I am very sorry to hear that your fiancé is so seriously ill.
I have little faith in the orthodox medical approach to any chronic disorder because it is simply designed to manage the symptoms of an illness, never it seems to actually find out what is causing it and to fix it.
I don't know how you feel about the alternative approach, but I have personally had a lot more success with my own illnesses over the years by avoiding the "drug" treadmill. The side effects are enough to warn us that our bodies are not responding well to that treatment, even though symptoms of the original illness might be reduced, it can lead to other problems caused by the drugs themselves.
Auto-immune disorders are now surfacing like at no other time period. Artificially produced, chemical based substances are not well tolerated by the body, which is already stressed by environmental factors beyond our control. We are getting further and further away from nature, to our detriment.
Medicinal cannabis is also proving to be very successful in alleviating the pain associated with many conditions. Is it legal in Norway?
Arthritis is a disease caused by inflammation, so even a change in diet can help with that. When it involves the skin, a topical application can sometimes work well. I have seen chronic skin conditions improve dramatically just by applying the oil.
I am no stranger to caring for a chronically ill partner. I cared for my husband for 5 years at home and then, when he became completely incapacitated, he was placed in a care facility because I could no longer manage his care on my own. I made sure I visited him every day and oversaw the treatments that he was given. We had no choice but to allow them to medicate him. He survived for three and a half years, and he knew I was always there.
At home, we always kept things light and we laughed a lot to make sure that depression over his condition did not weigh us down unnecessarily. His was a genetically inherited disorder that has no cure. All they can do at present is manage symptoms, although gene therapy, if it is ever made available, should see some progress for these kinds of disorders.
I am sure your lady knows that she is loved and appreciated for the person she is, rather than the sick body she is trapped in. She is very fortunate to have someone like you at her side.
I alway felt that putting myself in my husband's place helped me to be more patient, even when he was difficult. Empathy helped to calm the emotions, which can be overwhelming at times.
Care-giving is a tough job, but our own attitude is so important. We need to take care of our own well-being too, otherwise there will be two victims. Respite is essential if it is available. I found that it recharged my batteries enough to keep going. Having a sure hope for the future also gave me comfort.
I wish all the best to you both.
Deeje