@Saint Frankenstein,
Reading the last few posts, and where you are in your thoughts at the moment, and also thinking about what Crossfire was saying about 'deity/mechanism', why not read something like Eckhart Tolle? (The Power Of Now).
Yes, I know he has plenty of people on forums (especially Religious Forums) that hate him and consider him a false prophet, but the fact is, his books are entirely based on what Crossfire was talking about; working on
yourself without any blind faith in a deity or mechanism. His 'outlook' is completely secular and can be summed up as 224 pages on teaching you how to stay present in the moment. There really isn't anything else in his 'doctrine' than that.
It could just be an inspirational read that helps you to feel better about your existance.
Personally, I don't think Buddhism will be right for you at the moment. To be honest, I'm a little tired with the 'perfect' religion of Buddhism; it has no central deity, but is MASSIVELY into the 'mechanics' side of things that Crossfire alluded to. If you start to look deeply into Buddhism when you're feeling depressed it can cause headaches!
...and can also be easily misinterpreted as a gloomy, depressing outlook - not what you need when you're depressed.
I'm reading "The Power of Now" at the moment and finding it a very refreshing read with some good practical things to try, that don't involve subscribing to a religion or bag of doctrine.
Just something to think about.