What Sexual Activities Are OK with God in Marriage?

[Skwim]

OR, What's Wrong With Too Many of God's Self Appointed Spokespeople?


If you want to skip all the introductory blathering and get to the meat of the answer go to the 8:56 mark.

​

Surprised? You shouldn't be. I'll leave it to you to figure out what's going on here.

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[Flame]

Her sex life must be boring.

Also I want those 9 minutes of my life back.

 

[Estro Felino]

Cruel as usual, Popeye.

 

[Mindmaster]

OR,
Surprised? You shouldn't be. I'll leave it to you to figure out what's going on here.

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Skip to 8:56, AKA the end of the video. You're funny.

But seriously, real Christians are never supposed to have sex except when conceiving. Booty, oral, and hand don't count (if the other person does it for you).

 

[Estro Felino]

Skip to 8:56, AKA the end of the video. You're funny.

But seriously, real Christians are never supposed to have sex except when conceiving. Booty, oral, and hand don't count (if the other person does it for you).

You forgot that it must be done in the dark. Seeing nudity is a sin

 

[Flame]

You forgot that it must be done in the dark. Seeing nudity is a sin

And you have to close your eyes through the whole act as well.

 

[Deidre]

''Peaceful wife?''

Whenever I read or hear about these types of Christians, I can't help but wonder if they're somehow brainwashed and controlled by the church they're in, or a pastor...or their husbands. Like by ''peaceful wife,'' she means that her husband basically dictates the marriage.

 

[Subduction Zone]

''Peaceful wife?''

Whenever I read or hear about these types of Christians, I can't help but wonder if they're somehow brainwashed and controlled by the church they're in, or a pastor...or their husbands. Like by ''peaceful wife,'' she means that her husband basically dictates the marriage.

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. It is a good thing that the Bible was written by God, otherwise some women might try to claim it was written by rather primitive patriarchal men. Of course I thought that the Stepford Wives had a happy ending

 

[Mindmaster]

You forgot that it must be done in the dark. Seeing nudity is a sin

I think you can just close your eyes?

 

[Frater Sisyphus]

Porn is allowed but God HATES straight Porn, so none of that

 

[The Emperor of Mankind]

"What Sexual Activities Are OK with God in Marriage?"

Depends on the god and if they're feeling adventurous, I suppose.

 

[Mock Turtle]

And you have to close your eyes through the whole act as well.

Last orders at the pub? That's my excuse.

 

[Stevicus]

Surprised? You shouldn't be. I'll leave it to you to figure out what's going on here.

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I'm not sure, but this could answer the question about who first suggested the idea of reproduction without sex. This woman's husband must be the guy in this video:

 

[Valjean]

So a three-way with my partner and a cocker spaniel is all out?

 

[Skwim]

So a three-way with my partner and a cocker spaniel is all out?

April didn't say so, so I guess you have a green light. Just make sure the cocker spaniel uses a condom.

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[BSM1]

Duh! If God wants to have sexual relations in someone's marriage who gonna stop Him?

 

[Rival]

Duh! If God wants to have sexual relations in someone's marriage who gonna stop Him?

I'm glad I'm not the only one who read the title that way.

 

[Gulo]

OR, What's Wrong With Too Many of God's Self Appointed Spokespeople?


If you want to skip all the introductory blathering and get to the meat of the answer go to the 8:56 mark.

​

Surprised? You shouldn't be. I'll leave it to you to figure out what's going on here.

.

Which god?

The Christian god allegedly knocked up a married woman, after commanding against adultery. Who is he to judge anybody?

 

[Subduction Zone]

So a three-way with my partner and a cocker spaniel is all out?

I will have to disagree with @Skwim 's answer. One important part of sex is informed consent. Children are judged not able to enter into informed consent. The spaniel, even more so. Sorry, until someone breeds an intelligent spaniel you are out of luck.

 

[oldbadger]

OR, What's Wrong With Too Many of God's Self Appointed Spokespeople?

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Surprised? You shouldn't be. I'll leave it to you to figure out what's going on here.

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Jacob's wife let him do naughty things with her handmaiden Hannah. All OK with God.

This opens up all kinds of possibilities.