The Ten Suggestions

[Goodman John]

I found these a while back in rummaging around the back alleys of the internet:

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1. Don't hump someone who someone else is humping. It's not only rude, it's dirty.

2. Don't take your problems out on other people. Other people have their own problems, and 99.9% of the world couldn't care less why your Underoos are all bunched up.

3. Don't kill people. Granted, there are exception like self-defense, but for the most part that's not cool.

4. If you ARE going to kill someone, don't say it's because God or Jesus told you to. You're full of **** and everyone knows it- especially God and Jesus.

5. Don't steal things, dick.

6. Don't lie, even if you plan on becoming a politician.

7. Don't go blaming God when your life sucks and then forget to thank him when things are going swimmingly. You made your bed so you get to lie in it. God doesn't provide housekeeping services.

8. Be nice to folks, even if they don't really deserve it, because it just makes them all the more mad that you're being nice.

9. If you're blessed with children, have the good sense to not screw them up. Plenty of time for that once they become adults and fully capable of screwing themselves up.

10. Find some time every day to appreciate the good things and the people who mean the most to you.

 

[ChristineM]

1, depends on concent of all concerned, its not rude and mist certainly not dirty

2. God one. Good one

3. Even in self defence you don't kill people, just make sure they cant damage you.

4. Schizophrenia of a religious base needs compassion, not thou shall not

5. Good one

6. Good one

7. Which god, and what if you dont have a god sitting on your shoulder?

8. Judgement call, some deserve being showed in brown stuff and will be better for it.

9. Good one

10. Do that

 

[sun rise]

That's a fun list.

 

[j1i]

thank you for the advices

god bless you

 

[Samantha Rinne]

Blue. Also looks like you reversed the order.

I found these a while back in rummaging around the back alleys of the internet:

~~~

1. Don't hump someone who someone else is humping. It's not only rude, it's dirty.

And it spreads STDs. Speaking of which, don't do anal. If you're gonna sleep around or have gay sex, have the sense enough to suck dick where it goes through the digestive system, not shove it in an orifice where your dirt comes out.

2. Don't take your problems out on other people. Other people have their own problems, and 99.9% of the world couldn't care less why your Underoos are all bunched up.

I'm not not sure I don't like the original Ten Commandments better, but this one's okay as a replacement.

3. Don't kill people. Granted, there are exception like self-defense, but for the most part that's not cool. If you ARE going to kill someone, don't say it's because God or Jesus told you to. You're full of **** and everyone knows it- especially God and Jesus.

Freed one up for you. The reason they have this one is because workaholics are insufferable.

4. Take some days off dammit. You can give whatever reason you want, but the best reason is "as an atheist I worked those other days they wouldn't work, now you ****ing owe me." Or "remember that time when..."

5. Don't steal things, dick.

Or if you do steal do it because you're actually starving, not because you're Paris Hilton or some other bored millionaire and need to feel some kinda rush. There's legal ways to do that like S & M, and stealing hurts someone's livelihood. Speaking of which, this was a commandment because stealing is not asking, and it's believing God won't help you. You should only really be stealing if everywhere you tried said no, and especially if you have other mouths to feed.

6. Don't lie, even if you plan on becoming a politician.

Especially if you plan on that. They do actually remember what you said. There are times when you can lie to take blame for another person though. But make sure that person isn't a total scumbag that will smirk as you get the chair.

7. Don't go blaming God when your life sucks and then forget to thank him when things are going swimmingly. You made your bed so you get to lie in it. God doesn't provide housekeeping services.

This is actually the correct interpretation of the third commandment.

8. Be nice to folks, even if they don't really deserve it, because it just makes them all the more mad that you're being nice.

Kinda weak actually. How about by as nice to them as you would yourself. And while you're at it, stop abusing yourself and putting yourself down. Loving others doesn't mean being in toxic relationships, it means TELLING them when they're doing something wrong (instead of just acting on it and having them just decide you're a meanie). And sometimes you have to walk away when they don't listen.

9. If you're blessed with children, have the good sense to not screw them up. Plenty of time for that once they become adults and fully capable of screwing themselves up.

There's a reason why this was phrase as "Honor your father and mother". Especially today, too many parents never say NO to their kids until it's too late, and they're hitting their siblings, taking stuff and trashing it, and killing small animals. You will screw up your kids in some way. But the best way to do so is to be a "my boy would never do that" parent, that covers even when they do stuff wrong. Watch Brightburn and tell me how that turned out. That mom. The dad kinda sucked too.

10. Find some time every day to appreciate the good things and the people who mean the most to you.

I suppose this replaces the "no idols" one, so it's okay. But I'd probably phrase it more of a commandment like like adding "Don't sit there in your room playing video games all day though. I mean, I like video games and anime alot too, but they're more fun watching them with someone you like/love. Which reminds me, get a gf/bf to hang out with if you're gonna Netflix and chill all day."

I think it was good the originals were commandments, even if some of them really weren't. Suggestions tend to sound too soft.