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The Dating Game

Discussion in 'General Debates' started by AT-AT, Jun 19, 2019.

  1. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    I'm neither a virgin nor an absolute alpha male. But I think unlike pure friendship, dating in terms of the first few dates is kind of a game, and a game that when won by 100% honest playing and being just yourself, is often won by chance.

    The goals of the game are to 1. Have them feel an emotional investment in you, 2. Except in cases of celibate relationships, initiate intimacy at the right time.

    What do you think? Am I right? Am I wrong and a jerk? Am I right and a jerk?
     
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  2. Enoch07

    Enoch07 It's all a sick freaking joke.
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    I think you summed up dating in today's age well. Basically it is futile. :shrug:

    I recently had a close friend set me up with one of her close friends. This blind date was supposed to be a Christian girl who was always mistreated by men etc, and I would be a perfect match for her and exactly what she needed.

    Long story short, a week after we started dating I caught her smoking meth amongst other things, with someone I grew up with. Almost nobody is honest anymore. Needless to say I walked away.

    Everyone is playing a game/has an angle. It's just a p00py world.:shrug:
     
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  3. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    Lately my opinions have taken a more rough, less fluffy turn. I might have to use that here again in giving some honest advice: High amounts of morality or high expectations of the morals of the other side, also get in the way of dating. Chances are as you are eating spaghetti with the person, they are already thinking "Would I be comfortable with this person in bed?"

    Just how I feel.
     
  4. Enoch07

    Enoch07 It's all a sick freaking joke.
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    Well it depends.

    If a blind date is supposed to be amongst Christian's and each know this. Then high morality is not only expected, but required. Nothing worse than a wannabe just pretending so they can virtue signal. It might hide the fact they are a pos on the outside, but it doesn't change who they are.

    If in set up on a blond date with someone who doesn't have religious beliefs then I know it's a more relaxed vibe. This is acceptable. An ugly truth is more favorable than a beautiful lie in my book.
     
  5. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    Eh. Tail is tail.
     
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  6. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    *gets out notebook*
    Carry on, dont mind me.
     
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  7. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist
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    One should probably avoid meth users... just sayin
     
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  8. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    In my personal experience, its reason enough to question and doubt their morality. Theres nothing about being Christian that wards that off, and generally the louder and bolder they are about being Christian the worse of a time they might give me. "Its all relative to the size of your steeple" is how Marilyn Manson put it. "You cant see the forest, for the trees. And you cant smell your own **** on your knees." We non-Christians do have a way of getting to see how very antithetical to Christianity many Christians are, and we get to see it clearly. Y'all are just people too, and if you raise the bar too high (meth smoking obviously isnt) no one will pass.(Id be more curious about those who set you up with her)
     
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  9. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    Thats a trail best left alone. That one I do have experience dealing with. After family, no way am I willingly letting a meth head in my life (and you really dont know where theyve been or what theyve done for a fix).
     
  10. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    I see. One of the best friends I ever had, experimented with some heavy stuff in an area where I believe it was legal. Online friend. That man had such deep patience. But I guess that's outside of the norm.
     
  11. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist
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    @Enoch07 ( and others ): what are some other dating horror stories you can share?

    If the OP approves... of course...:oops:
     
    #11 dybmh, Jun 19, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2019
  12. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    IRL, there is a massive potential to be drug down and along with them, even if you dont use. Family, really good friends, and clients you work with are pretty much the only time its worth being there for them on that path, because its an emotional storm for all involved.
     
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  13. Unguru

    Unguru I am a Sikh nice to meet you

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    It is essentially: Person A creates a character for Person B to enjoy, Person B creates a character for Person A to enjoy, they both date and fall in love with each other's fictional characters, maybe even have a child, then they realize that each other actually are not the characters that they fell in love with, then Person A and Person B grow to resent each other. If they don't divorce at some point, they have a salty marriage till one of them dies, then the remaining partner hooks up with someone else when in their 60s and dies a decade later.
     
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  14. Enoch07

    Enoch07 It's all a sick freaking joke.
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    I agree with most of what you said, especially about the high expectations, you speak truth there. But I don't consider a honesty too high of a bar. I really don't have that high of requirements for someone to date. Especially if honesty one of their top priorities. I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, have many flaws myself. I can accept and deal with most flaws, so long as I know them upfront.

    As far as the one that set me up with her, she is innocent in all this. She believed her friends lies just as much as I did.

    Mostly what got this girl caught was she tagged herself hanging out with a certain guy on FB. Well little did she know I grew up with this guy, and I know all of his methods, as he has bragged about them to me himself.

