johnnys4life
Pro-life Mommy
I figured since men have one, women should have one too.
1. I have the right to change my mind at any time, for any reason, about anything, without any notice.
2. I have the power to turn men into slobbering idiots with one wink, one word, or merely by my choice of outfit. Whether or not I choose to use this power, and if so when, is entirely up to me.
3. I have the privelage to express my sadness and frustration openly, with tears, without fear of being called a pansy. If I choose to do so, I am more than likely going to be comforted instead of ridiculed.
4. I have the right to be as physically weak, slow, and non-muscular as I want without fear of being referred to as a wimp or having my feminity called into question.
5. Should I decide that the work-world is not for me, I can easily find a man who agrees that I would be better off at home, having fun with my kids, while he goes out and works 12 hours a day at a job he hates.
6. I have the right to join a feminist league and have everyone tell me that I am the superior sex, without being called a sexist.
7. I can hug, hold hands with, and say I love you to other women without having my feminity called into question, and without fear of offending the other woman.
8. I have the right to expect men to open doors, pull out chairs, and offer me their coats when it's cold out.
9. One phrase: Women and children first.
10. I will never be expected to serve in the military against my wishes by an overbearing father. In fact, should a draft take place, I am very unlikely to be drafted.
11. I have the right to admit when I've been wronged by a man, without fear of having my feminity called into question. Should I be physically, emotionally, or sexually abused by a man in any way, there are dozens upon dozens of organizations who are specifically in place to fight for me, listen to me, and house me when necessary. I also reserve the right to go on Oprah and publicly embarrass anyone I feel has wronged me in any way, with the assurance that I will be recieved as innocent and honest, whether I am or not.
12. Should I divorce a man, I am more than likely able to recieve alimony from him, regardless of my kindness and/or faithfullness as a wife.
13. Should I divorce a man with whom I've had children, I am more than likely to recieve custody of said children, regardless of my parenting abilities and finances.
14. As a child I was told that I was beautiful, cute and sweet. I could wear any color I wanted without fear of insult.
15. I have the right to accuse anyone of sexual harrassment, at any time, for any reason. I make up the definition of sexual harrassment, and this definition may change depending on the person and whether I like him or not.
16. I reserve the right to blame any cruel, rude, or unrestrainedly angry remark I make about anyone on my "time of month". This is true regardless of what time of month it actually is.
17. Should I take a job that is traditionally peopled by those of the opposite sex, I will be thought of as a credit to my gender by many, and no one will assume I am gay.
18. I reserve the right to call anyone "sexist" for any reason, based upon my own definition of the term.
19. If I decide to do something in the name of feminism, most people will assume I have the interests of all women at heart, even if I don't.
20. If I decide that I am never going to do any dirty work at home or otherwise, (ie: auto repair, taking the trash out, plumbing, roof repair, lawn maintenance, anything that requires hieghts or heavy lifting, etcetera) I will more than likely get away with it and always find a man willing to do it for me.
If any one has anything they'd like to add to this list, please feel encouraged to do so.
1. I have the right to change my mind at any time, for any reason, about anything, without any notice.
2. I have the power to turn men into slobbering idiots with one wink, one word, or merely by my choice of outfit. Whether or not I choose to use this power, and if so when, is entirely up to me.
3. I have the privelage to express my sadness and frustration openly, with tears, without fear of being called a pansy. If I choose to do so, I am more than likely going to be comforted instead of ridiculed.
4. I have the right to be as physically weak, slow, and non-muscular as I want without fear of being referred to as a wimp or having my feminity called into question.
5. Should I decide that the work-world is not for me, I can easily find a man who agrees that I would be better off at home, having fun with my kids, while he goes out and works 12 hours a day at a job he hates.
6. I have the right to join a feminist league and have everyone tell me that I am the superior sex, without being called a sexist.
7. I can hug, hold hands with, and say I love you to other women without having my feminity called into question, and without fear of offending the other woman.
8. I have the right to expect men to open doors, pull out chairs, and offer me their coats when it's cold out.
9. One phrase: Women and children first.
10. I will never be expected to serve in the military against my wishes by an overbearing father. In fact, should a draft take place, I am very unlikely to be drafted.
11. I have the right to admit when I've been wronged by a man, without fear of having my feminity called into question. Should I be physically, emotionally, or sexually abused by a man in any way, there are dozens upon dozens of organizations who are specifically in place to fight for me, listen to me, and house me when necessary. I also reserve the right to go on Oprah and publicly embarrass anyone I feel has wronged me in any way, with the assurance that I will be recieved as innocent and honest, whether I am or not.
12. Should I divorce a man, I am more than likely able to recieve alimony from him, regardless of my kindness and/or faithfullness as a wife.
13. Should I divorce a man with whom I've had children, I am more than likely to recieve custody of said children, regardless of my parenting abilities and finances.
14. As a child I was told that I was beautiful, cute and sweet. I could wear any color I wanted without fear of insult.
15. I have the right to accuse anyone of sexual harrassment, at any time, for any reason. I make up the definition of sexual harrassment, and this definition may change depending on the person and whether I like him or not.
16. I reserve the right to blame any cruel, rude, or unrestrainedly angry remark I make about anyone on my "time of month". This is true regardless of what time of month it actually is.
17. Should I take a job that is traditionally peopled by those of the opposite sex, I will be thought of as a credit to my gender by many, and no one will assume I am gay.
18. I reserve the right to call anyone "sexist" for any reason, based upon my own definition of the term.
19. If I decide to do something in the name of feminism, most people will assume I have the interests of all women at heart, even if I don't.
20. If I decide that I am never going to do any dirty work at home or otherwise, (ie: auto repair, taking the trash out, plumbing, roof repair, lawn maintenance, anything that requires hieghts or heavy lifting, etcetera) I will more than likely get away with it and always find a man willing to do it for me.
If any one has anything they'd like to add to this list, please feel encouraged to do so.
