Son!

[JustGeorge]

My husband and I have been debating the last few days...

Lately, when he's gotten drunk, he's referred to other people(of his own age group) as 'son'.

"Look at that, son!" "Whatcha think of that, son!" "There ya go, son" (for example)

I find it incredibly disrespectful. He says its fine, and normal in the south. (I am not sure I believe this.)

What do you think? How would you feel being called "son" by a person of your own age group? What about someone older/younger? (And this applies to women, too, as I and my female friend am getting called "son", too in these instances.) I'm curious if perhaps there is a nuance here, and I'm just being overly sensitive.

Yes, its probably alcohol fueled, but I have never excused rude behavior just because one is drunk.

 

[mangalavara]

I find it incredibly disrespectful. He says its fine, and normal in the south. (I am not sure I believe this.)

I've heard some men here use that term that way, and they have always been Latino or black.

Yes, its probably alcohol fueled, but I have never excused rude behavior just because one is drunk.

Why is a Hindu drinking?

 

[Rival]

It's very common in Britain. It can be offensive in certain contexts, but not meant to be usually.

 

[exchemist]

My husband and I have been debating the last few days...

Lately, when he's gotten drunk, he's referred to other people(of his own age group) as 'son'.

"Look at that, son!" "Whatcha think of that, son!" "There ya go, son" (for example)

I find it incredibly disrespectful. He says its fine, and normal in the south. (I am not sure I believe this.)

What do you think? How would you feel being called "son" by a person of your own age group? What about someone older/younger? (And this applies to women, too, as I and my female friend am getting called "son", too in these instances.) I'm curious if perhaps there is a nuance here, and I'm just being overly sensitive.

Yes, its probably alcohol fueled, but I have never excused rude behavior just because one is drunk.

I would find it patronising and borderline offensive - definitely so if done repeatedly. But I am not even American, let alone from the South. But if he is with other people who are not from the South, I think he might be well advised to drop it.

Of course what really helps is, er, not to get drunk, so that you retain a measure of control of how you speak. But you guys have your work cut out with all the autism etc., so I can't begrudge you or your husband getting sloshed occasionally.

 

[exchemist]

It's very common in Britain. It can be offensive in certain contexts, but not meant to be usually.

Where? I don't think I've ever come across "son" being used like that.

 

[ChristineM]

Being a brit I have no first hand experience of this, the "friendly" call used where i come from is "hey you!" But...

I hear it on tv programs based in the south american states usually by some bigwig talking to the minions as a mark of disrespect. However, that's TV, in real life it may be used differently, i don't really know.

I don't particularly like it though because of the usage on TV programs and if it were my hubby I'd be giving him some verbal ear ache until he got out of the habit.

 

[Rival]

Where? I don't think I've ever come across "son" being used like that.

I have. I'm in Yorkshire. Maybe it's just local to where I am.

 

[exchemist]

I have. I'm in Yorkshire. Maybe it's just local to where I am.

So you are. I think you once told me. Tends to be "mate" in London - probably where Australia got it from. But mate is an expression of equality whereas son isn't - though I suppose it has affectionate overtones.

 

[Viker]

Oftentimes, amongst Southern folk, phrases like son or even cuz are used as joking/bonding and at times a form of sarcasm.

 

[ChristineM]

At leat you are not in Liverpool "wacker"

 

[Secret Chief]

It's patronising and clearly deserves a smack in the mouth.

 

[JustGeorge]

I've heard some men here use that term that way, and they have always been Latino or black.

That's good to know.

Why is a Hindu drinking?

If I am totally honest, he appears to be going through some things. While we do sometimes have beer or wine, I think he could scale back some(and long before 'son' starts coming out.)

It's very common in Britain. It can be offensive in certain contexts, but not meant to be usually.

What makes it so, or not so?

I would find it patronising and borderline offensive - definitely so if done repeatedly. But I am not even American, let alone from the South. But if he is with other people who are not from the South, I think he might be well advised to drop it.

Of course what really helps is, er, not to get drunk, so that you retain a measure of control of how you speak. But you guys have your work cut out with all the autism etc., so I can't begrudge you or your husband getting sloshed occasionally.

Honestly, I think the pick up in drinking has nothing to do with the kids. It seems to have picked up over the turd of a rich lady coming in over the summer to shower money over him in the form of gifts... and him seeing she was using him and that her gifts came at a high personal cost.(she is an old lady and played on his mother issues as well). The spoiling seemed to do a number on his personality.. having not been materialistic before, he's all the sudden consumed with his belongings. (My sister recommended spanking him like a spoiled child, but I don't think that would help, though it did make me laugh.)

