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What is nonbinary?

ImmortalFlame

Woke gremlin
It tells me its a very complicated subject that I don't understand.
I respect your honesty. It is a pretty difficult subject and it can be very coumter-intuitive for a lot of people. The important thing is that you are actually asking questions and seem to genuinely be trying to figure it out, which I also respect. It can be hard not to form a lot of preconceptions about stuff like this.
 

Madmogwai

Madmogwai
So what is a "man"? How do you look at someone and identify them as a "man" if the traits are irrelevant?
The traits are relevant, I'm just saying not for this post as your trying to play games rather then be truthful.
Regardless of how I look at them does not change what they are.
And nor can they change what they are.
 

9-10ths_Penguin

1/10 Subway Stalinist
Premium Member
It tells me its a very complicated subject that I don't understand.
I find that the Genderbread Person is a useful tool for helping build understanding:


For gender identity, there are two sliders: "Man-ness" and "Woman-ness."

With a gender binary, the assumption is that there are only two states:

  • Man: the "Man-ness" slider is cranked all the way up and the "Woman-ness" slider is cranked all the way down.
  • Woman: the "Woman-ness" slider is cranked all the way up and the "Man-ness" slider is cranked all the way down.
The term "non-binary" covers everything else, including:

  • Both sliders cranked up (i.e. identifying with both genders, e.g. being two-spirited)
  • Both sliders cranked down (i.e. not identifying with either gender, e.g. being agender)
  • Either or both sliders somewhere in the middle
  • The position of the sliders varying over time (e.g. being genderfluid)
 

ImmortalFlame

Woke gremlin
So it all really boils down to what someone wishes to be called?
From the outside, yeah. You ask someone, they tell you, that's all you got to go on. Internally, there's much more going on, obviously.


Are the words male and female without any meaning then?
Only social meaning. We have social expectations attached to these words, and often people feel a certain label conveys better the social expectations they feel closest or best represents them. As a gender abolitionist, I would just do away with the whole idea of associating certain expectations or characteristics to certain gender labels altogether, but as we still live in a society where gender plays a huge role in not only how people see and act towards us, but in how we see ourselves, it makes sense that people wish to use those labels in a way that does not stick them with one set or the other.
 

ImmortalFlame

Woke gremlin
The traits are relevant,
If traits are irrelevant, how on earth do you identify anyone as either male or female? Do you require them to wear special badges?


I'm just saying not for this post as your trying to play games rather then be truthful.
I am not sure what game you think I'm playing. I'm literally just asking you some basic questions.

Regardless of how I look at them does not change what they are.
And nor can they change what they are.
And how do you determine what they are?
 

9-10ths_Penguin

1/10 Subway Stalinist
Premium Member
What is the difference between a tomboy female and a transman? What exactly is it that makes someone a man or a female?
The difference between a tomboy and a trans man is identity. A tomboy is a girl or woman who does things that are stereotypically associated with men/boys and not women/girls but still identifies as a woman/girl.

FYI: generally, the terms "man" and "woman" are used to describe gender, while "male" and "female" are used to describe sex. Not the same thing, but I noticed you mixing terms from the two different categories.
 

Madmogwai

Madmogwai
If traits are irrelevant, how on earth do you identify anyone as either male or female? Do you require them to wear special badges?



I am not sure what game you think I'm playing. I'm literally just asking you some basic questions.


And how do you determine what they are?
I'm not saying traits are irrelevant, we have genetic and social traits.
How can you tell, look at the person, obviously.
 

Madmogwai

Madmogwai
Yes you did. You said it twice, in fact.



Okay, so now traits DO matter?


Uh huh. So, what if you look at a person and are wrong about their gender?
What if you do get their gender wrong, then that's on them.
And for the 3rd time I never said traits don't matter, you just cannot understand for some reason.
 

Madmogwai

Madmogwai
If traits are irrelevant, how on earth do you identify anyone as either male or female? Do you require them to wear special badges?



I am not sure what game you think I'm playing. I'm literally just asking you some basic questions.


And how do you determine what they are?
I don't determine what they are, nature did at Birth.
 

We Never Know

No Slack
The difference between a tomboy and a trans man is identity. A tomboy is a girl or woman who does things that are stereotypically associated with men/boys and not women/girls but still identifies as a woman/girl.

FYI: generally, the terms "man" and "woman" are used to describe gender, while "male" and "female" are used to describe sex. Not the same thing, but I noticed you mixing terms from the two different categories.

Its going to come to a point where male and female, man and woman... Are meaningless.

A male(sex) can identify as a woman(gender) and live as a female(sex) and vice-versa

And with male and female, man and woman.....
I can't see how someone can feel like none of the above.

Our genes are around 91% similar to cats.
If a teen says I identify as a cat , everyone says that BS, its impossible, etc etc.

But yet a male can identify as a woman and a female as a man

Its all confusing
 
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JDMS

Academic Workhorse
It tells me its a very complicated subject that I don't understand.

You aren't alone.

Even as a binary trans man, I do not necessarily understand nonbinary identities.

I assume I superficially understand nonbinary identities the same way a cisgender person superficially understands my binary trans identity. I assume there's logic to it, but its locked behind the gate of personal experience and perception.

Hence why I respect nonbinary people, and never neglect to use the pronouns they ask me to use. No skin off my back.
 
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