Wearing My Hijab Around Family

[Doodlebug02]

Hi everyone. I can't wear my hijab around friends and family because they would know that I am a Muslim if I did. My family would disown me if they knew I was a Muslim and my friends probably would too. What can I do? Just not wear a hijab?

 

[jamaesi]

Before I try to help you with this issue, Sister, may I ask how old you are? Something like over 18, under 20 would do if you don't want to be too specific.

 

[neves]

I have no idea what you are going through... and I myself have not had this particular problem... so I don’t know what advice to give you except... pray to Allah sincerely and I am sure he will show you a path and make it easy for you... also you might want to watch these two Doc on people who had a similar experience... hopefully there is some guidance in it for you...

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=148

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=266

May Allah bless you...

 

[AbuQuteiba]

Allahul musta'aan. I'll try my best to think of a way to help you, my sister.

 

[Doodlebug02]

Before I try to help you with this issue, Sister, may I ask how old you are? Something like over 18, under 20 would do if you don't want to be too specific.

I am 24.

 

[fullyveiled muslimah]

I never had that problem. I was so bold about it I just came out and said I was muslim, and I got disowned for a year. It hurt, but they got over it. I don't know the specifics of your problems, but I'll venture a bit of advice.

First I'd like to know if you are depending on your family for livlihood sucha s food or shelter. If that's too personal just tell me. If you are, there is wisdom in hiding it. Allah does not wish to make it difficult for you to adhere to His commands.

The first thing I would tell you is to talk to your parents about Islam. Not in a preachy way, just kind of in passing and ascertain their position on it in general. Kind of ease them into getting comfortable discussing Islam with you. Try not to be so afraid, because it will come out sooner or later, and when it does it isn't going to be easy. If you have good parents that ove you, you might be surprised by their reaction. It may hurt them, and they may react initially with anger, but even so they love you. It may be easier to sit them down calmly over dinner at home maybe and tell them. It will be less dramatic and you can get on with living after that. The best approach in my opinion is to face it head on sis. It is hard to do when we fear the loss of our parents love and approval, but it will all work out for the better insha Allah.

 

[kellyjaz]

Talk to them about islam slowly.

Saalaaams.
Wish you all the best sis.

 

[Isa Islam]

Understand Allah loves and rewards the notion, patence. Patience isnt only waiting for people, it is resiliance. It sounds like a deep situation, try askimam.com, they are very helpful in these matters. If your family respect and love you, (IN NO WAY AM I SAYING THEY DONT) they would accept your new life. Advise them of your practises, and that you will be living a moral, righteous, justified way of life. Advise your family it will have little if any effect on them. Allah swt doubles the reward of muslim reverts, you are so fortunate sister. You brother in Islam.

 

[Katzpur]

First off, Holly, I would make every effort to decide for yourself what you really are. Since you've been on this forum, you've been just about every religion known to man. I seriously thought you were LDS at one point, but somewhere along the line, I realized you weren't.

Maybe you could handle the hijab issue this way: Wear it only one day a week, since you're only a Muslim about one day a week anyway. If your family gives you a hard time, tell them you're going to a costume party or something. Now before anybody jumps down my throat, it is not my intention to be disrespectful towards Muslims. I would never ridicule someone's religious clothing. What I have a hard time with is somebody who is a different religion every couple of weeks, and posts questions that sincere believers, like the Muslims who have responded in good faith to your OP, do their best to answer. It's one thing to be undecided, but I don't think that's the game that's being played here.

 

[K.Venugopal]

I can't wear my hijab around friends and family because they would know that I am a Muslim if I did.

If you are living in liberal democratic societies, your switching religion and dress style would not be grudged by anyone and you would have legal protection. But if you were living in Saudi Arabia (the citadel and bastion of Islam) and a Muslim there, you would probably be arrested if you were to convert to Christianity or Hinduism and display your new religious enthusiasm openly.

