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Featured The power of forgivness.

Discussion in 'General Religious Debates' started by Amanaki, May 24, 2019.

  1. Amanaki

    Amanaki sotāpanna

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    To forgive someone means to let go of it, and be able to live in the present moment, and not dwelling in something that happend in the past.

    But it does not seems like human beings are able to forgive anymore? Why is this so in your understanding?
     
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  2. We Never Know

    We Never Know Everyones reality is different. Be kind.

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    Yes many dwell on things instead of forgiving. One must remember forgiving isn't forgetting. Just because you forgive someone of whatever doesn't mean you forget it. You just moved past it, forgave them and move along with your life instead of letting it be an anchor in your life. That's my opinion.
     
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  3. Amanaki

    Amanaki sotāpanna

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    Yes you are right that forgetting it, can lead to doing the same again. But the problem in the world today is that people do not let go of it, example they still talk about WW2 as if it was last year. We must move on to live in present day, and not 70-80 years back in time. But ofcourse we take the lesson from it with us.
     
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  4. The Reverend Bob

    The Reverend Bob Well-Known Member

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    We don't forgive because we don't forget. We remember the harm people have caused us, so why should we forgive them of past wrongs?
     
  5. Amanaki

    Amanaki sotāpanna

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    Because as you say, it is in the past, Not longer with us. except for a memory of it. But the action is finish. And for people to get peace within, to forgive is the best "medicine" for the mind.
     
  6. sun rise

    sun rise "Let there be peace and love among all"
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    When there are echoes of the past in today's world, we need to maintain a historical perspective. That's not about forgiveness at all.
     
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  7. Estro Felino

    Estro Felino Believer in free will
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    As a Christian I believe that what makes our heart pure is to desire people's happiness.

    Christ said "we must desire the happiness of anyone, even of those who hate you or harmed you".

    The first thing I tell God every morning is "thank You God for giving me a pure heart"
     
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  8. Nakosis

    Nakosis crystal soldier
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    I choose to forgive others for my sake. I see no benefit to myself in holding a "grudge" against others. In fact I feel I should thank them for showing me a weakness that someone else was able to take advantage of.
     
    #8 Nakosis, May 24, 2019
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  9. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    It's not in my understanding. I've met tons of people who don't hold onto grudges. Yes, some do. My guess would be that the reason they do varies from person to person ... the pain was so strong it's just really hard, or no training in that area of the mind are a couple of reasons from the top of my head.
     
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  10. Amanaki

    Amanaki sotāpanna

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    As you say, it is history, we do not live in the past. we live now. So why hold anger or frustration over something that happend in the past?
    We know of the history of mankind because people have written about it. And example religious history or teachings are very important to understand forgivness, But a war can only teach us what to not do in a physical world, But we should be able to forgive the "enemy" from that time
     
  11. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Avatar Change Imminent
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    People are layered, and those layers hide our own inner workings. For a long time I confused low self esteem as a generous nature. I had the appearance of a good nature and knew what it was like to behave like I did. Forgiveness did not seem difficult, much like death does not seem real to younger men or doing a favor for your son doesn't seem difficult. There are actions we take which appear generically forgiving or good which don't reflect an inner practice and commitment. These can deceive us into thinking we don't need improvement.

    Another reason people have trouble forgiving, besides self deception, is that it feels good to be angry and right. Feeling good can be very important to someone who is not happy or who is in the habit of the highs that anger can bring. Anger can make you feel good, not just bad.

    Shame is another reason people can't forgive. All kinds of things cause people shame both deserved and undeserved. We are none of us truly independent creatures and need to see ourselves reflected in others. If our experiences bring shame, then they bring rejection with them. Our emotional intelligence and ability to differentiate comes into play, but a lot of people do not have a strong ability to separate false shame from healthy shame.
     
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  12. KenS

    KenS Well-Known Member

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    This is so true. And since we can't change the past, if we are still living in it (unforgiveness), then we can't change either being stuck in the past.

    That is why I so appreciate Jesus' parable on the King who forgave a debt a man could not pay but the man could not forgive the smaller debt of his brother... it says that the man remained in torment. Unforgiveness keeps one in torment as I see it.
     
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  13. The Hammer

    The Hammer Well-Known Member

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    To many external distractions, that allows one to never actually have to spend time "alone" with ones thoughts. Mindful contemplation is the first step to exploring the inner realms, and moving towards forgiveness.
     
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  14. Amanaki

    Amanaki sotāpanna

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    So true :) To be able to forgive others one must first be calm and mindful from within.
    Meditation is a very good example how to calm the mind
     
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  15. Altfish

    Altfish Well-Known Member

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    How does that tie in with your far right politics and support for racist parties?
     
  16. Erebus

    Erebus Well-Known Member

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    I'm one of those who has an extremely difficult time forgiving people if they genuinely hurt me. The best I can usually do is to not actively wish harm on somebody but there's never a redemptive element. Any affection or sympathy I had for them evaporates instantly and there's no undoing it.

    I couldn't tell you for certain why that's the case for me (or others who have a similar inability to forgive) though I expect at least some of it stems from my general dislike of people. It's very easy to reinforce misanthropy.
     
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  17. Estro Felino

    Estro Felino Believer in free will
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    Maybe we have divergences....but I like debating with you ;)

    I just have some convictions...as you have yours.:)
     
  18. Amanaki

    Amanaki sotāpanna

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    Even you struggle with forgivness, you do have a good quality in that you do not wish harm on them, even you do not feel symphaty with them anymore.
    It would be difficult or maybe wrong of me to try to explain how to become more forgiving toward others, So i will not do that :) But i do wish you well.
     
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  19. Vee

    Vee Active Member
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    Forgiveness is a very important christian value. Everyone does things wrong sometimes and if they genuinely repent and apologize, forgiving is the right thing to do. First because we too make mistakes, and if we want others to forgive us we should likewise forgive them, but also because it allows us to "turn the page" and move forward.
    Letting go of negative feelings towards someone else is such a good feeling. So much better than holding grudges and being emotionally intoxicated by bleak thoughts.
    I recon that some things are very difficult to forgive and even harder to forget, if at all possible. It takes time and a lot of work.
     
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  20. The Reverend Bob

    The Reverend Bob Well-Known Member

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    That is when I forgive, when I see a change in behavior and genuine remorse for the wrongs they did. It isn't always wise to forgive a person of their wrong because if we keep forgiving and they never change then they never learn that there are consequences to their words and action. That sort of forgiveness is a form of cruelty.
     
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