Hello, Powerful Souls!
Here is my short summary of why I believe in God.
Now, let me ask you to imagine the following description.
Picture a little girl, which had so much warmth but was challenged by daily toxins. See her trying to understand love and hate, sexual abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, suicide attempts, suppression, crime, advantage, disadvantage, and the difference between right and wrong.
Imagine her partly growing up in a foster system where her path became harsher.
Throughout her development, she experienced traumatic nightmares which inflicted her to be homeless in her early twenties.
Now, imagine that this little girl was me.
Yes, it did affect me throughout my entire life.
When your soul is forcefully damaged into millions of little pieces then hardly someone is able to escape such traumatizing inflicted experiences.
There was no way to go, no one to talk to, and no one to hear me.
Everyday became the silent voice of death within me. Each day I said that I don't want to be here anymore. Therefore, every substance abuse became my opportunity to harming me into death.
There was a lot going on within myself.
Specifically, when you have been told that you are worthless, you are nothing, you are dirty, and you are a prostitute as well many more toxins impacting your mental health.
Surely it was harmful enough but not the worst-case scenarios.
See, I grew up in a dead village where suppression was normality.
Therefore, negativity was my accepted reality.
I tried to become a voice but I've been forced into not having one because a voice is only for a specific ethnicity and that for my breed the minimum of existence is foreseen.
All these influences had a triggering impact on my behavioral reactions. All circumstances without processing the cause resulted in PTSD. Any song, word or violent behavior would enable a survival reaction.
Every second turned into frustration.
Every minute turned into rage.
Every hour turned into aggression.
Every day turned into a challenge that reflects anyone as the enemy.
Trust me, during such vulnerable time I had no other choice than die. That seemed more realistic to me and the best option for everyone.
I thought that if I wouldn't be here any longer, the suffering would stop but no matter what I did, I even managed to overcome death itself.
It took me several attempts to realize that I had a purpose to follow throughout my life.
Nevertheless, I was working hard for a minimum income. When I wanted to achieve more there was more resistance than expected. People tried to convince me that it was not worth it or ungrateful because no one would ever appreciate it anyways. They used any sort of manipulation strategy you could think of to get me out of the way or let's say, off their radar but after my last suicide attempt in 2013 I began to realize, that no matter how hard I try to die even by poisoning myself but still survived (which I literally did), it was clear that we are born to die but not on our own terms. We die by a prediction that is not predictable by humans. It is a much more powerful resource invisible to the blinds.
This became the turning point of my entire life.
Ever since I was a little girl, I've always been hungry for knowledge. I began at a very early age to read. Even medic books all the way to psychology even if I had no idea what numerous words have been defined as.
It came in handy throughout my new path though.
I studied the dictionary so I could understand words. I studied phrases to understand the meaning of a deeper sense. I studied synonymous to build my truth with logical sense and the most important thing I became to master was my authenticity.
While adapting the knowledge and combining it with all the experiences I had, I had the privilege to bloom into a self-mastering lesson.
Not only that but as well I finally evolved into a powerful resource for handling resistance, discriminations and much more challenging lessons throughout my personal growth.
Today, I can say proudly that I've achieved various amazing things including writing my own biography and the decision of entrepreneurship.
My growth became my purpose. My purpose became my vision and my vision became my desire by supporting those throughout their personal growth with similar struggles.
Personal evolving is made for everyone and not only for a race, country or ideological believing system. It is for each unique individual searching for a leading spirit to achieve the freedom they have been hoping for.
It is important to me that the message will be heard and that the depression which has been caused by powerful forces will be healed.
We all have been through enough and I am convinced that if I was able to manage to become mentally free that definitely, everyone on the same path can too.
I am grateful that you've managed to read my story entirely.
Always “remember” that we are stronger then we think!
If you been through so many past traumatic events but still survive your suicide attempts (because of all the abuses), then yes, I have no other option to believe that there is someone much more powerful than we imagine.
Ever since my last suicide attempt in 2013, I've been suicide free. Never had another thought about it.
My story is long but this is as short as it can possibly become.
I am here to serve your soul.”
With Love
Lynette