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Useless Skills and Talents

Discussion in 'Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories' started by Debater Slayer, Oct 1, 2022.

  1. Debater Slayer

    Debater Slayer Veteran Member
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    - I can count up to 10 on my fingers and up to 20 if I use my toes... unless I'm wearing socks.

    - I can quench my thirst by drinking saltwater, provided it's desalinated.

    - I can look both ways before crossing the road. I'd probably get run over anyway if I moved to the UK or Australia, though, since I only expect traffic to come from the correct side of the road.

    What about you? Tell us about your most useless skills and talents!
     
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  2. Quagmire

    Quagmire Imaginary talking monkey
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    I can misspell just about any word in just about any language.
     
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  3. Debater Slayer

    Debater Slayer Veteran Member
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    Rellay?
     
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  4. Quagmire

    Quagmire Imaginary talking monkey
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    Apsulootlie.
     
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  5. Quagmire

    Quagmire Imaginary talking monkey
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    I can tell what furniture is thinking.
     
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  6. Debater Slayer

    Debater Slayer Veteran Member
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    I can walk on water for 0.1 seconds before drowning.
     
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  7. Debater Slayer

    Debater Slayer Veteran Member
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    I think everyone knows it thinks of crushing pinky toes.
     
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  8. Quagmire

    Quagmire Imaginary talking monkey
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    I can walk on water all day if that day is in February and the water is in Lake Michigan.
     
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  9. The Hammer

    The Hammer Wyrd Wide Web
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    I can count to pi.
     
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  10. sun rise

    sun rise Śvāna Dharma
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    I know in a split second when our dog wants a cookie or part of my dinner.
     
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  11. Gargovic Malkav

    Gargovic Malkav Well-Known Member

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    I can do it for longer.... provided the pool is shallow enough.
     
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  12. sun rise

    sun rise Śvāna Dharma
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    I can stand on one foot until I fall over.
     
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  13. Quagmire

    Quagmire Imaginary talking monkey
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    That's quite a skill, Sun rise.

    I usually fall over way before that.
     
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  14. Hockeycowboy

    Hockeycowboy Well-Known Member
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    I can close my eyes and sneeze at the same time!
     
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  15. Hockeycowboy

    Hockeycowboy Well-Known Member
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    I can close my eyes, make drooling sounds, and sleep all at the same time, too.
    (Or so my wife tells me.)
     
  16. ChristineM

    ChristineM "Be strong" I whispered to my coffee.
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    I can fall upstairs but haven't yet fallen downstairs.
     
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  17. Secret Chief

    Secret Chief Leaderless Animal

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    I can tell that someone is about to fart before they know they're going to.
     
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  18. Jedster

    Jedster Well-Known Member

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    A friend of mine crashed into the back of a car.
    When in court, he claimed that he sneezed and was blind at the time due to the sneeze.
    He got off.
     
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  19. Erebus

    Erebus Well-Known Member

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    I can fly.

    I can only do it downwards though.
     
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  20. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Turned to Stone. Now I stretch daily.
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    Super Smash Bros. I can dominate with Peach. Ha tcha!
     
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