 

[McBell]

Hi everyone. I can't wear my hijab around friends and family because they would know that I am a Muslim if I did. My family would disown me if they knew I was a Muslim and my friends probably would too. What can I do? Just not wear a hijab?

I cannot help but wonder why, if you are a Muslim, you would have Mormon listed as your religion.

No offense intended, but I have to agree with Katzpur.

 

[Super Universe]

Maybe I missed it but can you show me in the Koran where it says to wear a hijab?

 

[Laila]

If you are living in liberal democratic societies, your switching religion and dress style would not be grudged by anyone and you would have legal protection. But if you were living in Saudi Arabia (the citadel and bastion of Islam) and a Muslim there, you would probably be arrested if you were to convert to Christianity or Hinduism and display your new religious enthusiasm openly.

A fair point made.

 

[Laila]

Dear Holly,

I suggest you think about the bigger issues around living your faith and being a good muslim, rather than get stuck on a dress code. When your family see you transformed as you truly live your faith they will be enrolled.

 

[Laila]

Maybe I missed it but can you show me in the Koran where it says to wear a hijab?

It doesn't state in the Quran that one must cover their hair or wear a hijab. However, this is mentioned in the hadith (equivalent to the talmud in Judaism) and I suppose it is up to the individual how they interpret their obligations to God.

God makes it clear in the Quran that it is essential for one to cover their private parts and that the best garment is the garment of God consciousness. I personally feel that I have not and do not compromise my faith by not wearing a head scarf.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

***MOD ADVISORY***

Please keep in mind that this is a Sunni forum, and only Sunnis can post their opinions here.

Thanks,
A_E

 

[Peace]

Maybe I missed it but can you show me in the Koran where it says to wear a hijab?

[SIZE=-1]“And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, or their brothers’ sons or their sisters’ sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss.” (Quran 24:31).[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (Quran 33:59)[/SIZE]

 

[K.Venugopal]

Dear Holly,

I suggest you think about the bigger issues around living your faith and being a good muslim, rather than get stuck on a dress code. When your family see you transformed as you truly live your faith they will be enrolled.

Great advice, Laila. True religion is not in the externals. It is a transformation within. Look at Mohammad himself. He lived a magnificent, bold life and lived as he pleased and had Allah to support him all the way. (Moral: God's for those who do their own thing.) The same was with Jesus - the man who said "Let the dead bury the dead". And the earliest hero of them all - Krishna, with his 16,008 wives, routing the villains in war by merely advising his General etc. etc. It is we, 'followers' of all religions, who are freaks, who come out as worms when compared with those titans. I say, be a Mohammad, be a Jesus, be a Krishna. Let's not follow them, let's be them and be better than them. Let us follow today to lead tomorrow. Believe me, Mohammad, Jesus and Krishna - all are truly dead and gone. Let us learn from their lives and the lives of the best that were amongst us. Let us belong to no one but to ourselves. Let us not be caught up with dress codes. Let us know, ultimately, came we nude and go we nude.

 

[K.Venugopal]

***MOD ADVISORY***

Please keep in mind that this is a Sunni forum, and only Sunnis can post their opinions here.

Thanks,
A_E

I would have liked to just say "Sorry for trespassing. I hereby withdraw." But I wish to add that I belong to no religion and I accept all religions as my human heritage. Nevertheless, civil society (or RF) cannot function unless it follows the laws in vogue. If we disagree with the law we may protest. But we have no right to be lawless. Saying thus, I withdraw from this forum and apologize for trespassing, for I am not exclusively a Sunni.

 

[Peace]

True religion is not in the externals.

:no:
Religion is both internal and external.

I say, be a Mohammad, be a Jesus. Let's not follow them,

Let's follow them to attain happiness and success in both this life and the life to come.

let's be them and be better than them.

Never can we be equal to them or better than them. The Prophets of God are the best creatures on the earth and that's why they were chosen.

Let us belong to no one but to ourselves.

We belong to God and to Him we shall return.

Let us not be caught up with dress codes. Let us know, ultimately, came we nude and go we nude.

Religion is Modesty.