Theists: Were you once an atheist?

[VioletVortex]

As a spinnoff of the thread created by @syncretic, I decided to create this one. For those who are currently theists, were you previously an atheist? If so, how did you make your journey from atheism to theism.

I was an atheist, pretty much from birth. My mom had tried to teach me some Christian stuff when I was a baby, albeit out of a cartoonist childrens' book that made me view it as a fairy tale like any other. I asked her questions about the clothes god wears and whatnot, but after that I developed and fairly strongly internalized the notion that religion is inferior to science. I thought of myself as a "normal, secular person". I did not learn the term "atheism" until I was 13, and it wasn't until then that I actively called myself an atheist. Through the heavy metal band Black Sabbath, I discovered Satanism, and it's two main braches-atheistic and theistic. I vaguely remember telling my friend that I was an "Aesthetic Satanist", meaning "one who is fond of the religion's dark aesthetics" after misreading "atheistic" as "aesthetic".

The next year, I discovered the Church of Satan website. After doing some reading, I noticed that the doctrine of the organization was in accordance with my own personal beliefs, and because I was drawn to the aesthetics as well, I became a serious LaVeyan Satanist, reading about it almost every day and educating my friends on it, some of who were actually quite interested. This interest gradually became more theistic, and a year later, I became a hardcore Theistic Satanist. That is how I became a theist.

I currently identify more with Paganism, however I frequently experience a desire to revisit Satanism.

 

[Mindmaster]

As a spinnoff of the thread created by @syncretic, I decided to create this one. For those who are currently theists, were you previously an atheist? If so, how did you make your journey from atheism to theism.

Yes, and it's complicated. Grew up Catholic, went atheist, then "LaVey Satanist" then what I am now - complicated. I guess take the "sense" from science and add it into a personal spiritual quest and maybe you get close. I don't see those positions at odds with one another, but apparently many do. (Hence, why I fail to consider myself a "LaVey Satanist")

Ultimately, it just comes down to the fact that conventional atheism just doesn't fit my understanding of my local subjective/objective universe. I didn't spend any time convincing myself that theism was legit, it arose from a great deal of exploration. However, I use the term lightly -- I don't feel that you should believe in things you cannot directly experience, I just happen to have strange experiences. Does that mean it's right for anyone else? Probably not...

 

[1137]

Yes. My atheism was almost a reaction to seeing flaws in my birth religion. I was suffering and so ceased belief in god, thinking that if that one doesn't exist none do. It was with my education, studies of psychology, philosophy, and religion that I slowly and skeptically returned to theism. Now I can hardly believe I once accepted things like physicalism.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

As a spinnoff of the thread created by @syncretic, I decided to create this one. For those who are currently theists, were you previously an atheist? If so, how did you make your journey from atheism to theism.

I was an atheist, pretty much from birth. My mom had tried to teach me some Christian stuff when I was a baby, albeit out of a cartoonist childrens' book that made me view it as a fairy tale like any other. I asked her questions about the clothes god wears and whatnot, but after that I developed and fairly strongly internalized the notion that religion is inferior to science. I thought of myself as a "normal, secular person". I did not learn the term "atheism" until I was 13, and it wasn't until then that I actively called myself an atheist. Through the heavy metal band Black Sabbath, I discovered Satanism, and it's two main braches-atheistic and theistic. I vaguely remember telling my friend that I was an "Aesthetic Satanist", meaning "one who is fond of the religion's dark aesthetics" after misreading "atheistic" as "aesthetic".

The next year, I discovered the Church of Satan website. After doing some reading, I noticed that the doctrine of the organization was in accordance with my own personal beliefs, and because I was drawn to the aesthetics as well, I became a serious LaVeyan Satanist, reading about it almost every day and educating my friends on it, some of who were actually quite interested. This interest gradually became more theistic, and a year later, I became a hardcore Theistic Satanist. That is how I became a theist.

