PoetPhilosopher
Veteran Member
My path to recovery in my mind, consists of 30% not being in denial of the progress I have to make and listening to instructions like on exercises to improve anxiety and so on and so forth, and the other 70%, in my mind, consists of giving myself a nudge every once in awhile toward improvement.
That being said, there are some things I'm not quite ready for yet. One of them is pursuing close relationships with those who expect me to help them just as much, or more, than they help me. Basically, I don't want to often carry a conversation beyond doing my half, and say I enter a relationship with someone, I'm not looking to financially support them more than contributing to part or half or a little more, the finances.
It may be selfish that when someone wants to get close to me, I evaluate whether their mindset is toward helping me or helping themselves. But years ago, I gave everyone everything, so to speak, and it pretty much destroyed my life.
I still wish people well though and hope that eventually, everything kind of clicks into place. I'm still trying though, considering I have reconciled with someone who seems to care about me, and that I haven't left RF despite having a pet peeve of being insulted, even in joke ways, out of context, by people I don't really know, and have kicked the idea of leaving before because of it despite it not really being in my best interest overall to do so.
That being said, there are some things I'm not quite ready for yet. One of them is pursuing close relationships with those who expect me to help them just as much, or more, than they help me. Basically, I don't want to often carry a conversation beyond doing my half, and say I enter a relationship with someone, I'm not looking to financially support them more than contributing to part or half or a little more, the finances.
It may be selfish that when someone wants to get close to me, I evaluate whether their mindset is toward helping me or helping themselves. But years ago, I gave everyone everything, so to speak, and it pretty much destroyed my life.
I still wish people well though and hope that eventually, everything kind of clicks into place. I'm still trying though, considering I have reconciled with someone who seems to care about me, and that I haven't left RF despite having a pet peeve of being insulted, even in joke ways, out of context, by people I don't really know, and have kicked the idea of leaving before because of it despite it not really being in my best interest overall to do so.