Toxic Relationships/Love Songs

[SigurdReginson]

You know, just about every love song I've heard describes a situation that I'd hardly call healthy... It's usually sung by someone who is longing (simping) after someone. It's usually really one sided. Kind of toxic, really!

To me, a healthy relationship is one that both people work at. No relationship is perfect, and it can be a struggle for sure. Life is also hard, so it requires two people to be fully engaged in what's going on so they can tackle whatever comes their way as a team.

Are there any love songs like that?

 

[PureX]

 

[PureX]

Seems like it's when love goes wrong that it fuels the best results!

 

[SigurdReginson]

Seems like it's when love goes wrong that it fuels the best results!

True! Doesn't exactly make for a song that portrays love in a healthy way either, though.

 

[PureX]

We don't seem to sing about healthy love. I wonder why?

 

[Onoma]

 

[JustGeorge]

 

[Suave]

You know, just about every love song I've heard describes a situation that I'd hardly call healthy... It's usually sung by someone who is longing (simping) after someone. It's usually really one sided. Kind of toxic, really!

To me, a healthy relationship is one that both people work at. No relationship is perfect, and it can be a struggle for sure. Life is also hard, so it requires two people to be fully engaged in what's going on so they can tackle whatever comes their way as a team.

Are there any love songs like that?

Bruce Springsteen's song "Hungry Heart" pretty well summarized toxic love relationships I've had in my life.
"I've got a wife and kid in Fond du Lac, I went out for a snack and I never came back. Like a river that doesn't know where it's flowing, I took a wrong turn and I just keep going. Everybody's got a hungry heart Everybody's got a hungry heart Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody's got a hungry heart I met her in a Kingston bar. We fell in love I knew it had to end
We took what we had and we ripped it apart Now here I am down in Kingston again Everybody's got a hungry heart...Everybody needs a place to rest Everybody wants to have a home, Doesn't make any difference what anybody says. Ain't nobody like to be alone. Everybody's got a hungry heart."

 

[SigurdReginson]

Umm... I don't think love has much to do with what he's singing about!

 

[SigurdReginson]

Definitely a song about a healthy relationship! (As the band vs. the world), so props there! Not exactly a love song, though.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

 

[JustGeorge]

Not so much, unless you wanted to hear it that way. Which, as a kid, I always did!

This was always a sweet song. I think its a love song.

 

[SigurdReginson]

You just had to go the exact opposite way didn't you?

 

[SigurdReginson]

Not so much, unless you wanted to hear it that way. Which, as a kid, I always did!

This was always a sweet song. I think its a love song.

It's a good song! Vague though... Not really much about love more than it is about a feeling of longing for someone, though.

Is there really no love song about a healthy, reciprocal relationship out there? There's gotta be one!

 

[Shadow Wolf]

You just had to go the exact opposite way didn't you?

It's not toxic.
Fine.

 

[Secret Chief]

We don't seem to sing about healthy love. I wonder why?

Good news isn't usually news

I know you think I’m wrong, but I’m not your tour guide
Have a guess, I don’t let you look inside
Cold dry stone

What makes you want to carve your initials in me?
Rained and weathered, erasing, hard to read
Find me distant, outwardly rough, obscene
Cold dry stone

Cold and dry a stone
Cold and dry a stone

I’m not a cornerstone in a palace for you
Time will bring your very own hard truth
Not to worry, ice covered rocks still move
Cold dry stone
Cold dry stone

 

[JustGeorge]

But then, what really defines a 'healthy' relationship? What one would consider a 'must have' trait, another would consider oppressive(for example).

I think there are a lot of definitions of what one is supposed to seek in a relationship, but to me, it simply means both people feel fulfilled by it(though I think what people find fulfilling varies a lot more than we're supposed to admit).

But I get what you're driving at; most songs are about drama. But I think some of that comes from we are driven to emotion typically by things that move us... and what moves us when it comes to love is usually very agitating, either through painful or sexual experiences.

My husband suggested this one(I don't really know the song, so I take no claim either way):

 

[SigurdReginson]

Good news isn't usually news

I know you think I’m wrong, but I’m not your tour guide
Have a guess, I don’t let you look inside
Cold dry stone

What makes you want to carve your initials in me?
Rained and weathered, erasing, hard to read
Find me distant, outwardly rough, obscene
Cold dry stone

Cold and dry a stone
Cold and dry a stone

I’m not a cornerstone in a palace for you
Time will bring your very own hard truth
Not to worry, ice covered rocks still move
Cold dry stone
Cold dry stone

So glad these guys are making music again... RIP Layne.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

So glad these guys are making music again... RIP Layne.

I can't get into the new signer.

 

[SigurdReginson]

But then, what really defines a 'healthy' relationship? What one would consider a 'must have' trait, another would consider oppressive(for example).

I think there are a lot of definitions of what one is supposed to seek in a relationship, but to me, it simply means both people feel fulfilled by it(though I think what people find fulfilling varies a lot more than we're supposed to admit).

But I get what you're driving at; most songs are about drama. But I think some of that comes from we are driven to emotion typically by things that move us... and what moves us when it comes to love is usually very agitating, either through painful or sexual experiences.

My husband suggested this one(I don't really know the song, so I take no claim either way):

Exactly. Love songs tend to be about emotion- initial feelings of attraction. They don't tend to go beyond that into anything with more depth (at least, not ones that shed light on the relationship in a healthy way).

See, this is more what I was looking for. A love song where it's more about the substantive strength of the relationship rather than the purely emotional aspect.

Your husband wins!