I currently identify more with Paganism, however I frequently experience a desire to revisit Satanism.

I was born and raised with no religion and no belief in god. I have heard the word god before; and, we only went to church when there was a death in the family. Our family reunions were always a church sermon. In the South, that is basically the "get together spot" for many things is the family church or home. As a child (this was before sixteen years old) I did not know what christianity was about only that we saw family there and other people believed in god. Something that I wasn't taught.

We moved around a lot. My mother wanted to have the perfect family. She envisioned a full two story house and home, a white picket fence (no kidding), a labor dog, a boy and a girl (whom she already had), and a christian family. She believed in witchcraft and we believed in spirits; but, she was raised going to church so she must have strayed because of her upbringing.

So, she took us to a pentecostal church. We went to bible study and I, because I love writing, reading, poetry, etc, studied the bible (as they told us we needed to do). I was baptized to be a member of the church. During that time I've always wanted to be a nun and study the bible only.

We moved and I went to the RCChurch with my friend more often. I made the jump and became Catholic.

I was theist because I understood spirits of people (as per how I was raised). So, the spirits of people who died still live in the homes or places they died or attached to. Jesus christ is no different. Then as people were saying god-this and god-that is jesus-this and jesus-that, I read the full bible again.

I was a theist because I believed in the spirit of jesus and, according to roman catholicism, jesus is god.

After reading the bible and figuring out I didn't gell that a human can be a deity, all perfect, and a creator (which didn't enter my head at all growing up), I fell from the church.

When I realized jesus is not god after studying the bible, I went back to where I started. No belief in god.

Then I came to RF, thought about some things, and reflected on why people believe as these threads repeat themselves in theme. From experience, the spirit of christ is the spirit of brotherhood within the body of christ. When the brotherhood comes together and eat of one meal, they are experiencing christ. In RC, that means they are experiencing god.

I learned that god is an experience rather than a being or deity. I am an atheist because I do not believe in deities/gods.

So that's how I was an atheist, became a theist, then an atheist again.

1. I was born and raised without belief in any god/deity
2. I met a Roman Catholic friend who brought me to her church after my mother took us to have the perfect family
3. I made the jump because I wanted to be a nun
4. Realized that the spirit of christ is the deity of god
5. Two years of experience in the body of christ, I realized that jesus is not god
6. Jesus is the only definition of god I knew. So, now that that is mute, there is no god
7. I studied Buddhism and learned about everything coming from our mind and how we perceive things
8. I concluded the perspective and interpretation of god is no exception to this rule.

So I'm an atheist because I do not believe in deities. I do believe in spirits so I did experience the spirit of christ through the church. I was a theist because in the church, christ is god. I am an atheist because I know he is not.

 

[VioletVortex]

Yes, and it's complicated. Grew up Catholic, went atheist, then "LaVey Satanist" then what I am now - complicated. I guess take the "sense" from science and add it into a personal spiritual quest and maybe you get close. I don't see those positions at odds with one another, but apparently many do. (Hence, why I fail to consider myself a "LaVey Satanist")

Ultimately, it just comes down to the fact that conventional atheism just doesn't fit my understanding of my local subjective/objective universe. I didn't spend any time convincing myself that theism was legit, it arose from a great deal of exploration. However, I use the term lightly -- I don't feel that you should believe in things you cannot directly experience, I just happen to have strange experiences. Does that mean it's right for anyone else? Probably not...

I think that it is logical to fill informational gaps by theorizing about the unknown, of course one's theoretical beliefs should be based in what little objective knowledge may exist. For example, if we don't know what happens after death, it makes sense to suggest that we experience an afterlife of some kind, and maybe go into specifics as to how it works (e.g reincarnation), but it does not make sense to say that we go to some lofty realm with eternal piece and streets made of gold. That is just an outlandish fantasy. Possible? Yes. Probable? No.

