Karl R
Active Member
A young priest was getting prepared to lead his first mass, but his fear of public speaking was dominating his thoughts.
The young priest went to an old priest in his parish for some advice. "Father," he asked, "I'm terrified of speaking in public, and I'm about to lead my first mass. What should I do?"
The old priest looked at the young priest and said, "When I was your age, I was terrified of preaching too. Another priest gave me some advice, and now I'll pass that advice on to you.
"While preaching, I keep a glass on the pulpit next to me, but the glass is filled with vodka instead of water. Every time my nerves get the best of me, I take a sip of vodka to steady them."
The young priest followed old priest's advice, and preached like he'd never imagined that he'd be able to.
After the mass, he sought out the old priest. "Father," the young priest exclaimed, bubbling with elation, "how did I do?"
"I have a few pieces of advice," The old priest cautiously replied.
"First, sip the vodka, don't gulp it.
"Second, there are ten commandments, not twelve.
"There were twelve apostles, not ten.
"It's customary to say Jesus and his disciples, not J.C. and the boys.
"We traditionally refer to the trinity as the father, son, and holy spirit, not as big daddy, junior, and the spook.
"And you should refer to the mother of christ as the blessed virgin, not Mary with the cherry."
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Disclaimer: This joke is not original. I heard it years ago from a source that I can no longer recall.
My apologies if someone has posted this joke before.
The young priest went to an old priest in his parish for some advice. "Father," he asked, "I'm terrified of speaking in public, and I'm about to lead my first mass. What should I do?"
The old priest looked at the young priest and said, "When I was your age, I was terrified of preaching too. Another priest gave me some advice, and now I'll pass that advice on to you.
"While preaching, I keep a glass on the pulpit next to me, but the glass is filled with vodka instead of water. Every time my nerves get the best of me, I take a sip of vodka to steady them."
The young priest followed old priest's advice, and preached like he'd never imagined that he'd be able to.
After the mass, he sought out the old priest. "Father," the young priest exclaimed, bubbling with elation, "how did I do?"
"I have a few pieces of advice," The old priest cautiously replied.
"First, sip the vodka, don't gulp it.
"Second, there are ten commandments, not twelve.
"There were twelve apostles, not ten.
"It's customary to say Jesus and his disciples, not J.C. and the boys.
"We traditionally refer to the trinity as the father, son, and holy spirit, not as big daddy, junior, and the spook.
"And you should refer to the mother of christ as the blessed virgin, not Mary with the cherry."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: This joke is not original. I heard it years ago from a source that I can no longer recall.
My apologies if someone has posted this joke before.
HAHAHAHA!!!! But he's never been "drunk" like that. It would be funny though. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!