The Pursuit of Happiness

[Nakosis]

How do you define happiness?

I suspect what most mean by happiness is desire fulfillment. You desire sex, you desire money, power, some material object. Your desire is fulfilled and that happiness is actually a temporary lack of desire.

The problem is that there is no end to desire. Once one desire is fulfilled, another soon comes along to take its place. That moment of happiness, that moment of desire fulfillment never lasts long.

So when are we actually happy? That moment when we are without a desire to fulfill.

 

[joe1776]

I think the pain-pleasure function of our brains determines what makes us happy. And, I've determined that, for me, the knowledge that I'm a better human being than I was in past years gives me a feeling of contentment.

So, for me, moral progress is the goal -- and I still have a long way to go. . Contentment is my brain's reward for achievement.

 

[leov]

How do you define happiness?

I suspect what most mean by happiness is desire fulfillment. You desire sex, you desire money, power, some material object. Your desire is fulfilled and that happiness is actually a temporary lack of desire.

The problem is that there is no end to desire. Once one desire is fulfilled, another soon comes along to take its place. That moment of happiness, that moment of desire fulfillment never lasts long.

So when are we actually happy? That moment when we are without a desire to fulfill.

Peace of mind.

 

[Spirit of Light]

How do you define happiness?

I suspect what most mean by happiness is desire fulfillment. You desire sex, you desire money, power, some material object. Your desire is fulfilled and that happiness is actually a temporary lack of desire.

The problem is that there is no end to desire. Once one desire is fulfilled, another soon comes along to take its place. That moment of happiness, that moment of desire fulfillment never lasts long.

So when are we actually happy? That moment when we are without a desire to fulfill.

Happiness to me is peace in mind, and to see other people being happy and content with their life

 

[PureX]

How do you define happiness?

I suspect what most mean by happiness is desire fulfillment. You desire sex, you desire money, power, some material object. Your desire is fulfilled and that happiness is actually a temporary lack of desire.

The problem is that there is no end to desire. Once one desire is fulfilled, another soon comes along to take its place. That moment of happiness, that moment of desire fulfillment never lasts long.

So when are we actually happy? That moment when we are without a desire to fulfill.

As a taoist I would say that happiness is being at one with the tao: with the 'flow of being'. Nothing is needed, nothing is desired; to be is to be fulfilled.

 

[Left Coast]

How do you define happiness?

I suspect what most mean by happiness is desire fulfillment. You desire sex, you desire money, power, some material object. Your desire is fulfilled and that happiness is actually a temporary lack of desire.

The problem is that there is no end to desire. Once one desire is fulfilled, another soon comes along to take its place. That moment of happiness, that moment of desire fulfillment never lasts long.

So when are we actually happy? That moment when we are without a desire to fulfill.

This is one of the fundamental lines of thinking behind Buddhism. I'm not convinced it's possible to ever completely be free of desires, or that it's necessarily a good thing (what about desires for noble goals, like peace or an end to suffering?). But it's a compelling argument.

 

[PureX]

This is one of the fundamental lines of thinking behind Buddhism. I'm not convinced it's possible to ever completely be free of desires, or that it's necessarily a good thing (what about desires for noble goals, like peace or an end to suffering?). But it's a compelling argument.

To experience desire is part of the 'tao of man' - the way of being, for a human being. So for me to 'embody the tao' does not mean that I become free of desire. But for me to 'become one with the tao' means that I accept my desire for what it is: a part of my way of being, - an aspect of my existence, as opposed to a definer of my existence (or of my bliss).

 

[BSM1]

How do you define happiness?

I suspect what most mean by happiness is desire fulfillment. You desire sex, you desire money, power, some material object. Your desire is fulfilled and that happiness is actually a temporary lack of desire.

The problem is that there is no end to desire. Once one desire is fulfilled, another soon comes along to take its place. That moment of happiness, that moment of desire fulfillment never lasts long.

So when are we actually happy? That moment when we are without a desire to fulfill.

Happiness is internal; you're either happy or you're not. However, joyfulness is external and usually requires a stimulus. Most people tend to confuse being joyful with being happy.

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

I am happy most of the time. It doesn't depend on having things (although having them sure makes things easier). But what gives me satisfaction is when I achieve what I set out to do: make someone laugh or smile, to see someone appreciate a story or photograph I've produced, to spend time with people I like, to study and come to an understanding of something, to prepare a good meal for family and friends, to see little children, pets, and wild animals, listening to birds or people sing, to watch a sunset or sunrise, or the moon or stars, the wind blowing across the fields, to watch storms develop as they approach...

All these things contribute to me being happy.

 

[Nakosis]

This is one of the fundamental lines of thinking behind Buddhism. I'm not convinced it's possible to ever completely be free of desires, or that it's necessarily a good thing (what about desires for noble goals, like peace or an end to suffering?). But it's a compelling argument.

The problem of desire. Desire causes "suffering", so one is told to let go of their desires. However what is life without desire?

Desire is a craving for what you don't have.

So when you are tired, sleep. When you are hungry, eat. When you have a need and act to fulfill that need there is no desire.

If you act with noble purpose then what is missing? What goal is left to fulfill? Act in peace, act without suffering.

A desire and a need are very close but maybe not exactly the same.

Perhaps it is more about acting on what is needed and letting go of what is not. I may have a desire for material things, however for peace and happiness I find these things are not needed.

So I find/discover all of the things I don't actually need and let go of them. No desire.
That which is actually needed I act on, again no desire.