    He is one of these types that like to get a gal drunk/high/ruffied/whatevs then take advantage of them. Because of various physical reasons and lack of skill in the ways of women. Yah I said it, he got a micro peen, rotted teeth, and he is a 1 minute man all rolled into one. So without knocking them unconscious or getting them strung out on dope he is fairly repulsive.

    Just to give you an example about how I feel about honesty and what I am able to accept with honesty.

    I would date a trans girl if I had prior knowledge before "bedroom time". I might be taken a bit back if I get hit with that surprise unexpectedly. But with knowledge before hand, doesn't bother me one bit.

    There is so much more to people than just their physical form, attractiveness, or sex. That's granted we got along on a friendship level etc of course. Just like with any other relatonship. I guess that makes me a sapiosexual. :shrug:Though I am attracted to more feminine qualities. Masculinity doesn't do anything for me, I got enough of that already, don't need anymore. :p
     
  15. Enoch07

    Enoch07 It's all a sick freaking joke.
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    Hmm well there was my bi-polar schizo fiance in Germany. She wasn't diagnosed at the time.

    Long story short.

    We had gone through a rough patch a few months prior. But worked things out and carried on super happy. But anyways..

    One morning we woke up, it was the weekend. She got on the computer to play World of Warcraft, I offered to make breakfast. So off I went. Made cheese toast for both of us, and brewed up a cup of her lemon tea she loved so much.

    So I came into the office. Sat her tea down in the designated place on a coaster. Sat her saucer with her food on it next to it. Didn't say a single word to her, as this was her time to decompress. I turned to leave the room, made it to the door. Then "ziiiiiing" past my ear. As a saucer exploded on the door. It came so close to my ear I could hear the porcelin vibrating because she put that much spin on it!

    I turned around to see her blood red, foaming at the mouth basically. Needless to say an argument began. Lots of loud words and blah blah blah. Well in my frustration a bit of spittle escaped my lips and landed on her face (unintentionally of course). To which she accused me of spitting in her face etc. Which only escalated the situation.

    So I tried to leave because she was being irrational.

    She grabs me by one shoulder, turns me around then socks me. Gave me a black eye in fact. Unfortunately "the red curtain" fell at this point and I went into fight or flight mode. Grabbed her by the throat lifted her 3 feet off the ground and told her if she ever hit me again she would regret it. Then I dropped her, grabbed my things and left the house.

    3 hours later she found me walking in some random corn field near Nuremberg begging me to come back. In which I did like a fool. Luckily there never was anymore physical incidents between us. Other than her slamming doors, breaking windows, and wrecking her car once on purpose to prove a point. But yeah crazy time with her!
     
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  16. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist
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    Crazy time, bro... yikes.
     
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  17. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    Honesty is needed and should be expected, Christian or otherwise, but what can you really expect if you don't know the person? Even Bill Cosby managed to shock the world.
     
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  18. Enoch07

    Enoch07 It's all a sick freaking joke.
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    Dated a different meth head chick once. Of course she was a recovering addict, not using at the time. We had been up all night drinking whiskey, dancing to music, kissing, light fondling etc. Then at 5am she called the local sheriff's office to find out of she had to report in that day for a drug/alchohol test, in which they told her no. So she was like "Hell yeah we can really let loose now!" I told her that its 5am, her 2 daughters (11 &15) were going to wake up at 6am and we needed to get then ready for school, time to sober up, not drink more. So she grabbed me and started wrestling for some reason. :shrug:

    I didn't mind, nothing wrong with a lil rough foreplay. Which is where I thought the situation was going, enough blue balling me woman let's do this! But no she got more and more violent, started hitting harder and harder. It's a good and fun til she Jimmy "Super Fly" Snuka'ed me off the top rope (off the back of the couch) with an elbow to my ribs. She cracked 2 of them.

    I got up yelled at her for being a crazy "b" word. And she started crying. I went outside and smoked a ciggy to calm down and tend to my wounds. Came back in laid down on the couch and went to sleep. Just to wake up a few mins later when her oldest daughter came downstairs extremely upset 2 drunks passed out on the couch in their underwear, beaten half to death lol!
     
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  19. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist
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    @Enoch07 ,That story started out funny, and then... 2 cracked ribs.... Dude. I have nothing, nothing that compares to any of this.
     
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  20. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    Im sure that hurt, but that wordig made it impossible for me to not laugh.:confused:
    Seems like datin is somewhat like growing up with siblings - a warzone (or so people tell me, I have half siblings but grew up an only child).
     
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