The Vice of Effeminacy (Aqunas)

[Fallen Prophet]

In colloquial language, an effeminate man is a man who too much exhibits traits associated with women. And while being overly feminine in temperament can be a sign of effeminacy, in the scholastic tradition this is not what the word is intended to mean.

According to Aquinas, effeminacy is the vice of forsaking the good due to an inordinate attachment to pleasure. In other words, it is moral softness caused by indulgence. It is the inability to put aside what is pleasurable and easy in order to pursue what is good and worthwhile. According to Aquinas, effeminacy is a vice and it is opposed to the virtue of perseverance.

I think effeminacy is underappreciated as a problem, even in Christian circles. Indeed, I recall one Catholic blog calling effeminacy a 'forgotten vice'. And it is easy to see why in our times of unprecedented entertainment and distraction. I know I have been guilty of it on more occasions than I would like to count. Instead of spending my time in edifying study, or taking up physical exercise, or putting aside time for prayer; I have instead wasted countless hours playing video games, watching YouTube videos or lounging around doing nothing. Even though it is always in my mind that at any given time I could be accomplishing something of value, I have often instead shrunk from such aspirations out of an immediate preference for what is easy and pleasurable in the moment. This according to the angelic doctor is effeminacy and it is unbecoming of a Christian.

As for me, as a belated New Years' resolution, I take it upon myself to stamp this vice out from my life as much as possible. I want to put my time to good and worthwhile use. And while that does not mean cutting out all recreation from my life it does mean no longer allowing it to swallow up all of my free time. I have aspirations to learn multiple languages, to learn to compose music, to improve my physical health and of course to improve my spiritual standing before God. But to do these things I have to be willing deal with toil. I have to be willing to forsake immediate pleasures.

Interesting. I <3 Cait Sith!

 

[ADigitalArtist]

There's no such thing as "toxic masculinity".

You could believe it as long as you claimed that there is such a thing as "toxic femininity" as well.

You'd be consistent - but you'd still be wrong.

Neither exist.

Well you sure told me.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

There's no such thing as "toxic masculinity".

You could believe it as long as you claimed that there is such a thing as "toxic femininity" as well.

You'd be consistent - but you'd still be wrong.

Neither exist.

*Blinks*

You're kidding, right?
Although...perhaps you have a deep and nuanced view on this. I'll bite. How do you figure 'toxic masculinity' doesn't exist?

 

[Fallen Prophet]

*Blinks*

You're kidding, right?
Although...perhaps you have a deep and nuanced view on this. I'll bite. How do you figure 'toxic masculinity' doesn't exist?

There is nothing toxic about masculinity. There are toxic people. That's it.

Does "toxic femininity" exist?

 

[Fallen Prophet]

Well you sure told me.

That I did. Now don't do it again!

 

[lewisnotmiller]

There is nothing toxic about masculinity. There are toxic people. That's it.

Does "toxic femininity" exist?

'Toxic masculinity' doesn't refer to masculinity being toxic in some holistic sense.
It refers to certain harmful concepts promoted or taught under the guise of masculinity.

Masculinity...like many concepts...is an umbrella term which ranges in meaning. Many of the things I was taught under the guise of 'masculinity' remain things I view as strengths, and things I can build my concept of self worth around.

Other things I have been taught under the guise of masculinity have clearly been harmful, and I've seen these same things have even more impact on others around me where they are less reflective, or where they are overly reliant on others to establish their self worth.

As a simple, anecdotal and purely personal story, I was taught in no uncertain terms that a man had to take responsibility for those around them. I don't see that as toxic (some may, but I care little about general opinions).

I was also taught that men needed to be stoic, have a 'stiff upper lip', that they shouldn't show emotion, and that emotion was basically weakness. The same people who taught me this did not teach my sister or female cousins anything like that. This has nothing to do with my personality or circumstance, and everything to do with my gender.

That's a toxic representation of masculinity, imho, even whilst I can see some of the masculine qualities they instilled in me are NOT toxic, and are things I value.

I have no boys...three daughters instead...but even with nephews and friends boys I am cognisant of what behaviours I encourage. I remain somewhat unemotional in some ways. It's not easy to change that...but I don't need to perpetuate that needlessly.

 

[oldbadger]

In colloquial language, an effeminate man is a man who too much exhibits traits associated with women. And while being overly feminine in temperament can be a sign of effeminacy, in the scholastic tradition this is not what the word is intended to mean.

OK....... so there are effeminate men. There are all kinds of men, MB.

According to Aquinas, effeminacy is the vice of forsaking the good due to an inordinate attachment to pleasure. In other words, it is moral softness caused by indulgence. It is the inability to put aside what is pleasurable and easy in order to pursue what is good and worthwhile. According to Aquinas, effeminacy is a vice and it is opposed to the virtue of perseverance.

What? Thomas Aquinas the Dominican? Dominicans could be really crazy people, MB. The idea that pleasure is wicked, and to be frowned upon is really very very dodgy.

I think effeminacy is underappreciated as a problem, even in Christian circles. Indeed, I recall one Catholic blog calling effeminacy a 'forgotten vice'. And it is easy to see why in our times of unprecedennted entertainment and distraction. I know I have been guilty of it on more occasions than I would like to count. Instead of spending my time in edifying study, or taking up physical exercise, or putting aside time for prayer; I have instead wasted countless hours playing video games, watching YouTube videos or lounging around doing nothing. Even though it is always in my mind that at any given time I could be accomplishing something of value, I have often instead shrunk from such aspirations out of an immediate preference for what is easy and pleasurable in the moment. This according to the angelic doctor is effeminacy and it is unbecoming of a Christian.

I think that any kind of bigotry is seriously sad and wicked, MB, and some forms of Christianity can be full of that. Christianity can be a problem when it promotes these ideas, which might be how it is reducing so fast.