 

[A Vestigial Mote]

How do you define happiness?

I suspect what most mean by happiness is desire fulfillment. You desire sex, you desire money, power, some material object. Your desire is fulfilled and that happiness is actually a temporary lack of desire.

The problem is that there is no end to desire. Once one desire is fulfilled, another soon comes along to take its place. That moment of happiness, that moment of desire fulfillment never lasts long.

So when are we actually happy? That moment when we are without a desire to fulfill.

This list is going to sound corny, but happiness to me is:

• Bringing joy and the understanding that I love them to my family members. I routinely, and easily make what other people would consider sacrifices for them, make sure I bring care-free humor and fun to family gatherings (even if it is just nightly dinner together)
• Getting things accomplished so that I can better enjoy my free time and being alone to do as I please without any pressing obligation or responsibility
• Holding the belief (and what I would consider concrete knowledge, to be honest) that no one gets to dictate your worth to you. Meaning that you can make the active decision to treat anyone else's opinion of you about anything at all as worthless and inapplicable. You don't have to accept a single person's judgments upon you unless you decide to. It's to the point with myself that I generally can't give a damn what just about any stranger thinks about how I decide I want to spend my time, or what my views are that differ from theirs, or even what wacky thing I might be doing in whatever wacky moment. Embarrassment be damned. And if I know I've done nothing that I consider wrong, I don't even have to react with regret to even non-stranger's judgments and words of disparagement over their interpretation of the situation.
• Doing well at things. My job is nothing special, to be sure - but I am appreciated in my position, because I am very good at what I do. In my home-life, with sacrifice being one of my points of happiness - I also tend to do a lot of things to their full extent, or at least to the best of my ability, because I don't see the time spent as some big problem to be overcome. The product of my toil is going to be good... whatever time and effort that takes.

None of the above really costs anything, and the contentment or even happiness I feel is ongoing. These things sort of perpetuate themselves. If I can look back on a day and not regret the way I spent my time because I spent it in ways that can't be regretted, then that's awesome. For example - when my eight-year-old asks me to play and I then put something else off when I say "yes" - in that moment I made that choice knowing that I would never, ever regret having played with, and given joy to my son. How could I? What possible reason could there be? Because I had to do the dishes the next morning instead of that evening? Pah... thinking like that would make me unhappy. And I'm just not willing to spend my time doing things that make me unhappy.

 

[Left Coast]

The problem of desire. Desire causes "suffering", so one is told to let go of their desires. However what is life without desire?

Desire is a craving for what you don't have.

So when you are tired, sleep. When you are hungry, eat. When you have a need and act to fulfill that need there is no desire.

If you act with noble purpose then what is missing? What goal is left to fulfill? Act in peace, act without suffering.

A desire and a need are very close but maybe not exactly the same.

Perhaps it is more about acting on what is needed and letting go of what is not. I may have a desire for material things, however for peace and happiness I find these things are not needed.

So I find/discover all of the things I don't actually need and let go of them. No desire.
That which is actually needed I act on, again no desire.

I understand the jist of what you're saying, but in my life I've found that some unnecessary things have brought me great happiness. Watching a sunset isn't "necessary" by any stretch of the imagination, but man if watching sunsets haven't been some of the happiest moments of my life. Being in romantic relationships isn't necessary, but through them I've experienced love and happiness I never would have realized otherwise (believe me I tried).

So sure, eliminating superfluous materialistic BS from your life eliminates cravings that hold you back from realizing your full potential. But the Stoic method of just fulfilling your basic "needs" and foregoing all other desire fulfillment doesn't strike me as living a terribly full life either.

 

[Nakosis]

I understand the jist of what you're saying, but in my life I've found that some unnecessary things have brought me great happiness. Watching a sunset isn't "necessary" by any stretch of the imagination, but man if watching sunsets haven't been some of the happiest moments of my life. Being in romantic relationships isn't necessary, but through them I've experienced love and happiness I never would have realized otherwise (believe me I tried).

So sure, eliminating superfluous materialistic BS from your life eliminates cravings that hold you back from realizing your full potential. But the Stoic method of just fulfilling your basic "needs" and foregoing all other desire fulfillment doesn't strike me as living a terribly full life either.

I guess what I'm saying is there are needs and desires that we have to deal with. Once these are dealt with, we are free to enjoy life. To me, existence is happiness, whatever that existence consists of. Needs and desires are impediments to experiencing the happiness of simple, pure existence.

Needs for the most part can be left to the unconscious mind to deal with. So usually nothing there to get between you and the enjoyment of existence. Desires however compel a person to go about doing unnecessary things. You get to feeling that in order to be happy you need to fulfill this desire. IWO there's no desire that has to be fulfilled before you can enjoy a sunset. However some craving may prevent you from being able to enjoy it.

So do what is needed, let go of unnecessary desire, enjoy existence.

 

[syo]

Happiness... When we are in a situation and we ask ourselves ''What would Jesus do?'' And we all act with love in a big family.

 

[Straw Dog]

Happiness is one positive emotion among others. It may help guide us in deciding what direction to go. Negative emotions may also be useful in moderation.

Denying negative emotions in the dogma of ‘always being positive’ may actually result in greater suffering in the long term rather than just facing them in the present.

Nothing is necessary. It’s all desire. When a desire fails to be fulfilled, acceptance is still possible, since it wasn’t absolutely necessary to begin with. A combination of acceptance and satisfaction brings contentment over time.