Toxic positivity

[Vinayaka]

Toxic positivity is the idea that life is always great, that in order to survive, one has to be constantly positive, upbeat, chronically saying it's fine, all is good, etc.

Personally, I find people who do that rather annoying, as you can sense it's more a front than a real deal.

Here's a psychology article exploring why it can be so toxic.

Toxic Positivity: Don't Always Look on the Bright Side

Thoughts?

 

[exchemist]

Toxic positivity is the idea that life is always great, that in order to survive, one has to be constantly positive, upbeat, chronically saying it's fine, all is good, etc.

Personally, I find people who do that rather annoying, as you can sense it's more a front than a real deal.

Here's a pyschology article exploring why it can be so toxic.

Toxic Positivity: Don't Always Look on the Bright Side

Thoughts?

It seems obvious enough.

From my time in Houston, I do wonder if this is an American thing. There does seem to be something of a culture in the US of always being +ve. At one level it is very invigorating and energising and I admire it. However when I was there, I found in the end it seemed to me on many occasions a bit insincere and forced. I did wonder, in fact, what the pressure to be constantly upbeat was doing to people, inside. However most of my experience was either in the work environment or sport, and I did not get to know anybody really well in the 2 years I was there. So maybe I just got the veneer people put on to the outside world, rather than what they were really feeling. But I often wished some of these people would just relax and stop putting on an act.

 

[TransmutingSoul]

It could be a positive outlook on life embraces both the good and the bad to find a harmony in contentment.

Regards Tony

 

[Nakosis]

Toxic positivity is the idea that life is always great, that in order to survive, one has to be constantly positive, upbeat, chronically saying it's fine, all is good, etc.

Personally, I find people who do that rather annoying, as you can sense it's more a front than a real deal.

Here's a pyschology article exploring why it can be so toxic.

Toxic Positivity: Don't Always Look on the Bright Side

Thoughts?

Nobody wants to hear your problems. I don't want to hear people's problems either because usually people will tell you their problems but they don't want you to try and fix them. They just want sympathy.

My problems I process, I just don't process them socially. Socially, I think I come off neutral. Neither positive nor negative. We had administrative training. It is, we were taught, more effective dealing with people positively than negatively. At work we might even get written up for being negative.

So I process my negative feelings, just not socially. Never worked out well when I try that.

I don't like the positivity either but we are told that is how to motivate people.

 

[Heyo]

Toxic positivity is the idea that life is always great, that in order to survive, one has to be constantly positive, upbeat, chronically saying it's fine, all is good, etc.

Personally, I find people who do that rather annoying, as you can sense it's more a front than a real deal.

Here's a pyschology article exploring why it can be so toxic.

Toxic Positivity: Don't Always Look on the Bright Side

Thoughts?

Positive thinking = I've got this = Dunning-Kruger effect

Positive thinking is often magical thinking. It is ignoring reality.One can have a positive outlook on life without being delusional (except when the situation is objectively hopeless).

 

[Vinayaka]

Positive thinking = I've got this = Dunning-Kruger effect

Positive thinking is often magical thinking. It is ignoring reality.One can have a positive outlook on life without being delusional (except when the situation is objectively hopeless).

Indeed. I had an old acquaintance that was upbeat while his kids starved. Seeing reality for what it was would have been a far better situation. Fortunately (for the kids) other people, including myself stepped up. He just saw that as more good fortune falling his way. It was sad, and yes, delusional.

I had to look up Dunning-Kruger. Interesting stuff.

 

[Vinayaka]

Nobody wants to hear your problems. I don't want to hear people's problems either because usually people will tell you their problems but they don't want you to try and fix them. They just want sympathy.

My problems I process, I just don't process them socially. Socially, I think I come off neutral. Neither positive nor negative. We had administrative training. It is, we were taught, more effective dealing with people positively than negatively. At work we might even get written up for being negative.

So I process my negative feelings, just not socially. Never worked out well when I try that.

I don't like the positivity either but we are told that is how to motivate people.

