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Taking it out on others.
- Thread starter Evenstar
- Start date
Evenstar
The Wicked Christian
I too, said the second one, I try to shut myself away from people.
I know I have snapped at people in the forum too, and if I hurt anyone I am truely sorry 
.
I often seem to take it out on some one, even though its not my intention, including my dog, anyone close to me gets a back lash from my tongue..... SORRY!.
Feathers in Hair
World's Tallest Hobbit
I take it out on myself, mentally.
Ditto. I try not to take it out on the ones I love, but hold it in.
Actually, that is not an adaptive way of dealing with the emotions; to bottle them up means that when the valve blows, it blows!
Better to get stuff of your chest as it comes (for the sake of your mental well being); perhaps some tiring physical activity.
Why do I preach what I can't do ?
Actually, that is not an adaptive way of dealing with the emotions; to bottle them up means that when the valve blows, it blows!
Better to get stuff of your chest as it comes (for the sake of your mental well being); perhaps some tiring physical activity.
Why do I preach what I can't do ?
jeffrey
â Ãig Dogâ
I try not to, but alas, I do. At times I tell Rebecca I don't want to talk when I'm on the road, because if I do, I might say something I'll regret later. Can't take it out on stupid drivers... But that urge is sometimes there. NO, JEFF, DON'T PUT THEM IN THE DITCH! :devil: When at home, I know were the door is. Better to leave and cool off then stay and say stupid things you don't really mean.
Mods, please correct my entry. For #3, I, late at night, understood "I won't try to take in out on anybody who gets in my way" and thus voted 3. If I feel bad, I don't want those feelings to influence others. Trying to shovel my problems onto anyone else would be immensely unethical (and un-Daoistic etc.) to me. Not to take it out on anybody else (missing option!) would be my way, so --> other.
Buttons*
Glass half Panda'd
"Your emotional actions tend to be extreme, although you try to keep them muted. You are not quick to anger, you do slow burns. And you tend to release your anger as sarcasm or irony. Beware of your tendency to hold grudges and to be vengeful. When you do fight, or release your internal tensions, you do so body and soul -- you become totally passionate and your outbursts are awesome to behold."
It all depends on how stressed I am at the time. Mostly i let it collect, let it build, and if some unfortunate friend or foe happens to say the wrong thing the right way, or act indifferent to what i have to say... it all comes out.
I dont get angry often, but when i do.... all hell breaks loose. People say that I have this look that could kill... and nearly has.
Needless to say, i feel completely guilty inside for the way I handle things. Unfortunatley, nothing i say can be taken back.... and i know people get tired of me saying i'm sorry. I really do mean it when i say it. I dont think words like,"sorry" "love" and "hate" should be taken lightly.
Enough about myself....
It all depends on how stressed I am at the time. Mostly i let it collect, let it build, and if some unfortunate friend or foe happens to say the wrong thing the right way, or act indifferent to what i have to say... it all comes out.
I dont get angry often, but when i do.... all hell breaks loose. People say that I have this look that could kill... and nearly has.
Needless to say, i feel completely guilty inside for the way I handle things. Unfortunatley, nothing i say can be taken back.... and i know people get tired of me saying i'm sorry. I really do mean it when i say it. I dont think words like,"sorry" "love" and "hate" should be taken lightly.
Enough about myself....
Smoke
Done here.
If somebody ticks me off, and I have to vent, I vent at the person who ticks me off. In traffic, that usually means honking the horn, or offering "helpful advice" in a loud voice. (Once I yelled at somebody, "Why don't you pull over till you figure out what you're doing?" and they did.) Otherwise, it usually means going to the person and telling them why I have a problem with whatever they did. If circumstances don't allow me to do that, I'll vent by telling my better half or a good friend about it. ("Let me tell you what that stupid @#%! did today!") Or, rarely, by writing down my "case" against the person. Once I've got it out, I feel better and can forget about it.
I don't have to worry much about taking things out on the wrong person, because I'm not much for holding things in to start with.
Otherwise, it usually means going to the person and telling them why I have a problem with whatever they did. If circumstances don't allow me to do that, I'll vent by telling my better half or a good friend about it. ("Let me tell you what that stupid @#%! did today!") Or, rarely, by writing down my "case" against the person. Once I've got it out, I feel better and can forget about it.I don't have to worry much about taking things out on the wrong person, because I'm not much for holding things in to start with.
Smoke
Done here.
I used to do that, too. I'd get annoyed, and say, "Well, I'll just let it pass. No use making a big deal out of it." But I'd kind of be keeping score in my head. I'd let those little things build up inside, until one day some little thing would be the last straw, and months of built-up anger would come rushing out. Somebody left the cap off the toothpaste, and I'm raging like a lunatic. I had to stop that. Now I let it out as soon as I'm aware of it. Preferably in a light kind of way. "Baby, would you like me to show you how to turn the shower all the way off when you're done?"Buttons* said:
Evenstar
The Wicked Christian
I remember shouting out the window at a driver, and making rude hand signals out the window, I thought he was trying to cut us up. Think I need anger management classes!
When he started shouting back, I was asking Jeff to pull over.
It turned out he had let us go, and hadn't tryed to cut us up at all..... Think I need anger management classes!
Fluffy
A fool
I express things as they come or as soon as possible. In this way I never find I have to take anything out on anybody except the person who caused it.
If somebody makes me angry, I let them know about it. If somebody upsets me, I let them know about it. Generally, if this is done soon enough (so the feeling has not built up too much) the situation does not blow up any further since they are sensible, realise the reaction in me and stop.
Sometimes, people deliberately try and annoy me and sometimes people can't help but upset me. I try and avoid these situations as much as possible and whenever I am forced into one, I make sure I try and predict it in advance or have some sort of "contingency plan". It is very difficult but practice makes it easier as well as experience. In this way I find I am able to keep "taking it out on others" to the utmost minimum.
If somebody makes me angry, I let them know about it. If somebody upsets me, I let them know about it. Generally, if this is done soon enough (so the feeling has not built up too much) the situation does not blow up any further since they are sensible, realise the reaction in me and stop.
Sometimes, people deliberately try and annoy me and sometimes people can't help but upset me. I try and avoid these situations as much as possible and whenever I am forced into one, I make sure I try and predict it in advance or have some sort of "contingency plan". It is very difficult but practice makes it easier as well as experience. In this way I find I am able to keep "taking it out on others" to the utmost minimum.