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What Is Your Deepest Fear?

Aupmanyav

Be your own guru
What is your deepest, darkest fear?
Do you think often about it? How do you deal with it when you do?
What do you think the chances of the object of that fear coming to fruition?
Fear, for an advaitist, none. For Brahman, for what constitute the universe and all things in it?
 

sun rise

The world is on fire
Premium Member
Senility. Or, in general, mental degradation. But it's not something I frequently think about. Maybe once every couple weeks at most, and then rather briefly. It spurs me to try to live as fully as I can while I can.
altzheimers or another form of dementia.
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about death.
I am talking about being trapped in a useless body.
I doubt that it will be a worse case scenario situation, like in Metallica's One.
That too unnerves me. I already have knee problems. Accepting permanent use of walking devices isn't something I like thinking about.
But even if its not a prison of darkness, even if its not all you see, it wpuld still be an absolute horror to have your limbs and hair but still be imprisoned in a motionless shell.
 

Erebus

Well-Known Member
I struggle quite a bit with intrusive thoughts. Often, they take the form of disturbing "what if?" scenarios centered around violence to those I love. They might play out something like this:

"Hey, imagine if you lost it and stabbed your dog to death? Can you picture the horror and grief you would feel immediately afterwards? Would it make you cut your own throat on the spot?"

I think my greatest fear would be for those thoughts to come true. To somehow lose control and become a monster, then snap out of it and see what I'd done. I understand that these sorts of thoughts are connected with my illness and represent a sort of self-torture rather than being things I actually would do. Still, they're a frequent source of anxiety for me.
 

Cooky

Veteran Member
I struggle quite a bit with intrusive thoughts. Often, they take the form of disturbing "what if?" scenarios centered around violence to those I love. They might play out something like this:

"Hey, imagine if you lost it and stabbed your dog to death? Can you picture the horror and grief you would feel immediately afterwards? Would it make you cut your own throat on the spot?"

I think my greatest fear would be for those thoughts to come true. To somehow lose control and become a monster, then snap out of it and see what I'd done. I understand that these sorts of thoughts are connected with my illness and represent a sort of self-torture rather than being things I actually would do. Still, they're a frequent source of anxiety for me.

Just imagine someone else doing those horrible things to your best bud... Your poor, innocent and trustworthy pal, tormented by a crazy monster.

...Seeing it from another angle, might be a helpful paradigm.
 

BSM1

What? Me worry?
My body giving out on me.


Yes


Distract myself


I fear they are pretty good.

Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about death.
I am talking about being trapped in a useless body.
I doubt that it will be a worse case scenario situation, like in Metallica's One.

But my body is slowly "shutting down" (for lack of a better term).
I have numerous medical issues.
My legs are getting worse in that it is getting harder and harder to stand, let alone walk.
The doctors best guess is that is some kind of internal allergen, but they have no idea what.

Years ago I was diagnosed with arthritis in my lower back.
The doctor said there is not much that can done about it and that it will slowly get worse.

I have carpel tunnel in my left wrist, making it both painful and difficult to type, hold a phone, hold a fork to cut up food, etc.

Add to the above my diabetes, Crohn's disease, heart disease, high blood pressure, GERD, etc.

Have you ever read "Johnny Got His Gun"?
 

BSM1

What? Me worry?
My mum had it and I work in a dementia centre; a very cruel disease, but not just for the person with the disease but their loved ones. You are grieving for the loss even while they are alive.

Not to seem insensitive, but aren't those with advanced dementia and Alzheimers not aware of their disease?
 

Secret Chief

nirvana is samsara
Not to seem insensitive, but aren't those with advanced dementia and Alzheimers not aware of their disease?
Good question, a common notion.
As the disease attacks the brain (and there are several types of dementia) it manifests in very different ways. Regarding your question: some are and some are not.
 

Quagmire

Imaginary talking monkey
Staff member
Premium Member
"Im afraid of no one else but me, and Im here all the time, and I wont go away"
Matchbox Twenty – Long Day

Theres a lot of truth in that.

Im afraid of making bad decisions.

Im afraid of letting my emotions blind me to something I was supposed to see.I

I'm terrified of this tendency I have to fail to appreciate what I have and ( related) this tendency to stress over what isnt there anymore.

Im afraid of waking up one morning and realizing Ive wasted my life (Although this freaks me out less less every time it happens :p)

Im afraud ne if these days Ill get so angry at autocorrect that Ill throw my tablet against a wall.l
 

BSM1

What? Me worry?
no.
have you more information on it?


Not to spoil it, but it's a novel about a soldier in WWI that was catastrophically injured to the point that he could only move his eyelids (if memory serves). The ending is a gut-puncher.
 

McBell

Resident Sourpuss
Not to spoil it, but it's a novel about a soldier in WWI that was catastrophically injured to the point that he could only move his eyelids (if memory serves). The ending is a gut-puncher.
Um...
I was kinda hoping for at the very least an author name...
Perhaps a link...
 
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