Thank you, Dan!!! That is such a wonderful compliment!
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"Throw Your Rockets Far" and Other Poems by Sunstone
- Thread starter Sunstone
- Start date
Thank you, Dan!!! That is such a wonderful compliment!
Charity, you are so wonderfully supportive and encouraging. Thank you!!
Guitar's Cry
Disciple of Pan
Always love reading your poetry, Phil. I especially liked the raw sex...I mean, I especially like "That too Astonished Me," and "Silence."
Thank you, Mike!!!!
By the way, "Silence" was originally 110 lines long and packed with thundering metaphysics. But somehow that seemed to defeat the meaning of the poem, so I edited it down to four lines.
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Guitar's Cry
Disciple of Pan
Thank you, Mike!!!!
By the way, "Silence" was originally 110 lines long and packed with wordy and thundering metaphysics. But somehow that seemed to defeat the meaning of the poem, so I edited it down to four lines.
I knew it! I bet you used words like "Ephemeron" and "Agon" in it, too, didn't you?
Of course! Who doesn't use such words!
painted wolf
Grey Muzzle
I still have to read the rest but "throw your rockets far" is great!
wa:do
wa:do
I still have to read the rest but "throw your rockets far" is great!
wa:do
Thank you so much, PW!!! So I guess that means it was ok that my toes curled when I wrote it?
Love your poem Sarah
Thank you so much, Lawrence!
Troublemane
Well-Known Member
Awesome stuff Phil. Im glad the rocket one wasnt about Gaza. That was the first thought that popped into mind. (guess im jaded) :angel2:
Thank you so much, Mike!
I take that as a sort of sad commentary on the times we live in.
Throw Your Rockets Far: This one didn't click for me until I read that second stanza, and boy, then it hit me. I like the usage of names, and how you address the poem to Aaron, and yet the title of the poem seems to include all of us too. I suppose "rockets" can also be metaphorical, and thus, "throw your rockets far" could mean that whatever gets us going, do it to the fullest. But, I think I prefer the earthiness of a simple interpretation of this one.
Without You: Reminds me a bit of an Alanis Morissette song. I liked the (unintentional?) rhyming of "been" and "pen" in the first stanza and the flow of the last stanza lightens the entire poem up.
Who Comes By Far: Mm. I rather liked this one. Your characterization of the "end of the world" as useless is a bit shocking and wonderfully fresh, but carries the scent of truth-- something I find essential in poetic descriptions. I love the back and forth in the next two stanzas, and prominent light/dark, warm/cold imagery. Once again, that last stanza really just hooks me, reeling me in, and making me reread the poem once more.
Sarah: This one doesn't do much for me-- there's too many metaphors that I can't link up with reality. I noted that you said this one's about teenage sex, so I'm reading it with that in mind, but I don't know why the ringed naked man is silver. I assume the whole thing's about losing one's virginity to a partner who doesn't stick around, but realizing it's not the end of the world, and only nature after all.
Walking in a Coffee Shop: This one doesn't give me goosebumps (nor is it meant to, I think) and so I like it for its comfiness. I feel transported to the warm coffee house myself, and I can just smell that cup of Kenyan and I think of Greg (if not Don and Becky). I liked it.
That Too Astonished Me: Excellent title, by the way. I enjoyed this, and the way you were able to succinctly and beautifully describe this philosophic meandering. I don't know if I would describe it as "raw sex" in so much as carefully couched and masterfully masked sex.
Silence: Wonderful. It reads like a haiku, minus the structure. Once again, you've infused this creative idea with that sense of truth, which makes it both believable and a pleasure to read.
Thanks for some beautiful poems. I will come back for the rest.
Without You: Reminds me a bit of an Alanis Morissette song.
I liked the (unintentional?) rhyming of "been" and "pen" in the first stanza and the flow of the last stanza lightens the entire poem up. Who Comes By Far: Mm. I rather liked this one. Your characterization of the "end of the world" as useless is a bit shocking and wonderfully fresh, but carries the scent of truth-- something I find essential in poetic descriptions. I love the back and forth in the next two stanzas, and prominent light/dark, warm/cold imagery. Once again, that last stanza really just hooks me, reeling me in, and making me reread the poem once more.
Sarah: This one doesn't do much for me-- there's too many metaphors that I can't link up with reality. I noted that you said this one's about teenage sex, so I'm reading it with that in mind, but I don't know why the ringed naked man is silver. I assume the whole thing's about losing one's virginity to a partner who doesn't stick around, but realizing it's not the end of the world, and only nature after all.
Walking in a Coffee Shop: This one doesn't give me goosebumps (nor is it meant to, I think) and so I like it for its comfiness. I feel transported to the warm coffee house myself, and I can just smell that cup of Kenyan and I think of Greg (if not Don and Becky
). I liked it. That Too Astonished Me: Excellent title, by the way. I enjoyed this, and the way you were able to succinctly and beautifully describe this philosophic meandering. I don't know if I would describe it as "raw sex" in so much as carefully couched and masterfully masked sex.
Silence: Wonderful. It reads like a haiku, minus the structure. Once again, you've infused this creative idea with that sense of truth, which makes it both believable and a pleasure to read.
Thanks for some beautiful poems. I will come back for the rest.
I hear ya Mike. At first I thought it said "Throw your rockets at Dafar" and I thought, "that doesn't sound like Phil".
Good stuff Phil.
(why do I always miss the best parts?)
Love the closing line; "And a heart uncorrupted by fear"
That's what youth is. :yes:
Then none of us are ever young. We fear falling, innately, from birth.
Throw Your Rockets Far: This one didn't click for me until I read that second stanza, and boy, then it hit me. I like the usage of names, and how you address the poem to Aaron, and yet the title of the poem seems to include all of us too. I suppose "rockets" can also be metaphorical, and thus, "throw your rockets far" could mean that whatever gets us going, do it to the fullest. But, I think I prefer the earthiness of a simple interpretation of this one.
Without You: Reminds me a bit of an Alanis Morissette song.
Who Comes By Far: Mm. I rather liked this one. Your characterization of the "end of the world" as useless is a bit shocking and wonderfully fresh, but carries the scent of truth-- something I find essential in poetic descriptions. I love the back and forth in the next two stanzas, and prominent light/dark, warm/cold imagery. Once again, that last stanza really just hooks me, reeling me in, and making me reread the poem once more.
Sarah: This one doesn't do much for me-- there's too many metaphors that I can't link up with reality. I noted that you said this one's about teenage sex, so I'm reading it with that in mind, but I don't know why the ringed naked man is silver. I assume the whole thing's about losing one's virginity to a partner who doesn't stick around, but realizing it's not the end of the world, and only nature after all.
Walking in a Coffee Shop: This one doesn't give me goosebumps (nor is it meant to, I think) and so I like it for its comfiness. I feel transported to the warm coffee house myself, and I can just smell that cup of Kenyan and I think of Greg (if not Don and Becky
That Too Astonished Me: Excellent title, by the way. I enjoyed this, and the way you were able to succinctly and beautifully describe this philosophic meandering. I don't know if I would describe it as "raw sex" in so much as carefully couched and masterfully masked sex.
Silence: Wonderful. It reads like a haiku, minus the structure. Once again, you've infused this creative idea with that sense of truth, which makes it both believable and a pleasure to read.
Thanks for some beautiful poems. I will come back for the rest.
Thank you so much for your very thoughtful and helpful comments!