Things you learn during a zipper adjustment

[Wirey]

Thing the First:

Even a small stainless steel plate on your skull requires a big hole when they take it out.

Thing the Second:

Headache medicine is highly overrated. Morphine is not.

Thing the Third:

Hot nurses are really hot if they have to give you a sponge bath. Especially if you’re really high and funny, and they keep smiling and laughing. How they doin’?

Thing the Fourth:

Fat old bags look really hot when you’re super baked. Especially during a sponge bath.

Thing the Fifth:

The guy next to me prayed like crazy, and then died. Apparently, God is listening and will grab a good conversationalist.

Thing the Sixth:

Hospital Jello could unclog a drain full of hair.

Thing the Seventh:

You really learn who likes you and who doesn’t when you have to get someone to wipe your can for you for a couple days.

Thing the Eighth:

Dogs always remember who slipped them bacon on the sly, and greet you accordingly.

Thing the Ninth:

Doctor don’t find the “Can I play the piano” joke funny. Ever.

Thing the Tenth;

The sun on your face first thing in the morning may be the greatest thing in human existence. You’re not getting rid of me any time soon, suckers.


Ladies, I raided the drug closet and got 7 pounds of expired Chinese Viagra. How you doin’?

 

[sun rise]

Dogs always remember who slipped them bacon on the sly, and greet you accordingly.

Truth.

 

[Revoltingest]

You stay healthy.

 

[Wirey]

You stay healthy.

You’re not the boss of me! Oh, wait, maybe you are.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Life is one big zipper adjustment but with less sponge baths.

 

[Twilight Hue]

I heard about the Viagra thing.

Reminds me what I heard via cross talk that one unfortunately afflicted fella met this beautiful attractive nurse. Then came out the syringe, a tray , and a rather intimidating bloodletting needle.

She smiled sweetly I heard. The screams of passion that ensued afterwards.