What is actually bullying? More than you think.

[Spirit of Light]

To be bullied is more than people flinging bad words toward you and this article show it in a good way. And remember bullying is what the victims feels is bullying, not always just what the bully does.

https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work...g-violence-harassment-and-bullying-fact-sheet

 

[SalixIncendium]

I feel bullied into believing that bullying is when a when a person feels bullied.

For example, I can coach two of my employees in the exact same fashion. One may accept the coaching, adjust their course, and move on. The other might feel I have just bullied them because they feel bullied into changing their behavior.

I think you're oversimplifying what bullying is and isn't.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I feel bullied into believing that bullying is when a when a person feels bullied.

For example, I can coach two of my employees in the exact same fashion. One may accept the coaching, adjust their course, and move on. The other might feel I have just bullied them because they feel bullied into changing their behavior.

I think you're oversimplifying what bullying is and isn't.

What is and is not bullying is not a clear cut for sure, I does come often down to how the "bullied" person feels about the situation.
And as you say it may be that here I over simplify it to much.

 

[Spirit of Light]

A danger in trying to stop bullying in general could of course also be if I push it to far, and it start feeling as bullying of those who are "targeted" by my post now.

I will do my best to not let that happen.

 

[Jainarayan]

I don't entirely agree with this list.

• Keeping someone out of a group (online or offline) This smacks of "everyone gets a trophy", inclusiveness can go too far. If I don't want to invite someone into a group I think that's my right. I don't owe it to anyone to include them.
• Acting in an unpleasant way near or towards someone I'm iffy about this one. I can dislike or be indifferent to someone.
• Giving nasty looks, making rude gestures, calling names, being rude and impolite, and constantly negative teasing. Agreed, I don't like this. There's no need.
• Spreading rumours or lies, or misrepresenting someone (i.e. using their Facebook account to post messages as if it were them) Agreed, I don't like this. T
• Mucking about that goes too far Depends on what is too far, this is subjective. Friends joke around and tease.
• Harassing someone based on their race, sex, religion, gender or a disability Unconscionable.
• Intentionally and repeatedly hurting someone physically Unconscionable.
• Intentionally stalking someone More than bullying, it's threatening.
• Taking advantage of any power over someone else like a Prefect or a Student Representative. Agreed, I don't like this.

 

[Revoltingest]

To be bullied is more than people flinging bad words toward you and this article show it in a good way. And remember bullying is what the victims feels is bullying, not always just what the bully does.

https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work...g-violence-harassment-and-bullying-fact-sheet

That's a troubling definition of bullying, ie,
that things are what someone feels.

I'm reminded me of the common feminist tactic
of calling disagreement with them "gaslighting".
That term means to intentionally distort their
sense of reality for nefarious purpose.
The problem does not lie with the person who
disagrees with them....it lies in their inappropriate
feeling about it, & their trying to make themselves
the victim of a perpetrator.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I don't entirely agreewith this list.

• Keeping someone out of a group (online or offline) This smacks of "everyone gets a trophy", inclusiveness can go too far. If I don't want to invite someone into a group I think that's my right. I don't owe it to anyone to include them.
• Acting in an unpleasant way near or towards someone I'm iffy about this one. I can dislike or be indifferent to someone.
• Giving nasty looks, making rude gestures, calling names, being rude and impolite, and constantly negative teasing. Agreed, I don't like this. There's no need.
• Spreading rumours or lies, or misrepresenting someone (i.e. using their Facebook account to post messages as if it were them) Agreed, I don't like this. T
• Mucking about that goes too far Depends on what is too far, this is subjective. Friends joke around and tease.
• Harassing someone based on their race, sex, religion, gender or a disability Unconscionable.
• Intentionally and repeatedly hurting someone physically Unconscionable.
• Intentionally stalking someone More than bullying, it's threatening.
• Taking advantage of any power over someone else like a Prefect or a Student Representative. Agreed, I don't like this.

@Jainarayan than you for your feedback, as you mentioned, not everyone going to see the list the same way, and people do put more focus on different aspects of what bullying is to them.

 

[Spirit of Light]

That's a troubling definition of bullying, ie,
that things are what someone feels.

It is one way to understanding what it is, but clearly not the only way to see it.

 

[Revoltingest]

It is one way to understanding what it is, but clearly not the only way to see it.

It's useful for someone to express how they feel.
But their feelings don't define other people.

 

[Spirit of Light]

It's useful for someone to express how they feel.
But their feelings don't define other people.

My belief is that all humans can express them selvs in a good way, without telling other in a negative way what is "wrong" in their eyes.

Have I fallen for this my self? Yes, to many times.
My way of asking questions can flip toward my self too.

 

[F1fan]

To be bullied is more than people flinging bad words toward you and this article show it in a good way. And remember bullying is what the victims feels is bullying, not always just what the bully does.

https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work...g-violence-harassment-and-bullying-fact-sheet

I think it goes back and forth. i'm concerned about bullying online. It seems some of the abused look to the internet for support and connection which opens the door to abuse and bullying. More vulnerable people are at higher risk, and they need to manage their exposure to online experiences. I worry that parents may not be aware of the abuse going on with their kids.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I think it goes back and forth. i'm concerned about bullying online. It seems some of the abused look to the internet for support and connection which opens the door to abuse and bullying. More vulnerable people are at higher risk, and they need to manage their exposure to online experiences. I worry that parents may not be aware of the abuse going on with their kids.

This is so true, and correct ( in my view)

 

[Revoltingest]

My belief is that all humans can express them selvs in a good way, without telling other in a negative way what is "wrong" in their eyes.

Have I fallen for this my self? Yes, to many times.
My way of asking questions can flip toward my self too.

I say it's more useful to judge bullying by intent.
Effect is more about moderating speech that
harms, but isn't necessarily intended to bully.

 

[Vinayaka]

I feel bullied into believing that bullying is when a when a person feels bullied.

For example, I can coach two of my employees in the exact same fashion. One may accept the coaching, adjust their course, and move on. The other might feel I have just bullied them because they feel bullied into changing their behavior.

I think you're oversimplifying what bullying is and isn't.

On a school playground, each side can accuse the other of bullying, and in many cases justifiably so. Yes it's not simple.
We had grade ones running up to Grade 9s and kicking them in the shins then running off. This went on for several days, and then when the Grade 9 fellow finally got fed up with it and grabbed the young'un, he (the grade1) went into the office to claim a Grade 9 was picking on him.

Footnote ... (It got straightened out.)