We Were So Unbounded: Oh my gosh. Have you been peeking into my mind? This is so relatable it's scary. I love the ending, where the real world is remembered to exist.
Tara Lynn: I love it. The rhyme is so gentle, and the name so perfectly fits. I love that first stanza "Love is sometimes/ Too softly spoken/ To be heard/ Above the wind". How true! In the whirlwinds of our lives, in the tornados of all those things we think are important, we lose sight of those things that truly are. Gentle, quiet love is the sort that can often be overlooked. The second stanza, too, just tugs at me; it is the perfect mate to the stanza before it. My only quibble is the rhythm slightly falters in the third stanza; but that might be just the way I am reading it. Such a gentle little truth at the end there, too. Excellent poem, Sunstone.
The Cicada: I could just meditate on that first verse. You do a very good job in general in how you break up your poems and choose where to start new lines, but this one was just inspired: To separate the "I shall" from the "And shall never." The rest of the poem sort of loses me, but it feels very deep and earthy. I like the flow of the second verse, though I do not understand how the night becomes their silence. Very thought-provoking poem.
Whispers to the River: Well, it's not personally one of my favorites, but I don't think there is anything wrong with it.
It's just me being ornery. I do like the last two lines, and they seem to pull the whole poem together.
The Mists: I love it when poetry opens my eyes to things, and this was one of those. It makes so much sense, but I had not thought of it like that before. I think I agree with the sentiment that "No lasting love is ever pure"; but I'm not so sure about "Nor is true love always real"
Hands Remember: This one is just so intimate. I like the distinction you make between your left hand and your right hand.
Paula Crossed the River: Wow. It almost seems wrong to analyze this one; it is above me. The first two verses are like a contained poem in themselves, and yet they set up the rest of the poem, by describing Paula as she was, and what led her to her action. "And she was exposed" keeps ringing in my head: it is such an apt description.
I am intrigued as to what the "enormous bands" might be, but I feel they might be something akin to her strength of will or personality. There is such a disappointment and finality in the "Though at the last she got religion".
Your description of the soldiers at Andersonville is mesmerizing, and the parallel you draw to Paula is excellent. What were the soldiers without their salt? They were dead men. But they had also lost an essence of themselves. Just as Paula lost an essence of herself. Beautiful poem, Sunstone.
Tara Lynn: I love it. The rhyme is so gentle, and the name so perfectly fits. I love that first stanza "Love is sometimes/ Too softly spoken/ To be heard/ Above the wind". How true! In the whirlwinds of our lives, in the tornados of all those things we think are important, we lose sight of those things that truly are. Gentle, quiet love is the sort that can often be overlooked. The second stanza, too, just tugs at me; it is the perfect mate to the stanza before it. My only quibble is the rhythm slightly falters in the third stanza; but that might be just the way I am reading it. Such a gentle little truth at the end there, too. Excellent poem, Sunstone.
The Cicada: I could just meditate on that first verse. You do a very good job in general in how you break up your poems and choose where to start new lines, but this one was just inspired: To separate the "I shall" from the "And shall never." The rest of the poem sort of loses me, but it feels very deep and earthy. I like the flow of the second verse, though I do not understand how the night becomes their silence. Very thought-provoking poem.
Whispers to the River: Well, it's not personally one of my favorites, but I don't think there is anything wrong with it.
It's just me being ornery. I do like the last two lines, and they seem to pull the whole poem together. The Mists: I love it when poetry opens my eyes to things, and this was one of those. It makes so much sense, but I had not thought of it like that before. I think I agree with the sentiment that "No lasting love is ever pure"; but I'm not so sure about "Nor is true love always real"
Hands Remember: This one is just so intimate. I like the distinction you make between your left hand and your right hand.
Paula Crossed the River: Wow. It almost seems wrong to analyze this one; it is above me. The first two verses are like a contained poem in themselves, and yet they set up the rest of the poem, by describing Paula as she was, and what led her to her action. "And she was exposed" keeps ringing in my head: it is such an apt description.
I am intrigued as to what the "enormous bands" might be, but I feel they might be something akin to her strength of will or personality. There is such a disappointment and finality in the "Though at the last she got religion".
Your description of the soldiers at Andersonville is mesmerizing, and the parallel you draw to Paula is excellent. What were the soldiers without their salt? They were dead men. But they had also lost an essence of themselves. Just as Paula lost an essence of herself. Beautiful poem, Sunstone.
