What's The Best Response To This?

[Rival]

Judaism DIR

Shalom,

I'm asking about this in relation to things like slander etc. in halacha.

So as many people know, my dad has a drinking problem. He and I live with his parents and they argue and argue constantly. Dad then wants to moan and whine to me about what they said to him, but these people are my grandparents and I love them dearly; I don't want to say bad words about them, but if I stay silent or suggest reasonable diplomacy he becomes angry at me too. Sometimes these arguments threaten to erupt into physical violence, especially between my dad and his dad.

How am I supposed to respond when I'm piggy-in-the-middle? Any ideas?

Thanks.

 

[Eliab ben Benjamin]

Suggest to your parents they read and understand (Exodus 20:12) , Honor thy Father and Mother,
Solomon, the wisest man, urged children to respect their parents (Proverbs 1:8; 13:1; 30:17). Although we may no longer be directly under their authority, we cannot outgrow God’s command to honor our parents

and further perhaps suggest they leave the room, when an altercation is imminent,

 

[Rival]

Suggest to your parents they read and understand (Exodus 20:12) , Honor thy Father and Mother,
Solomon, the wisest man, urged children to respect their parents (Proverbs 1:8; 13:1; 30:17). Although we may no longer be directly under their authority, we cannot outgrow God’s command to honor our parents

and further perhaps suggest they leave the room, when an altercation is imminent,

This would be amazing if they weren't all atheists!

 

[Eliab ben Benjamin]

This would be amazing if they weren't all atheists!

Well yes, so the bottom option, leave the room, walk away, enjoy the garden ....
or perhaps you could talk in a calm quiet way to your parents, and inform them how discomforting
their behavior is, offer them suggestions how they could get on better with their parents ... or perhaps
also consider finding a quiet peaceful space ...

In simple terms, "grow Up" applies to them , both need to stop childish behavior ...

 

[Akivah]

Judaism DIR

Shalom,

I'm asking about this in relation to things like slander etc. in halacha.

So as many people know, my dad has a drinking problem. He and I live with his parents and they argue and argue constantly. Dad then wants to moan and whine to me about what they said to him, but these people are my grandparents and I love them dearly; I don't want to say bad words about them, but if I stay silent or suggest reasonable diplomacy he becomes angry at me too. Sometimes these arguments threaten to erupt into physical violence, especially between my dad and his dad.

How am I supposed to respond when I'm piggy-in-the-middle? Any ideas?

Thanks.

Perhaps you could try Al Anon, an organization of people whose family members are alcoholics. On a websearch, I found these comments about your situation:

I have found simply stating that I no longer can participate in gossip ,or judging others because I found that it hurts me emotionally. My new set of principles ask that I keep the focus on myself and respond in a constructive manner to life. This generally points the conversation on to the principles and off we go,

Detachment takes practice - keeping the focus on myself, examining the internal messages that I told myself helped me to see that I allowed my feelings to be hurt because I told myself I was bad, I was guilty, they were right etc. Learning how to list my assets, and gratitude helped me to validate myself when under attack.