What do you do in Heaven?

[Green Gaia]

Coffee in heaven?! I don't think so. :tsk: :biglaugh:

Once upon a time, there was a man who had no religion, but was a very good and honest fellow. At death, he found himself in heaven. A kindly looking gentleman was waiting for him. Said the gatekeeper of heaven, "What religion are you sir?".

The man said, "I have no religion."

The gatekeeper said, "Well, where would you like to spend eternity, then?"

The man shrugged. "What are some options?"

Together, they strolled through the halls of heaven, looking in different rooms. In the first, a great congregation knelt before a great glowing figure, their faces to the ground and their hands outstretched. The man didn't think that looked too good.

Next, they stood outside a large sanctuary where a preacher was preaching loudly, to many "Amens" and "Hallelujahs." St. Peter put a finger to his lips and said, "And at this door, we need to be ver-r-r-r-r-r-y quiet."

"Why?" asked the newcomer.

"Because," St. Peter replied, "Those are the Southern Baptists, and they think they're the only ones here."

In another, a great congegration knelt before a fellow hanging from a big cross. The man didn't think much of that either. And indeed, in every room, the man found less than satisfactory situations in which to spend eternity. So, finally the gatekeeper said, "Okay, there's one last option."

The walked down the hall, and the gatekeeper opened the final door, behind which were a great congregation of Unitarians dancing in a big ring around a huge coffeepot singing "Coffee, coffee, coffee!".


OR


A Unitarian Universalist comes to a fork in the road. The sign pointing right says, "To Heaven." The sign pointing left says, "To a discussion about Heaven." The UU will invariably head left!

 

[Meesheltx]

It just kinda makes me crazy when people talk/sing about how they can't wait to get to heaven and do nothing but praise the lord. I have a big problem with the theory that all we do in heaven is basically soak up the joy of being in the presence of the lord...

If there is an afterlife, wouldn't it be best to do something useful for others? It seems many people on here even have kind of a selfish view of heaven. like its all about happiness for themselves...I would hope that heaven would be the realization that you should be totally selfless, but at the same time, not totally focused on God alone.

 

[robtex]

If there is an afterlife, wouldn't it be best to do something useful for others? It seems many people on here even have kind of a selfish view of heaven. like its all about happiness for themselves...I would hope that heaven would be the realization that you should be totally selfless, but at the same time, not totally focused on God alone.

What a beautiful thought. If you find that place could post directions to it on here?

 

[Faint]

It just kinda makes me crazy when people talk/sing about how they can't wait to get to heaven and do nothing but praise the lord. I have a big problem with the theory that all we do in heaven is basically soak up the joy of being in the presence of the lord...

I agree. I read a story once about this...heaven was basically a bunch of people sitting in chairs doing nothing all day because they were "content". They had no desire to do anything else, no motivation because they were satisfied just "being in God's presence". To me, this sounds like an afterlife of couch potatoes. I have no interest in this type of existence--I could get that here watching TV.

I'm not sure if there is an afterlife, but if there is, I hope it's one that offers infinite adventures, and I hope it's a lot like the world we live in. I happen to really enjoy life on earth--there's so much to do, so much fun to have.

I also like the Maize's story about having a choice as to how you spend eternity. Here are some alternate afterlife options from pop-culture:

~ In the movie "Defending You Life", the afterlife was like downtown Beverly Hills--there were all you can eat gourmet buffets but all the food had zero calories. There was also a sort of past-life theater to watch your previous incarnations.

~ "What Dreams May Come" had a heaven where souls could shape-shift themselves and their personal heaven-space to whatever they wanted. Also, there was work available--to do good in the world of the living.

~ In the Flying Spaghetti Monster's heaven there is a stripper factory and a beer volcano.

~ The afterlife in "Flatliners" was like a hell in which the bad things you did in life (and left unresolved) continue to haunt you.

~ In "Corpse Bride", people apparently hang-out underground singing Danny Elfman music while their bodies rot.

~ Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" stories include a hell in which people only suffer because they believe themselves wothy of punishment (in fact they are free to leave at anytime). It also has the quote, "you don't have to stay anywhere forever".

 

[lilithu]

It just kinda makes me crazy when people talk/sing about how they can't wait to get to heaven and do nothing but praise the lord. I have a big problem with the theory that all we do in heaven is basically soak up the joy of being in the presence of the lord...

If there is an afterlife, wouldn't it be best to do something useful for others? It seems many people on here even have kind of a selfish view of heaven. like its all about happiness for themselves...I would hope that heaven would be the realization that you should be totally selfless, but at the same time, not totally focused on God alone.

frubal worthy.

I've always loved the hymn, "Amazing Grace" - the story of a personal experience of redemption - except for the last verse which I abhor.

When we've been there 10,000 years
bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
than when we first begun.

Even as a kid I thought that image was more hellish than heavenly. Let's see: firely pit for all eternity or singing hymns in a blinding golden light for all eternity, what a choice!

In my view, heaven is when one recognizes that there are no boundaries between ourselves, God and others. Therefore, there's no issue between being too God focused versus caring about others versus caring about oneself.

 

[Merlin]

Coffee in heaven?! I don't think so. :tsk: :biglaugh:

God might like a cuppa, who are you to deny Him

 

[lilithu]

Coffee in heaven?! I don't think so. :tsk: :biglaugh:

lol! The Mormons and the UUs are going to have to have different heavens, because apparently one person's heaven is another person's hell. Maybe we can keep separate quarters and just visit with each other.