Thanks for responding. I process mine as well, through understanding. Nothing worse than phony compliments.

 

[Vinayaka]

It seems obvious enough.

From my time in Houston, I do wonder if this is an American thing. There does seem to be something of a culture in the US of always being +ve. At one level it is very invigorating and energising and I admire it. However when I was there, I found in the end it seemed to me on many occasions a bit insincere and forced. I did wonder, in fact, what the pressure to be constantly upbeat was doing to people, inside. However most of my experience was either in the work environment or sport, and I did not get to know anybody really well in the 2 years I was there. So maybe I just got the veneer people put on to the outside world, rather than what they were really feeling. But I often wished some of these people would just relax and stop putting on an act.

I don't think it's just an American thing. I'm Canadian, and it happens here too. I have nothing against true positivity. Usually toxic positivity is combined with a few detrimental actions, unfortunately, like making false promises and the like.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Toxic positivity is the idea that life is always great, that in order to survive, one has to be constantly positive, upbeat, chronically saying it's fine, all is good, etc.

Personally, I find people who do that rather annoying, as you can sense it's more a front than a real deal.

Here's a pyschology article exploring why it can be so toxic.

Toxic Positivity: Don't Always Look on the Bright Side

Thoughts?

Nice article. I get what the article is saying but in one sense j disagree with it. Avoiding negative feelings can depend. Some are in denial that's why. But others genuinely can assess what negative feelings affect then and it's healthy to find ways not to feel that way. Saying it's healthy one must feel negative emotions also sounds like the other is used to bad feelings so much they are jelous (lack of better words) of people who just don't feel that way.

Does it get bigger? Only when someone is in denial. When someone is positive without being in denial say from grief they probably have a genuine hold on their life. Maybe exercise and diet works well and they find ways to handle stress. Maybe they see negativity as ways to learn and productivity as a means to adjust stressful emotions. It wouldn't bother me. If anything, I want to get to that point because I have too much emotions. I guess it depends on the situation and if happy people just have a good lifestyle.

Grief is the only thing I can think of that avoiding emotions may be detremental to ones health. I wouldn't discount people like that. I disagree the problem would get bigger. Why deny people of too much positivity? Do we want everyone to be negative as a reflection of how we feel ourselves?

 

[Vinayaka]

Nice article. I get what the article is saying but in one sense j disagree with it. Avoiding negative feelings can depend. Some are in denial that's why. But others genuinely can assess what negative feelings affect then and it's healthy to find ways not to feel that way. Saying it's healthy one must feel negative emotions also sounds like the other is used to bad feelings so much they are jelous (lack of better words) of people who just don't feel that way.

Does it get bigger? Only when someone is in denial. When someone is positive without being in denial say from grief they probably have a genuine hold on their life. Maybe exercise and diet works well and they find ways to handle stress. Maybe they see negativity as ways to learn and productivity as a means to adjust stressful emotions. It wouldn't bother me. If anything, I want to get to that point because I have too much emotions. I guess it depends on the situation and if happy people just have a good lifestyle.

Grief is the only thing I can think of that avoiding emotions may be detremental to ones health. I wouldn't discount people like that. I disagree the problem would get bigger. Why deny people of too much positivity? Do we want everyone to be negative as a reflection of how we feel ourselves?

We certainly don't want everyone to be negative all the time, and I don't think that's the point. For me, it's not so much about avoiding negativity, but about throwing out fake positivity when it's not needed or necessary. I do get and know really positive people who do look legitimately content with life. But this is different. This is the parent who rewards their child for every single thing, the person who ignores reality, and simply can't look in a mirror long enough to have an honest assessment of who they are. When you're constantly lying to yourself and to others, you're in denial. I see it in some 'religious' folk.

