Something I was taught

[VoidCat]

@SomeRandom Anyway other things I was taught were to look under cars before getting into them in case of wire. Don't have earphones in both ears. Never walk alone at night. Dress modestly. Carry a bottle of perfume on you at all times to spray in eyes. High heels make great weapons. If a man walks towards you on the street cross to the other side. Etc.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Where the heck where you taught, and by whom?

I'm sorry you received such poor information!

That's basically how fundamentalist protestants are. The woman is there for the man, the woman is supposed to fully submit to her husband, and accept being beneath men.

Wtf?

I've never heard this in my life. Bizarre.

I never really heard any such stuff until I started going out as female. Then rape discussions began,
In regards to trans specifically, this "issue of danger and safety" is often used as an excuse to not allow transgender people to use the restroom they are identifying and presenting as.

 

[SomeRandom]

@SomeRandom Anyway other things I was taught were to look under cars before getting into them in case of wire. Don't have earphones in both ears. Never walk alone at night. Dress modestly. Carry a bottle of perfume on you at all times to spray in eyes. High heels make great weapons. If a man walks towards you on the street cross to the other side. Etc.

That’s.....crazy.
I hope you’re no longer around such toxic people

 

[VoidCat]

That’s.....crazy.
I hope you’re no longer around such toxic people

So that isn't normal? Like I knew being told about martial rape not being real isn't normal but being told all those tips regarding safety isn't?

Someone please tell me I aint the only one taught all that...

 

[SomeRandom]

So that isn't normal? Like I knew being told about martial rape not being real isn't normal but being told all those tips regarding safety isn't?

Someone please tell me I aint the only one taught all that...

You’re not the only one. I’ve heard of such stories from atheist channels discussing the awful detrimental sexist teachings. Or even just reacting to such things.
But I’m not in fundamentalist Christian spaces. So I never heard such things. I mean I heard similar modesty messages from conservative uncles, but they’re conservative uncles. Also what Indians consider modest isn’t always seen as such in the West. So I never cared what they told me. My uncles/dads seemed concerned with my physical safety, but I was never taught to fear men. Kick the genital area sure. But not to fear men specifically.

 

[VoidCat]

You’re not the only one. I’ve heard of such stories from atheist channels discussing the awful detrimental sexist teachings. Or even just reacting to such things.
But I’m not in fundamentalist Christian spaces. So I never heard such things. I mean I heard similar modesty messages from conservative uncles, but they’re conservative uncles. Also what Indians consider modest isn’t always seen as such in the West. So I never cared what they told me. My uncles/dads seemed concerned with my physical safety, but I was never taught to fear men. Kick the genital area sure. But not to fear men specifically.

Ah good but it's not just the church that taught me this but my aunt and my grandma and my uncle... Like I thought this was just normal stuff that people teach their daughters

 

[SomeRandom]

Ah good but it's not just the church that taught me this but my aunt and my grandma. Like I thought this was just normal stuff that people teach their daughters

Internalised sexism. Quite common I’ve heard. This is why I reject conservative teachings. Imo, they’re counterintuitive and reinforce harmful life lessons

 

[VoidCat]

Internalised sexism. Quite common I’ve heard. This is why I reject conservative teachings. Imo, they’re counterintuitive and reinforce harmful life lessons

I am now tempted to call all my female friends and ask if they were taught similar things...I just am surprised that this may not be normal.

 

[Revoltingest]

@SomeRandom Anyway other things I was taught were to look under cars before getting into them in case of wire. Don't have earphones in both ears. Never walk alone at night. Dress modestly. Carry a bottle of perfume on you at all times to spray in eyes. High heels make great weapons. If a man walks towards you on the street cross to the other side. Etc.

Carry pepper spray.
Perfume will just make the assailant smell nice.

 

[VoidCat]

Carry pepper spray.
Perfume will just make the assailant smell nice.

Yeah well pepper spray wasn't allowed to be carried at school so my family had me make do.

 

[SomeRandom]

I am now tempted to call all my female friends and ask if they were taught similar things...I just am surprised that this may not be normal.

It’s “normal” in the sense that there are communities who teach such things. But I’d be surprised if it were mainstream. Maybe in the US it is. Not in my circles though

 

[Revoltingest]

Yeah well pepper spray wasn't allowed to be carried at school so my family had me make do.

Bummer.

 

[crossfire]

Yeah well pepper spray wasn't allowed to be carried at school so my family had me make do.

Bar of soap knotted in the leg of old pantyhose as a flail.

 

[VoidCat]

Bar of soap knotted in the leg of old pantyhose as a flail.

Now that one I haven't heard of.

 

[Orbit]

So that isn't normal? Like I knew being told about martial rape not being real isn't normal but being told all those tips regarding safety isn't?

Someone please tell me I aint the only one taught all that...

You're not the only one, and not just evangelical circles taught this either.

 

[QuestioningMind]

Trigger warning...mention of rape.

Anyone else assigned female at birth was also taught that if someone is raping you to shout fire and not rape? The reasoning being that no one wants to help women but everyone wants to see chaos?

Anybody else find it messed up that women are taught things like this?And if you are assigned female at birth feel free to add stuff y'all heard growing up regarding protecting yourself.

I don't qualify as someone assigned female at birth, but I find this to be 100% messed up.

 

[crossfire]

So that isn't normal? Like I knew being told about martial rape not being real isn't normal but being told all those tips regarding safety isn't?

Someone please tell me I aint the only one taught all that...

It wasn't until the mid 1970's that marital rape was legally recognized. Before that, spouses were explicitly excluded from the definition of rape.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

@SomeRandom Anyway other things I was taught were to look under cars before getting into them in case of wire. Don't have earphones in both ears. Never walk alone at night. Dress modestly. Carry a bottle of perfume on you at all times to spray in eyes. High heels make great weapons. If a man walks towards you on the street cross to the other side. Etc.

The wire thing is extreme. I've seen plenty of women with both earphones on. I suspect for those you will be in the minority.
Some of Barbara Ehrenreich's works you may find interesting. I don't remember the titles, but in some of her books she brings up such topics and how she wasn't raised to be afraid.

 

[VoidCat]

The wire thing is extreme. I've seen plenty of women with both earphones on. I suspect for those you will be in the minority.
Some of Barbara Ehrenreich's works you may find interesting. I don't remember the titles, but in some of her books she brings up such topics and how she wasn't raised to be afraid.

I'll check it out thanks

 

[Shadow Wolf]

It’s “normal” in the sense that there are communities who teach such things. But I’d be surprised if it were mainstream. Maybe in the US it is. Not in my circles though

There are cases, here in America, where fathers (and church pastors) forbid their daughters from being too highly educated. They are pulled out of public education, forbidden from going to college, and it's all because it's supposed to be the man's job to be the breadwinner, women are supposed to be at home, and they most certainly must not be smarter and better educated than their husbands.
Not mainstream, but not uncommon, and tragically legal until the child is 18.