 

[mr.guy]

Is homosexuality allowed in heaven?

 

[Meesheltx]

hmm...i'm lost...whats a frubal? i'm assuming its good..so thanks!

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Coffee in heaven?! I don't think so.

NO COFFEE!?!?! Then THANK GOD I'm not going to Heaven. How can you live in the after-life without a cup of hot coffee, cappacino, or mocca?

 

[Jaymes]

I can tell you what we won't do in heaven... listen to good musicians and eat sushi.

/obligatory Good Omens reference

 

[Aqualung]

see your cheerio thread for what I'll be doing in heaven.

 

[Merlin]

It just kinda makes me crazy when people talk/sing about how they can't wait to get to heaven and do nothing but praise the lord. I have a big problem with the theory that all we do in heaven is basically soak up the joy of being in the presence of the lord...

If there is an afterlife, wouldn't it be best to do something useful for others? It seems many people on here even have kind of a selfish view of heaven. like its all about happiness for themselves...I would hope that heaven would be the realization that you should be totally selfless, but at the same time, not totally focused on God alone.

For all we know, in the next life would have another set of problems to reach an even higher life!

But once we move on, I suspect the problems with which the world is wrestling will be long behind us.

 

[Merlin]

hmm...i'm lost...whats a frubal? i'm assuming its good..so thanks!

This is common for newcomers to this site. Nowhere that I have found is there a page explaining what are frubals

To this day I do know how many I give when I give them, I don't know what coins are, and what the ribbons are for. fortunately, it doesn't matter because it is a very interesting site anyway.

Just for my education, is there a page that explains these things?

 

[Merlin]

Is homosexuality allowed in heaven?

According to some religions, it is an irrelevant question because they won't end up there anyway.

Actually, I think we will all be way above anything as trivial as sexual activity.

 

[may]

How many kings? Will the earth be divided up into sections with each one having a bit of the earth.

Will there be any Queens? Or do only men go to heaven

the bible says only 144,000 will go to rule with Jesus christ in the heaven , as the bible tells us that the kingdom of God will be one goverment over the earth Daniel 2;44 i would think deviding would be a thing of the past ,and what would be the point of male and female they are the bride of christ ,some say this verse inplies only men will go up
These are the ones that did not defile themselves with women; in fact, they are virgins. These are the ones that keep following the Lamb no matter where he goes. These were bought from among mankind as firstfruits to God and to the Lamb, and no falsehood was found in their mouths; they are without blemish." (Revelation 14:4, 5) but as the book of revelation is highly symbolic this is not refering to litral virgins ,but to spiritual virgins ,it means they have not got all dirty , because they have avoidedspiritual adultery with worldly politics and false religion james 4;4 revelation 17;5 so men and women will be chosen from the earth. whats important is spiritual cleanness
YOU are all, in fact, sons of God through YOUR faith in Christ Jesus.For all of YOU who were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor freeman, there is neither male nor female; for YOU are all one [person] in union with Christ Jesus. Moreover, if YOU belong to Christ, YOU are really Abraham’s seed, heirs with reference to a promise ....Galatians 3;26-28

 

[Merlin]

the bible says only 144,000 will go to rule with Jesus christ in the heaven

That is still a lot of kings to rule one little world, especially a world where there is no war, no hunger, no thirst, no famine, no illness, in fact no problems at all

 

[Merlin]

These are the ones that did not defile themselves withwomen; in fact, they are virgins. These are the ones that keep following the Lamb no matter where he goes. These were bought from among mankind as firstfruits to God and to the Lamb, and no falsehood was found in their mouths; they are without blemish." (Revelation 14:4, 5) but as the book of revelation is highly symbolic this is not refering to litral virgins ,but to spiritual virgins ,it means they have not got all dirty , because they have avoidedspiritual adultery

I think it is very specific about what the verse considers to be a virgin. Firstly it is only men, because you must not defile yourself with a woman (sorry lesbians, I forgot about you). Secondly, although Revelations is highly symbolic, in this particular case it is very explicit. I don't think it leaves a great deal of room for interpretation.

So according to this, it is mainly Catholic priests and Buddhist monks who will rule the world.

PS

I don't subscribe to that at all, of course. Revelations is just gibberish, but it does allow people to dip in and create whatever world and whatever future they feel comfortable with.

Whereas Paul, now there really is a goldmine of wisdom.

 

[Aqualung]

This is common for newcomers to this site. Nowhere that I have found is there a page explaining what are frubals

To this day I do know how many I give when I give them, I don't know what coins are, and what the ribbons are for. fortunately, it doesn't matter because it is a very interesting site anyway.

Just for my education, is there a page that explains these things?

Indeed there is! Go to general discussions. Up at the top there is a sticky called frubals coins and ribbons faqs.

 

[Kowalski]

Heaven doesn't exist, has anybody come back to say how wonderful it all is ??, NO, so it exists only in the minds of wishful thinkers.

What is going to happen, is your atoms will, your small amount of energy, will be disapated back into the World from whence it came, and maybe, just maybe, it float of into the cold darl emptiness of space, Second Law of Thermodynamics. Energy cannot be destroyed, only changed. Usually from useful energy into non-useful energy.

Heaven and Hell are one and same ,total and utter oblivion.

Cheers

K