My father told me a funny story about 'the seconder'. He would fall into this category. Dad sat on a cemetery board, one of 5 directors. Five ol' farmers over coffee, twice a year. One guy, not that bright, but wanting to be friendly with everyone, would second every single motion that came around. Then they'd all have to have a discussion, and then actually vote. Sometimes hard feelings would be the result. If he didn't second a stupid suggestion, there would be less hard feeling, but of course he didn't notice that. The funny part (for me, hearing the story) was that eventually 'the seconder' became deaf, and didn't even hear the motions. So dad said from that day forward decisions were far easier and discussions were far less in number.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Its simple for me.
You can look at the glass as half full or half empty, and half full is by far the better approach.
But if someone tells you 'its full' they're either delusional or full of crap.
And if someone tells you to drink it, it's more important to know what's IN the glass than how full it is anyway.

There ya go. That's the sum total of my wisdom.

 

[Heyo]

I had to look up Dunning-Kruger. Interesting stuff.

If you are interested in such things you might want to look at Depressive Realism.
I found it after a heated discussion with the shrinks in the hospital. They thought that every depressive person sees the world in a negative way and all they'd have to do is correct the perception. (Which is correct for some patients.)
But, as it turns out, what we all didn't know at the time and I tried to argue from a very weak position, is, that some people become depressed because they see the world as it is and the "healthy" people just see it through rose tinted glasses.

 

[Vinayaka]

If you are interested in such things you might want to look at Depressive Realism.
I found it after a heated discussion with the shrinks in the hospital. They thought that every depressive person sees the world in a negative way and all they'd have to do is correct the perception. (Which is correct for some patients.)
But, as it turns out, what we all didn't know at the time and I tried to argue from a very weak position, is, that some people become depressed because they see the world as it is and the "healthy" people just see it through rose tinted glasses.

Thanks.
I think that's backed up by how many really intelligent people suffer from depression. Ignorance is bliss, as they say.

 

[interim]

This is evolutionary. We must think about life as something inherently good and even moral, or face self destruction / nihilism. Religious people seek this in gods, atheists - in science and society. If you ask me, they are both highly irrational and delusional. Being a better person rarely pays of, if at all. If you really look it rationally, IMO life is quite bad. So there isn't such thing as "rational" or "grounded" optimism. You must fabricate it, and yes, some can go too far. There is a good movie scratching the topic - The Chumscrubber

 

[Deidre]

Yea, it comes across as fake. No one is positive 100% of the time. No one expects anyone to be that way, nor should we be that way. Being real requires being vulnerable, and that is hard. Social media is all about putting one's ''best life'' up front for everyone to see, but there could be complete devastation going on in that person's life behind the scenes. I know a couple who are alcoholics, and are always fighting. In front of me, at parties, they are always arguing. But, on Facebook, they look like their lives are pristine. No one's life is pristine, and I hate the whole ''fake it 'til you make it'' nonsense.

Just be real. Maybe there is no positive or negative, just living and experiencing.

 

[Thief]

Thoughts?

yes.....I have them

annoyed?.....yes I am

there are people around me that nod their heads to ANY status quo

cow mentality

 

[Revoltingest]

Thoughts?

There's help for the condition.
The doctor in this news item is my brother-in-law.

 

[Thief]

omg

 

[wellwisher]

I think constant negativity is more toxic. At least positivity has a positive affect on the people around you. Negativity is designed to bring everyone down or make other take care of you.

If you look at the corona virus pandemic, we are on the other side now. The positive person makes this happen sooner while the negative person will try to delay this. Liberals tend to be more on the negative about everything. Their programming makes the good of life hard to see.

 

[Vinayaka]

I think constant negativity is more toxic. At least positivity has a positive affect on the people around you. Negativity is designed to bring everyone down or make other take care of you.

If you look at the corona virus pandemic, we are on the other side now. The positive person makes this happen sooner while the negative person will try to delay this. Liberals tend to be more on the negative about everything. Their programming makes the good of life hard to see.

So Trump's distortion of how the US is leading the world in the fight against the Coronavirus is a good thing? People feel so positive they gather in large groups without masks and social distancing. That's positive stuff right there.But I agree with you about the chronic negative person as well. Neither are fun to be around. A dash of realism for both ends of the scale would be nice.