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Straight men and femininity

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by VoidCat, Aug 18, 2022.

  1. VoidCat

    VoidCat Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    Lewis said this would be a good thread topic
    So here i go...

    Why don't straight men act more feminine?
     
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  2. The Hammer

    The Hammer Wyrd Wide Web
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    I mean... It really depends on what we are deeming as "feminine".
     
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  3. VoidCat

    VoidCat Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    And the culture and time frame of course...
     
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  4. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Unknown Member
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    Who says straight men don't act feminine?

    My husband does...
     
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  5. VoidCat

    VoidCat Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    I asked the question in an attempt to prove a point in another thread.


    There is a taboo among some men in general doesn't matter what sexuality that acting feminine or "girly" is a bad thing tho

    But yes there agree straight men who act femme
     
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  6. Ashoka

    Ashoka You are the All

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    They definitely exist, but anything having to do with femininity in our culture is considered weak. Women have always been considered weak. So why would a man want to be seen acting like that?

    There's, of course, nothing wrong with it. There are femme boys, demiboys, demigirls, etc. I feel as though straight men could learn a thing or two from them. That it's okay to be feminine. It's not a sign of weakness. Our culture accepts tomboys and girls being "one of the guys" yet we cannot accept a man being seen as "one of the girls." It's wild.
     
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  7. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
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    I'm going to extrapolate more on this later, since my workday is just kicking off.
    But my upbringing was a pretty traditional working class cultural Christian type upbringing, and most definitely I was discouraged in showing what would commonly be called feminine traits.
    Crying was not really acceptable. Showing strong emotions was generally seen as weakness, etc.

    In some ways that's what people might think of as 'toxic masculinity', but I don't really see it that way. I also don't see it as particularly healthy, but that will take some explaining, in terms of where the line is. So, @JustGeorge , I don't think the OP is really suggesting 'Why do no straight men have feminine qualities'. Rather it's 'Why are certain traditionally feminine behaviours discouraged by some/many mainstream cultures in straight men'.

    Just like there is diversity in culture, and in gay men and how they express, there is too in straight men.
    Still, it's undeniable that some things are commonly thought of as feminine in some cultures (eg. crying) and some cultures discourage those expressions in straight men.
     
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  8. VoidCat

    VoidCat Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    Yep that's what i was going for
     
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  9. The Hammer

    The Hammer Wyrd Wide Web
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    I tend to want to show my emotions. But I was always taught through my upbringing, that this was feminine, girly or gay. And apparently these things were frowned upon and wrong/discouraged. I find it stupid that being emotional, is a girly trait.

    We're human. Humans are and have emotions.....
     
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  10. Valjean

    Valjean Veteran Member
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    But what constitutes femininity? Dress? Emotionalism? Sexual inclusivity? Work?
    This varies widely by culture.
     
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  11. Aštra’el

    Aštra’el Aštara, Blade of Aštoreth

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    -To honor his family and friends.
    -To find himself an amazing woman.
    -To love that woman… and she, him.
    -To set an example for his children and those who look up to him.
    -To support and protect his family and those he cares about.
    -To move forward in harmony with his nature

    I understand that people require time to grow and develop. To experiment. To discover their calling and who they will to be. However… if you are an adult human male and none of this is important to you… then you are failing society with your weakness and neglect. You are failing your ancestors. You are failing your family and you are failing yourself.

    It is what it is. Change… or don’t. You choose.

    Why are men not more feminine? It is against the nature of the human male. Their masculinity is a tremendous strength, and yes, sometimes a weakness. So what. It is a precious and valuable strength to themselves and to those they care about.
     
    #11 Aštra’el, Aug 18, 2022
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2022
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  12. Polymath257

    Polymath257 Think & Care
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    I don't spend a lot of time worrying about whether I am acting masculine or feminine. I just act how I feel at the time while trying not to offend others too much unintentionally.

    I don't particularly like wearing makeup. Dresses tend to be too small on me. I don't spend a lot of time worrying about my looks. I am probably more inclined to cry than my wife. I am definitely more inclined to talk about emotions.

    Any specific behaviors you want to ask about?
     
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  13. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium Veteran Member
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    Because I am what I am. I don't intentionally behave with the intent to emulate either gender. I simple behave as I do.

    If I act more feminine, that ain't me.

    If I act more masculine, that ain't me.

    I am what I am.
     
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  14. VoidCat

    VoidCat Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    very very true. And it even differs through individuals.
    Not really. Like I said I posted that in another thread to prove a point. I posted this thread cuz Lewis thought it'd make a good thread topic.


    Personally i think everyone doesn't matter who should be as masculine, femme, androgynous, neutral, xenine, or other as they like. As long as they aren't dickheads or harming themselves what they behave like shouldnt matter that much. I think most the men I notice who are uncomfortable with being seen as feminine in any regard are really just insecure.
     
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  15. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium Veteran Member
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    Crying is macho!

    4:48
     
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  16. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    Can you give me some examples of behaviors you would consider feminine?
     
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  17. VoidCat

    VoidCat Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    Hmmm....good question. To me it's not really behavior I see as femme but certain types of energy folk give off. This is an unusual way of viewing feminity and masculinity at least in the US so it's not what i was referring to regarding the OP. I was referring to what socially most people consider feminine and these idea i see among men that it isn't ok to act feminine. Some things I've seen folk get onto men about saying they shouldn't do/act like cuz it's girly: show emotions(odd one since everyone has emotions), dancing, wearing or styling themselves in ways consider femme such as wearing nail polish, doing artistry stuff(another odd one everyone has creativity what's wrong with showing it?), etc...

    Like i said this guy Lewis really got what i was trying to say:
    And I originally posed this question in another thread to prove a point to someone. I know there are many feminine men or what their society deems as feminine that it differs from culture to culture person to person and likely in the US at least men who dont want to be seen as femme it's probably upbringing and insecurity that makes them not want to be seen as "girly".
     
  18. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    So I was an elementary school teacher, and around 10% of elementary school teachers are men. I love making flower garlands for the Gods of Hinduism, I have earrings, I used to wear a pink T-shirt to school some days, I write childrens' books. Do any of these things count? I do know lots of men that couldn't bring themselves to do some of the stuff I could easily do. My best friends have almost always been women. I get along better with women in general.
     
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  19. VoidCat

    VoidCat Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    I'd say so. Depending on who you talk to.

    I see no issues with said behaviors.
     
  20. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Abnormal before it was fashionable
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    Cuz we're insensitive knuckle walkers.
    And macho comes naturally.
     
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