1. Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Two loves...

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by gnomon, May 25, 2016.

  1. gnomon

    gnomon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2005
    Messages:
    8,877
    Ratings:
    +1,469
    Religion:
    atheist
    Are you there?
    I'm here.

    We need this from you now!
    I'm here.

    The wave arose above my heights
    And drowned me in their sorrow.

    I reached above and found the floating bottle
    An empty vessel full of hearts fallow.

    Upon this empty vessel I poured my souls need
    And in return the bottle provided a lost souls seed.

    The wave receded I climbed upon the shallows
    To find this strength against deluded hallows.

    At the dusk of hidden desires
    I found myself with new found strength
    But yet upon the dawn
    I struggled against the length

    A soft touch upon this shoulder
    Kneeling down afraid
    That there was one who could touch
    And break this complex braid

    Of two lovers one so near
    One ready to forstand
    Against the one so complex dear
    And willing to understand.

    Now two roads upon my breast
    One so full of fear
    I shall choose the road that leads
    To a love that is clear.

    Unbraid the past
    And understand
    Our desires we held so near

    But to feel again
    That embrace
    Of another with my fear.

    Now with fear entangled we have only to become
    To fear our hope together brings us hope as one.


    edit: Is this too corny?
     
    • Like Like x 5
  2. Terese

    Terese Mangalam Pundarikakshah
    Staff Member Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2015
    Messages:
    3,367
    Ratings:
    +3,076
    Religion:
    Sanatana Dharma
    I don't read a lot of poetry, but from what I feel it's rather lovely :)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. psychoslice

    psychoslice Veteran Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2013
    Messages:
    15,613
    Ratings:
    +4,133
    Religion:
    my own religion
    Just what I was going to say.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. gnomon

    gnomon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2005
    Messages:
    8,877
    Ratings:
    +1,469
    Religion:
    atheist
    Thank you both.
     
  5. Palehorse

    Palehorse Active Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2016
    Messages:
    252
    Ratings:
    +46
    Religion:
    Catholic
    A braid usually has three strings.

    I always give constructive criticism.:)
     
  6. gnomon

    gnomon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2005
    Messages:
    8,877
    Ratings:
    +1,469
    Religion:
    atheist
    You are correct! But I left out the other guy.
     
  7. Palehorse

    Palehorse Active Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2016
    Messages:
    252
    Ratings:
    +46
    Religion:
    Catholic

    To fear love together brings love as I

    GOD is love~hope

    Alot of people only love GOD, they forget the fear part.

    or vice versa


    Your poem isn't corny.
     
Loading...