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What Do You Look For in a Mate?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Cynic, Dec 15, 2007.

?

What are MUST HAVE traits?

Poll closed Dec 30, 2007.
  1. Good Looks

    58.3%
  2. Nice Body

    50.0%
  3. Excellent sense of humor

    58.3%
  4. Intelligence

    91.7%
  5. kindness and sensitivity

    70.8%
  6. Independance

    70.8%
  7. Mystery

    33.3%
  8. An "Edge"

    29.2%
  9. A Secure Job and Money

    16.7%
  10. Other (please explain)

    16.7%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. angellous_evangellous

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    That's why it's so hard to find a spouse!:D
     
  2. Buttercup

    Buttercup Veteran Member

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    Think about it for one millisecond. Have you ever known anyone who wants to marry somebody stupid and on purpose?
     
  3. Cynic

    Cynic Well-Known Member

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    Surveys by Anthropologist Helen Fischer have shown that the average male actually favors below average intelligence in women (probably because its a sign of youthfulness), while the average female favors above average intelligence in men (perhaps it is a sign of older age).
     
  4. Buttercup

    Buttercup Veteran Member

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    Good thing my husband has higher than average intelligence. ;)
     
  5. Buttercup

    Buttercup Veteran Member

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    I'm not so sure about that but, perhaps. My thought is that some men's egos might not be able to handle a woman who is more intelligent than they are. As far as what women prefer...to me it has nothing to do with age. I've neverbeen attracted to older men....just smart ones.
     
  6. Cynic

    Cynic Well-Known Member

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    I'm thinking from the perspective of evolutionary psychology. Most of the physical indicators men look for (full lips, wide hips, big breasts, etc) correlate to youthfulness, high estrogen, and fertility. I was thinking that below average intelligence might also be an indicator of youthfulness.

    I have liked women who weren't the most intelligent, (not dumb), just naive and innocent in a certain way (in that they have potential). I think its cute.
    On the other hand I find myself very attracted to women who exhibit a lot of intelligence.
     
  7. Buttercup

    Buttercup Veteran Member

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    I'm aware of that standard. However, I think for nearly every physical preference that claims dominance, you can find just as many who prefer the opposite. It's my thought that new extensive studies need to be done. Tastes change. During the Victorian era the desired shape for women would be considered overweight now.

    Yeah, but naive and innocent does not equate with dumb as you say. Just from the small survey here you can tell most men prefer women smart. It's beneficial to anyone's ego to have a smart spouse. I would be highly embarrassed if my husband was dumb, and he'd feel the same about me.
     
  8. Cynic

    Cynic Well-Known Member

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    I think evolutionary psychology seeks universal standards. Although I'd agree that it's not black and white.

    Well, it's my personal preference. Either way, she must be intelligent or have the capacity in the least.
     
  9. Hope

    Hope Princesinha

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    But there's so much freedom in singleness! While I definitely want to get married someday, when I think of all the freedom I'll have to sacrifice, it makes me a bit sad. I'm not sure which I want more: my freedom, or love.

    Of course, this is coming from someone who's only been in one serious relationship, and it was with a guy who completely suffocated me. Kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. :eek:
     
  10. madhatter85

    madhatter85 Transhumanist

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    It's funny i voted for everything my Wife has, and it was all but the last two....
     
  11. Willamena

    Willamena Just me
    Premium Member

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    Religion:
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    Existence: that's always the first thing I look for. Presence is a must. Breathing. And hugs.
     
  12. Mike182

    Mike182 Flaming Queer

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    i've been single for ninteen years, and if i add up all the time i've been in relationships, it comes to about a year. i certainly prefer to not be single.

    i don't think relationships necessarily forfeit your freedoms, other than sleeping around - which i wouldn't do anyway. so long as you communicate with your partner, and they respond in kind, you can easily negotiate the time you want for yourself and the other things you want to do without sacrificing on either account.

    though i do understand, being suffocated in a past relationship would certainly leave a bad taste.
     
  13. MdmSzdWhtGuy

    MdmSzdWhtGuy Well-Known Member

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    Or maybe they (the men) are hoping a dumber chick would be less likely to be argumentative and such?

    B.
     
  14. Yes Man

    Yes Man Well-Known Member

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    Well I originally said intelligence (personally I would like someone smarter than me) , good looks (as I am shallow :D), and independence (he or she needs to have some ambition). But after reading some of the posts, a sense of humor does seem like something I would like in a mate.
     
  15. MdmSzdWhtGuy

    MdmSzdWhtGuy Well-Known Member

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    If you knew what I looked like vs. what Mrs. MdmSzdWhtGuy looked like, you would realize that, for her, a sense of humor is imperative.

    B.
     
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  16. BUDDY

    BUDDY User of Aspercreme

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    She has to like Texas A&M Athletics...and she does.
     
  17. Buttercup

    Buttercup Veteran Member

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    I don't think intelligence has much to do with an argumentative nature. ;)
     
  18. MdmSzdWhtGuy

    MdmSzdWhtGuy Well-Known Member

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    Seems to me that the more dull a person, in general, the more likely they are to just go along with the program, while the more intelligent they are, the more they tend to question things.

    Now I am certain that there are some genius's out there who just go along to get along, and there are no doubt some dolt's out there who argue every point, but, in my own experience, these would be the exceptions, and not the norm.

    However, that being said, I can say that every woman I am in a relationship with for more than about a day and a half ends up being argumentative, and I am certain that they would all say the same about me, so it is very likely that being argumentative is just a universal trait, and you could be entirely correct. But I like my chances of winning said argument when up against a less intelligent opponent, just like I would like my odds of winning a wrestling match when I am stronger and bigger than my opponent.

    B.
     
  19. Buttercup

    Buttercup Veteran Member

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    I am by no means an expert on human psychology but, often a person is argumentative for control and/or insecurity issues which has little to do with intelligence.

    My son Brandon is a certified genius and is probably the most easy going of my kids even though he's the smartest. He also has a minimally curious nature....another trait that is often found amongst highly intelligent people.

    Of course. And a good reason you are an attorney. ;) You're well suited for that profession.
     
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  20. Ozzie

    Ozzie Well-Known Member

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    A six-pack is always a good sign.:yes:
     
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