Ties that bind

[VoidCat]

Just a vent poem i wrote a long while ago


Title: Ties that bind

I trusted you
We were close
But you murdered the child in me
I loved and love you
I wish we could be on good terms
In my dreams
I sometimes beg for forgiveness
I beg for your approval once more
I dream sometimes of you caring
Of your love and compassion.
But i wake and this is what I find
You abused me in the past until I broke
Then blamed me for your blows...
I was suicidal as a result
There was no escaping
Nothing i ever did was right
There were good times
That made me desperate for you to be happy
For you to be proud
You abandoned me eventually
Then when I did well
You complained and gave me no credit
I trusted you
You saved my life as a kid
You had good intentions
It seems
But did you really care?
When all you did was hurt?
I wake from my dreams and wonder
Why should blame myself for your wrongs?
Why must I feel shame with your actions?
We parted ways and that was for the best
I did nothing wrong,
Yet wish for forgiveness,
I still long for your approval,
I still wish the best for you.
Why do I still care?
It isn't fair.
The ties that bind
From childhood
From trauma and abuse
Cut deeper then a blade.
But toxic is toxic,
You can't change others
And burning bridges is sometimes best.
I trusted you
But that trust is shattered