Stuff residing in various human orifices found by our emergency medical services.

[Skwim]

Thought the following was kind of thought provoking; like, what the hell were these people thinking?

Items found stuck in the human . . .

Penis:

PENIS PLUG
20-30 MAGNETIC BUCKY BALLS
DICE
FISHTANK AIRHOSE
ANTENNA
SEWING NEEDLE
BB PELLET
"WIDE WOODEN DOWEL"
NAIL
PLASTIC PIPE, DENTAL FLOSS WITH BEADS
WIRE
MARBLE
EMBEDDED DOMINO IN PENIS "TO PLEASE THE LADIES"
​

Vagina:

GLUE STICK
BARRETTE
SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR–"IT'S STILL ON"
TOILET PAPER
"LONG BLACK OBJECT"
PENIS RING
RIVET
"WORMS COMING OUT OF PEE-PEE"—PINWORMS
SPOON
PENCIL ERASER
PLASTIC BOTTLE OF CREAM (LID STILL ON)
NAPKINS IN VAGINA TO HAVE SEX DURING PERIOD
​

Rectum:

PENCIL
PENCILS
SHAMPOO BOTTLE
COLOGNE BOTTLE
LOTION JAR
SODA CAN
SODA BOTTLE
FLASHLIGHT
BATHTUB STOPPER
SHOT GLASS (BROKEN)
SOCK
ICE PACK
END OF CURTAIN ROD
"PATIENT STATES HE WAS EXPERIENCING AN ITCHY RECTUM AND INSERTED A REMOTE CONTROL TO SCRATCH"
VIBRATOR
VIBRATOR BATTERY
COVER OF VIBRATOR
TIP OF VIBRATOR
"BIG PURPLE DILDO"
"PATIENT STATES HE GOT DRUNK AND PASSED OUT AT GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE, AWOKE WITH SPOONS AND DILDOS IN RECTUM"
LIGHTER
TOY SUBMARINE
TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER
2 HALVES OF BAR OF SOAP
POOL BALL
LIT BOTTLE ROCKET; "IT DIDN'T GO WELL"
​

source and more

 

[Rainbow Mage]

Oh my :areyoucra

 

[StarryNightshade]

Well damn.

 

[Alceste]

I have a great aunt who worked as a nurse all her life who is completely convinced that a sliver of soap up the rectum is the ultimate home remedy for any ailment. It's quite a lark watching her chase after anyone with a cough or sniffle at family reunions. Thank God she's in her nineties and not that quick on her feet. So that one at least may have a completely innocent explanation. Heck, it's probably one of my cousins.