I think that I have had direct spiritual experiences before, from sensing presences to experiencing premonitions, coincidences, and bad omens. I draw some of what I believe from that, but a lot my beliefs are mostly informed theory. The myths in Heathenry to me are symbolic expressions of spiritual and physical truth.

 

[VioletVortex]

Yes. My atheism was almost a reaction to seeing flaws in my birth religion. I was suffering and so ceased belief in god, thinking that if that one doesn't exist none do. It was with my education, studies of psychology, philosophy, and religion that I slowly and skeptically returned to theism. Now I can hardly believe I once accepted things like physicalism.

Certain religions taint theism for the intelligent, pushing them away. I have nothing against atheists, or individual people of any religion for that matter, but I think that many have thrown the baby out with the bathwater so to speak. They associate Christianity directly with theism, and because they have developed a dislike for the former, they disregard all forms of spiritualism.

 

[The Holy Bottom Burp]

For example, if we don't know what happens after death, it makes sense to suggest that we experience an afterlife of some kind, and maybe go into specifics as to how it works (e.g reincarnation), but it does not make sense to say that we go to some lofty realm with eternal piece and streets made of gold. That is just an outlandish fantasy. Possible? Yes. Probable? No.

Hmm, I disagree, I don't see why it "makes sense" to assert that reincarnation is possible/probable, any more than it is to assert that a place called heaven where everything is happy and smiley is possible/probable. Please explain your reasoning.

 

[VioletVortex]

Hmm, I disagree, I don't see why it "makes sense" to assert that reincarnation is possible/probable, any more than it is to assert that a place called heaven where everything is happy and smiley is possible/probable. Please explain your reasoning.

It's one thing to theorize regarding the existence and nature of an afterlife, it's another thing to look at a piece of dogma, or even inside one's head and suggest a bunch of fantastical specifcs.

 

[The Holy Bottom Burp]

It's one thing to theorize regarding the existence and nature of an afterlife, it's another thing to look at a piece of dogma, or even inside one's head and suggest a bunch of fantastical specifcs.

Hammer, that really didn't help. Reincarnation is surely a "fantastical specific" as well, just as "fantastic" as a place called heaven I'd say. I've heard preachers describe heaven as a place where people do nothing but glorify and worship the deity, as Chris Hitchens said eternal tedium. Reincarnation sounds like a more interesting experience, but I don't see any more evidence of that being true than a place called heaven. Sorry dude, it doesn't wash, and I'm not interested in stories about regressive hypnosis btw, I want meatier evidence than that.

 

[VioletVortex]

Hammer, that really didn't help. Reincarnation is surely a "fantastical specific" as well, just as "fantastic" as a place called heaven I'd say. I've heard preachers describe heaven as a place where people do nothing but glorify and worship the deity, as Chris Hitchens said eternal tedium. Reincarnation sounds like a more interesting experience, but I don't see any more evidence of that being true than a place called heaven. Sorry dude, it doesn't wash, and I'm not interested in stories about regressive hypnosis btw, I want meatier evidence than that.

Things like reincarnation or dimensional transcendence are basic concepts. Of the main forms of afterlife suggested, they seem the most reasonable. It is not like I am saying something outlandish like "We reincarnate aliens on another planet".

I might add that historically, most non-abrahamic cultures have believed in reincarnation. The fact that so many paths have posited it suggests that it is a more likely form of afterlife than transcending into another dimension. Most ancient European religions in fact believed in reincarnation. While the Norse, for example, believed in Helheim and Valhalla, these were in fact seen as transitional realms, where one remains until they reincarnate. Not much is known about the Germanic beliefs on reincarnation, but their traditions, myths, and rituals suggest it.

 

[Satans_Serrated_Edge]

Show me one instance of intelligence where no physical brain exists, then we can talk about acorperal deities.

 

[Terese]

I used to have a materialist outlook to life and the universe.

