Two men walk into a bar ...

[Polymath257]

A priest, a rabbi, & an atheist walk into a bar.
"Hey, did you hear the one about us?"

This actually happened to me! It was Halloween about a decade ago. I dressed as Jesus and went to a blues bar. When I went to the restroom, guess who else came in?

100_0191

 

[ChristineM]

A racist, a sexist and a bigot walk into a bar.
The bar tender says "what'll it be Mr president?"

 

[Neutral Name]

Buddha walks into a bar. It’s empty.

Ok, that one I don't get.

 

[Neutral Name]

A mostly drunk, blind guy in a bar, shouts to the bartender, "hey, my man... sh'wanna hear a joke?"

"Okay, why not?"

"Issh a blonde joke."

The guy sitting next to the would be jokster, leans over and whispers, "You should know, the bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6 foot black belt in karate blonde, and the guy over there, is a professional football linebacker, also blonde. And the dude playing pool, is a championship wrestler, and blonde. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?"

"Well... naaah. I do'wanna haff'ta hexplaine it like five times."

I'll have to tell that one to my blonde daughter.

 

[Neutral Name]

A racist, a sexist and a bigot walk into a bar.
The bar tender says "what'll it be Mr president?"

I'm laughing out loud!

 

[Thief]

Ok, that one I don't get.

if you're that empty headed
you and Buddha could walk into a bar
and it would still be empty

 

[Thief]

hehehehehe

sorry.....it was there

 

[Revoltingest]

A man walks into a bar in Texas.
He announces....
"Lady Bird Johnson is a horse's arsch."
The patrons toss him out on his ear.
He returns, & announces...
"Lyndon Johnson is a horse's arsch."
The patrons now beat him up, & toss him out again.
He returns, & apologizes...
"I'm sorry...I didn't know this was Johnson country.
The bartender responded..
"It ain't. It's horse country."

 

[Thief]

a Scot and a Bear enter a bar

the bar empties

the two of them point fingers at each other

 

[Thief]

https://youtu.be/a6yF

https://youtu.be/a6yFSjPT5TE​

SjPT5TE​

 

[leov]

Just found this in my emails -

It took me a while to "get it"

Two stumble out a bar. 'hey, Jim, what is that round yellow thing up there? "
"That is the sun, Joe."

 

[viole]

A rude man enters a bar in Shanghai and calls the waiter “Hey, you!”. And the waiter: “How do you know my name?”.

Ciao

- viole

 

[columbus]

Two stumble out a bar. 'hey, Jim, what is that round yellow thing up there? "
"That is the sun, Joe."

Ha ha!
I remember the olden days of my youth. When dawn came very late at night.
Tom

 

[Estro Felino]

A rude man enters a bar in Shanghai and calls the waiter “Hey, you!”. And the waiter: “How do you know my name?”.

Ciao

- viole

Is your husband there? Tell him this joke.

What is the name of the most famous Russian gay man?
Andrej Kojmaskij

 

[viole]

Is your husband there? Tell him this joke.

What is the name of the most famous Russian gay man?
Andrej Kojmaskij

And the best Japanese fitness expert?

Kagapoko Kifapokomoto

Ciao

- viole

 

[Estro Felino]

And the best Japanese fitness expert?

Kagapoko Kifapokomoto

Ciao

- viole

Ha ha.. I died
Poor Americans here...who cant get it

 

[Wu Wei]

@Revoltingest @Quagmire and @Wu Wei walk into a bar. The world ends.

As much as I agree that the result would likely be what you have stated...... that is 3...not 2.....well it is 2 men and a bear....but its still 3....not 2

 

[viole]

Ha ha.. I died
Poor Americans here...who cant get it

I am sorry for them, too, lol. Ok, another one then I stop (I could do that all night):

The best physiotherapist woman in East Europe:

Cholanka Sbjlenka

Ciao

- viole

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

A man walks into a bar, sees a tall beautiful woman, and says "Hey baby, you make my head spin faster than the Earth's rotation."

The woman says, "The Earth is flat."