Sven and Ole

[Wandering Monk]

Sven and Ole were carpentering on a new house. Sven, who was nailing down siding, would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.

Ole, figuring this was worth looking into, asked,
"Why are you trowing dose nails avay?"

Sven explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed TOWARD me, I trow it avay 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward da HOUSE, den I nail it in!"

Ole got completely upset and yelled, "Vahts wrong wit yeew!! Da nails pointed toward you aren't defective!
Dare for da ODDER side of da house!!"

 

[Revoltingest]

Sven & Ole had a landscaping company.
Sven was in the house talking to his customer,
& would occasionally yell out the window....
"Green side up!".
The customer asked why he kept doing that.
Sven said, "Ole is laying sod."

 

[BSM1]

A chemical company caught on fire and it's most valuable formulas were in a safe in the middle of the conflagration. The company's owner offered a fifteen thousand dollar reward to any of the many fire departments that showed up if they could retrieve the safe. A few tried but were driven back by the flames. The company up the reward to twenty-five then thirty thousand dollars. Still no crew could get close. All of the sudden volunteer firemen Sven and Ole come flying around a curve in their thirty year old fire truck. Without stopping they drove right into the middle of building, jumped out, fought back the flames like a couple of maniacs, and saved the safe. The company owner was so impressed and thankful that he gave the boys fifty thousand dollars. When asked what they were going to do with the money Ole says, "First thing we get dem brakes fixed on the dam truck!"

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

Sven took a job in the lumber department at Menards. Ole decided he was going to build a new barn, so he went to Menards to get the necessary lumber.

"I'm a-buildin' me a new barn," he says to Sven, "So I'll need a bunch of boards."

"How long we'll you be needin' them?" Asked Sven.

"Oooh, since I'm buildin' a barn, I'll need 'em for about 40 years."

 

[Revoltingest]

Ole & Lena were at the store, & the locals were talking sports.
Someone asked Lena if she followed football.
"No" she said.
"Don't you like the Green Bay Packers?" another said.

Spoiler: Adult theme

"No, Ole's pecker is enuf for me."