 

[sun rise]

There has been extensive research showing evidence for reincarnation. See the Scientific American blog article: Ian Stevenson’s Case for the Afterlife: Are We ‘Skeptics’ Really Just Cynics?

I'm not asserting reincarnation is proven fact but that there is evidence for it.

 

[VioletVortex]

Show me one instance of intelligence where no physical brain exists, then we can talk about acorperal deities.

The purpose of this thread was for atheists to discuss how they came to be theists, not for atheists to argue against theism. Otherwise, I would have put this thread in religious debates.

The world is an intelligence in itself, by the way.

 

[The Holy Bottom Burp]

Things like reincarnation or dimensional transcendence are basic concepts. Of the main forms of afterlife suggested, they seem the most reasonable. It is not like I am saying something outlandish like "We reincarnate aliens on another planet".

I might add that historically, most non-abrahamic cultures have believed in reincarnation. The fact that so many paths have posited it suggests that it is a more likely form of afterlife than transcending into another dimension. Most ancient European religions in fact believed in reincarnation. While the Norse, for example, believed in Helheim and Valhalla, these were in fact seen as transitional realms, where one remains until they reincarnate. Not much is known about the Germanic beliefs on reincarnation, but their traditions, myths, and rituals suggest it.

I feel obliged to point out that weight of numbers is no indication of plausibility or likelihood of being true, the vast majority of the planet used to believe the Earth was flat, they were flat out wrong (pun intended! ).
I'm not saying you are wrong, you may be right, but so may many others who posit a different afterlife experience, that is the problem people don't come back from the dead to tell us how it is! TBH reincarnation doesn't really appeal to me, if I come back as another person, unaware of the history and memories of my "current" life, why should I care? You might as well annihilate me, because "my" life is over, if I had a choice I'd pick continuation of living life as me, on this planet. Life is sweet being me!

 

[Sha'irullah]

As of a few days ago I was an atheist, I went so far to call myself an anti-theist. I tried finding meaningful religion while being an atheist and I just couldn't do it. As an atheist for a few years and to some extent longer I felt very uncomfortable with myself because I was never fulfilled as a person and felt extremely limited in what I could do. I was criticized by other atheists for not conforming to a nonexistent ideology and for not accepting the political elements of atheism which are also nonexistent. Now I just feel apathetic toward it all and don't bother with who or what I am, I will just continue being myself with no regard for labels.

Do I have utmost faith in gods existence? I would say yes but at the same time I am pragmatic about it and would rather keep it at faith and forgo any claim of certainty or pretend reason has anything to do with how I feel. I grew up having no interest in religion only to develop a sense of one and feel left out because of the void atheism causes. To me it is all about making a big deal about something that could be treated as very trivial.

 

[Erebus]

I considered myself an atheist for a while. Largely it was a reaction against what I felt to be the hypocrisy and destructive tendencies of the Abrahamic religions. In addition to Christianity, my upbringing had its fair share of Neo-Pagan influence too and I guess that's the side that stuck. The discovery of Pantheism effectively ended me calling myself an atheist and from there I gradually shifted more and more towards Paganism.

I still have a bit of an aversion to anything "white-light" mind you. Nature is as much about cholera as it is about butterflies.

 

[VioletVortex]

I feel obliged to point out that weight of numbers is no indication of plausibility or likelihood of being true, the vast majority of the planet used to believe the Earth was flat, they were flat out wrong (pun intended! ).
I'm not saying you are wrong, you may be right, but so may many others who posit a different afterlife experience, that is the problem people don't come back from the dead to tell us how it is! TBH reincarnation doesn't really appeal to me, if I come back as another person, unaware of the history and memories of my "current" life, why should I care? You might as well annihilate me, because "my" life is over, if I had a choice I'd pick continuation of living life as me, on this planet. Life is sweet being me!

Only a few Middle Eastern tribes believed that the Earth was flat. This belief was brought into Europe as a consequence of Christianization, and it did not remain there long.