Gratitude is considered a virtue by most religions.
So what are you grateful for - apart from this wonderful forum of course!
I am most grateful that my mind hasn't been completely scrambled by the experience of schizophrenia. I still have most of my marbles!
I am also grateful to have such a supportive family who never abandoned me no matter how wild & crazy my psychotic episodes may have been. A lot of people who have schizophrenia end up with little or no emotional support.
I could list many other things but that's probly enough from me for the time being.
What do you say ...
I have a genetic predisposition to depression and anxiety and probably some of it comes from my childhood and adult experiences. I could probably be more "normal" if I was willing to take psychotropic drugs but I refuse to go down that road again.
I am grateful for many things, but even if I am grateful for something I am still unhappy about something else. Once a few years ago a counselor (actually she was the director of the clinic who I got special treatment from) told me that most people would be happy if they had everything i have: Financial security, a nice husband and a good job. Obviously she did not understand how I felt or why.
A little background might help understand why I am conflicted; grateful on the one hand and angry on the other. I have believed in God for over 47 years but I ignored God for most of my life and for about ten years I was just angry at God. It was only about five years ago when I decided to give God and my religion a second chance, That has been a struggle, especially the God part. I love my religion but I have issues with God because there are so many things I do not understand, and even though my religion explains them, I am none too happy with the explanation. Mainly, I wonder why God allows suffering of people but more so suffering of animals, and I wonder why some people have it so good while others suffer so much. If God is loving and just, that does not seem right; yet I am supposed to believe it because it is in the scriptures.
So back to the topic at hand, gratefulness... I often wonder if most people who are "normal" are grateful for many things and have no complaints about anything in their life, they are just happy all the time. That is what it seems like but I just see them from a distance. But indeed surveys show that most people are happy, not depressed, so maybe it is not just what I see on the surface.
I am grateful for God and my religion but sometimes I wish I never found it and I was an atheist, because it carries a lot of responsibility and I have no fun anymore, except on forums.
I am grateful there is a life after death but sometimes I wish there was no such thing, because unless it is a lot better than this life, I cannot imagine anything worse than living forever.
I am grateful for my husband except when we are not getting along.
I am grateful for my job and except when the alarm clock rings at 5 am and I have only slept 4 or 5 hours.
I am grateful that I was able to get a lot of advanced education and that my mind is very much intact.
I am grateful that my physical health is very good.
I am grateful I have a three houses except when I have to deal with yard work, repairs and tenants.
I am grateful for the other assets we have except when I have to worry about losing them.
I am grateful I could retire any time I want to but I am worried about retiring, although I do not know exactly why.
I am grateful for my cats except when they get really sick and especially when they die.
I am grateful for this forum except when I spend too much time on it and have no time to do anything else, including getting enough sleep.
All in all, I really have nothing to complain about, but I still feel like something is wrong a lot of the time. I think that is the free floating anxiety, so I just have to ride it out. Staying busy on the forum thinking about other people and not myself is what helps me more than anything else does, that and vigorous physical activity which helps my mood. I am always much happier if I think I am helping someone else than if I am doing something that is only for myself, like enjoying myself... What's that anyway?
