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Understand or Attack?

Nikodemus

Nikodemus

Heartstone
I see very little attempt by people in general to understand the viewpoints of one another. I'm not talking about here, necessarily, but all over. It seems we don't want to actually entertain the idea that someone else may have an idea or view that deserves some respect.

Most of the time I see people already forming arguments as they are being told new information. They don't even wait until the other person is finished speaking before they go on the attack.

I have to believe that people who do that are afraid. Afraid that they have no ground to stand on or afraid that they are inferior. Otherwise it would be a simple matter to listen and then disagree in a rational manner, no?

But that is my opinion. What's yours? Should we understand or attack?
 
Charity

Charity

Let's go racing boys !
I like to at least listen to the other person's opinion and ideas before attacking :D
Since being on the forum I have learned to listen to others and I have been known to change some of my preconceived ideas on several things....
 
Jeremy Mason

Jeremy Mason

Well-Known Member
Ignorance breeds fear. Disclosure controls fear and in most cases eliminates it. The problem arises when people refuse to listen to one another.
 
N

Nessa

Color Me Happy
I don't think there is any value in defending our opinion or belief without understanding other viewpoints. But it's somewhat natural to go on the attack regardless if it's counter-productive to our enlightenment.
 
whereismynotecard

whereismynotecard

Treasure Hunter
That's why I try to stay out of debates. I know not everyone is mean, but so many people are, and I'd rather not even try to talk to someone who isn't going to listen.
 
texan1

texan1

Active Member
The good thing about a forum like this is that it allows you to take time to write out your full thought so that people can read your view without interruption. Can you imagine if these debates were done as a conference call? People would just start yelling and the loudest yellers would shut everyone out pretty quick.
 
zenzero

zenzero

Its only a Label
Friend Nikodemus,

Understand or Attack?
Click to expand...

When you understand the other then you RESPOND.
When it is a reflex action then it is called REACTION

Those who are aware or have raised their awareness/consciousness levels always *RESPOND*.
Those who react, take it is PROJECTION of the person and deal accordingly.
Love & rgds
 
ChristineES

ChristineES

Tiggerism
Premium Member
One reason (among others) I don't like to watch Bill O'Reilly is the fact that he constantly interrupts anyone who disagrees with him. I find that incredibly annoying. Dr. Laura does it, too. I don't listen to her either. My mother did it to me, which is probably why I hate it.
I think each person should be able to finish a statement before someone attacks.
 
whereismynotecard

whereismynotecard

Treasure Hunter
ChristineES said:
One reason (among others) I don't like to watch Bill O'Reilly is the fact that he constantly interrupts anyone who disagrees with him. I find that incredibly annoying. Dr. Laura does it, too. I don't listen to her either. My mother did it to me, which is probably why I hate it.
I think each person should be able to finish a statement before someone attacks.
Click to expand...

Nancy Grace also does that... She thinks she's an expert on everything. And also, my dad used to do the same thing. It was never any use discussing anything with him, because he had his mind made up, and wouldn't ever let me say what I wanted to say.
 
Nikodemus

Nikodemus

Heartstone
Willamena said:
Debate = attack. If we understand, really understand, then there is nothing to attack.
Click to expand...

I understand that you are trying to tell me that in order to debate we must attack the other position and that if we completely understand the other position we cannot debate it.

I disagree.

I think it is easy to understand a point and disagree with it.
 
FyreBrigidIce

FyreBrigidIce

Returning Noob
I have been guilty of not listening to what someone else has to say before getting defensive. I have also learned to listen more then talk or respond. I am still working on it. It's a work in progress and probably always will be with me.
 
3.14

3.14

Well-Known Member
would you listen to a nazi go on for 30 min why jews should be killed or do you start debating with him before hes done?
 
Stellify

Stellify

StarChild
I think one should always listen before attempting to argue. The only times I've caught myself interrupting the other person was when I had a counter-point to one of their arguments and didn't want to forget it. But I apologized for my enthusiasm and held my tongue lol.


3.14 said:
would you listen to a nazi go on for 30 min why jews should be killed or do you start debating with him before hes done?
Click to expand...

I think I would listen.
Not from any belief or hope that I could be convinced they were right. But every debate or argument has the potential for some kind of enlightenment. If not enlightenment for myself, then for them; I would hear them out and try to logically, rationally argue with them and get them to see things from my point of view. Hopefully the fault lines in the foundations of their belief that "Jews should be killed" would be made clear to them :D
 
Willamena

Willamena

Just me
Premium Member
Nikodemus said:
I see very little attempt by people in general to understand the viewpoints of one another. I'm not talking about here, necessarily, but all over. It seems we don't want to actually entertain the idea that someone else may have an idea or view that deserves some respect.

Most of the time I see people already forming arguments as they are being told new information. They don't even wait until the other person is finished speaking....
Click to expand...
What?! That's abusurd! I don't need to listen to any of this!
 
Willamena

Willamena

Just me
Premium Member
Nikodemus said:
Willamena said:
Debate = attack. If we understand, really understand, then there is nothing to attack.
Click to expand...
I understand that you are trying to tell me that in order to debate we must attack the other position and that if we completely understand the other position we cannot debate it.

I disagree.

I think it is easy to understand a point and disagree with it.
Click to expand...
I think that if we understand a point and disagree with it, we must question whether we really understood it to begin with.
 
Katzpur

Katzpur

Not your average Mormon
Nikodemus said:
Most of the time I see people already forming arguments as they are being told new information. They don't even wait until the other person is finished speaking before they go on the attack.

I have to believe that people who do that are afraid. Afraid that they have no ground to stand on or afraid that they are inferior. Otherwise it would be a simple matter to listen and then disagree in a rational manner, no?
Click to expand...
Sounds to me like you just hit the nail on the head.
 
Nikodemus

Nikodemus

Heartstone
3.14 said:
would you listen to a nazi go on for 30 min why jews should be killed or do you start debating with him before hes done?
Click to expand...

Oh I'd probably let him go on and on and on. Circular logic, which is what a Nazi must use to "prove" that nonsense, is only easier to refute the longer the person speaks.
 
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