As for me, as a belated New Years' resolution, I take it upon myself to stamp this vice out from my life as much as possible. I want to put my time to good and worthwhile use. And while that does not mean cutting out all recreation from my life it does mean no longer allowing it to swallow up all of my free time. I have aspirations to learn multiple languages, to learn to compose music, to improve my physical health and of course to improve my spiritual standing before God. But to do these things I have to be willing deal with toil. I have to be willing to forsake immediate pleasures.

If you want to study then that's fine, but make sure that you don't atart judging other folks who enjoy games, fun, and their sexuality.

 

[Erebus]

In colloquial language, an effeminate man is a man who too much exhibits traits associated with women. And while being overly feminine in temperament can be a sign of effeminacy, in the scholastic tradition this is not what the word is intended to mean.

According to Aquinas, effeminacy is the vice of forsaking the good due to an inordinate attachment to pleasure. In other words, it is moral softness caused by indulgence. It is the inability to put aside what is pleasurable and easy in order to pursue what is good and worthwhile. According to Aquinas, effeminacy is a vice and it is opposed to the virtue of perseverance.

I think effeminacy is underappreciated as a problem, even in Christian circles. Indeed, I recall one Catholic blog calling effeminacy a 'forgotten vice'. And it is easy to see why in our times of unprecedented entertainment and distraction. I know I have been guilty of it on more occasions than I would like to count. Instead of spending my time in edifying study, or taking up physical exercise, or putting aside time for prayer; I have instead wasted countless hours playing video games, watching YouTube videos or lounging around doing nothing. Even though it is always in my mind that at any given time I could be accomplishing something of value, I have often instead shrunk from such aspirations out of an immediate preference for what is easy and pleasurable in the moment. This according to the angelic doctor is effeminacy and it is unbecoming of a Christian.

As for me, as a belated New Years' resolution, I take it upon myself to stamp this vice out from my life as much as possible. I want to put my time to good and worthwhile use. And while that does not mean cutting out all recreation from my life it does mean no longer allowing it to swallow up all of my free time. I have aspirations to learn multiple languages, to learn to compose music, to improve my physical health and of course to improve my spiritual standing before God. But to do these things I have to be willing deal with toil. I have to be willing to forsake immediate pleasures.

Putting aside the word effeminacy, I agree with you on some of this. Not entirely though and for different reasons.

Some forms of instant gratification certainly can do more harm than good. You brought up videogames as an example and it's certainly true that some games are simply bad for you. I'm not talking about violent games here, I'm talking about Skinner Boxes. Some games are designed not to be enjoyable but to be as addictive and exploitative as possible. You might have heard stories in which people spend thousands or even tens of thousands of dollars on a "free" mobile game. That happens because they're built in such a way that you can't progress without spending money, repeatedly and indefinitely in small enough increments that you may not notice the cost adding up.

Some games take it a step further and add what are essentially casinos to their games. Not only are you slowly draining your bank account, you might not even get the thing you wanted out of it. People with gambling problems are seen as an absolute goldmine to the people responsible for making this sort of game.

So yes, instant gratification certainly can be bad for you. In my opinion, that's not because it's a sin or because you aren't doing something productive.* It's because the industries who provide instant gratification don't care about what's good for their customers and at times are willing to actively exploit them.


*While I don't think recreation time needs to be productive, people tend to underestimate the value of some activities that are often considered unproductive. Continuing the videogame theme, I would argue that you certainly can improve your mind with them. Strategy, puzzle and management games immediately spring to mind here.

 

[Fallen Prophet]

'Toxic masculinity' doesn't refer to masculinity being toxic in some holistic sense.
It refers to certain harmful concepts promoted or taught under the guise of masculinity.

Masculinity...like many concepts...is an umbrella term which ranges in meaning. Many of the things I was taught under the guise of 'masculinity' remain things I view as strengths, and things I can build my concept of self worth around.

Other things I have been taught under the guise of masculinity have clearly been harmful, and I've seen these same things have even more impact on others around me where they are less reflective, or where they are overly reliant on others to establish their self worth.

As a simple, anecdotal and purely personal story, I was taught in no uncertain terms that a man had to take responsibility for those around them. I don't see that as toxic (some may, but I care little about general opinions).

I was also taught that men needed to be stoic, have a 'stiff upper lip', that they shouldn't show emotion, and that emotion was basically weakness. The same people who taught me this did not teach my sister or female cousins anything like that. This has nothing to do with my personality or circumstance, and everything to do with my gender.

That's a toxic representation of masculinity, imho, even whilst I can see some of the masculine qualities they instilled in me are NOT toxic, and are things I value.

I have no boys...three daughters instead...but even with nephews and friends boys I am cognisant of what behaviours I encourage. I remain somewhat unemotional in some ways. It's not easy to change that...but I don't need to perpetuate that needlessly.

So - under this premise - any bad advice (which is completely subjective) given to a male is "toxic masculinity"?

I -for one - have never been instructed not to show emotion - and I have never seen any male be instructed to do so.

Yet - if that same advice were given to a female - would it still be "toxic masculinity"? Or would that be "toxic femininity"? Does that exist?

Could it just be that both the sexes can produce toxic people?

The reason I care at all about this topic is because young boys who are acting like normal young boys are being instructed not to act like young boys.

Sure - not everything people teach children is going to be perfect - but those things that come naturally to young boys - which is essential to their development - is being demonized.

And many of them are getting labelled as "disruptive" and then prescribed medication. It is happening all over the place in the West.

Many aspects of masculinity - which have been honed by hundreds of thousands of years of evolution - and which have shaped our society (most for the good) are constantly under attack in the West.

It diminishes our young boys chances of growing up to be capable men.

The same is not happening to young girls.