I have no idea what to do with this, so I ignore the increase in drinking... until he called me 'son'! I want to be supportive while he's going through his issues, overall, so most of the time I try to be friendly about these things. He's typically just goofy if he's been drinking.

I hear it on tv programs based in the south american states usually by some bigwig talking to the minions as a mark of disrespect. However, that's TV, in real life it may be used differently, i don't really know.

That's exactly how I feel. Like he feels he's a big wig, talking down to someone.

Oftentimes, amongst Southern folk, phrases like son or even cuz are used as joking/bonding and at times a form of sarcasm.

I will try to ignore it, then.

It's patronising and clearly deserves a smack in the mouth.

I did get frustrated with him one night and threatened to leave a shoe lodged in an orifice...

I try to be agreeable, though. I'd let him pick which shoe, and which orifice.

 

[Rival]

What makes it so, or not so?

Intent. Tone of voice etc. can be derogatory, same as with words like 'buddy' or 'mate'.

 

[Secret Chief]

I try to be agreeable, though. I'd let him pick which shoe, and which orifice.

You can't say fairer than that. Round here it would be both shoes and no orifice selection.

 

[JustGeorge]

You can't say fairer than that. Round here it would be both shoes and no orifice selection.

Logically speaking, I am not sure what I'd do with only one shoe...

I do have a brown shoe that lost its mate. Maybe in the spirit of being reasonable, I'll take awat shoe selection...

(Though heels would be more fun.)

 

[Brickjectivity]

My husband and I have been debating the last few days...

Lately, when he's gotten drunk, he's referred to other people(of his own age group) as 'son'.

"Look at that, son!" "Whatcha think of that, son!" "There ya go, son" (for example)

I find it incredibly disrespectful. He says its fine, and normal in the south. (I am not sure I believe this.)

What do you think? How would you feel being called "son" by a person of your own age group? What about someone older/younger? (And this applies to women, too, as I and my female friend am getting called "son", too in these instances.) I'm curious if perhaps there is a nuance here, and I'm just being overly sensitive.

Yes, its probably alcohol fueled, but I have never excused rude behavior just because one is drunk.

I'd anticipate hearing it in an argument about sports statistics where you're showing your knowledge of the sport is superior. If you are friends its usually fine. It can sometimes be fine with a coworker but may not be. Its called shooting the **** or turkey talk.

 

[SomeRandom]

My husband and I have been debating the last few days...

Lately, when he's gotten drunk, he's referred to other people(of his own age group) as 'son'.

"Look at that, son!" "Whatcha think of that, son!" "There ya go, son" (for example)

I find it incredibly disrespectful. He says its fine, and normal in the south. (I am not sure I believe this.)

What do you think? How would you feel being called "son" by a person of your own age group? What about someone older/younger? (And this applies to women, too, as I and my female friend am getting called "son", too in these instances.) I'm curious if perhaps there is a nuance here, and I'm just being overly sensitive.

Yes, its probably alcohol fueled, but I have never excused rude behavior just because one is drunk.

Mate. Half my nieces are actually older than me so they have to call me Aunty to be respectful. Lol
Most of the time I just call my relies whatever term they tell me because it’s confusing as hell.

An old slang term here for woman is “Sheila” which also happens to be a common name in my mother’s culture. You can imagine her confusion when first arriving here and my dad calling every woman he saw “Shiela.”

Most older guys call me “love” as I’m a woman. It’s since been phased out for my generation since it’s now seen as demeaning (only older guys can get away with saying it.)
And of course in Australia every single person regardless of gender, age, race etc is called “mate.”
So I mean language is…odd to say the least.

 

[ChristineM]

Logically speaking, I am not sure what I'd do with only one shoe...

I do have a brown shoe that lost its mate. Maybe in the spirit of being reasonable, I'll take awat shoe selection...

(Though heels would be more fun.)

Got any biker boots you no longer have need of?

 

[JustGeorge]

I'd anticipate hearing it in an argument about sports statistics where you're showing your knowledge of the sport is superior. If you are friends its usually fine. It can sometimes be fine with a coworker but may not be. Its called shooting the **** or turkey talk.

Turkey Talk!!

I can run with that.

When he starts calling me or friends son, I'll alleviate my stress about the situation by gobbling like a turkey.

Win-win.

 

[Secret Chief]

So you are. I think you once told me. Tends to be "mate" in London - probably where Australia got it from. But mate is an expression of equality whereas son isn't - though I suppose it has affectionate overtones.

"Mate" is as much as likely to be taken as patronising.
I recall a Peter Kay show where he was recounting going through customs. The customs officer referred to him as "mate", to which he replied "I'm not your ******* mate."
It implies a level of friendship or acquaintance that isn't there.
I see it used on RF and I'm not always sure which way to take it (especially if the person is not English). The tone and context make it apparent IRL.