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Silence your inner critic

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Geoff-Allen, Feb 16, 2020.

  1. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    Hope you are all enjoying your time on the forum!

    Was not sure where to post this ... so move it if you decide that is best.

    It’s time to stop being your own worst enemy.

    Your inner critic? Everyone has one, but where does it come from?

    The shame game starts in childhood when others tell us what’s “wrong” with us.

    ...

    You’ve identified with this insult and that is how your inner critic is born and programmed. A pattern of negative self-talk literally installs itself in your brain, like laying down tracks in a recording studio. Put-downs embed in the neuronal pathways of your brain and replay over and over and over.

    As a result, your “inner bully” now specializes in self put-downs, character assassination, self blaming and shaming. And now you’re your own worst tormentor, the master of negative self-talk.

    The inner critic’s influence is far-reaching — crushing self-confidence, blocking creativity, and trapping us in deadening relationships and careers.

    Comes from this page -

    5 Super Easy Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic

    Not too sure about calling them "super easy" :)

    Enjoy your day!
     
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  2. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    Me, personally, I hate this idea that your inner thoughts and dialog cannot be critical, because when done right criticism is a good and healthy thing that helps us improve. It creates a drive to do better, and looks for ways to improve. As for I mine, it is very harsh and hard on myself, but it gets me going. And it also helps me to realize even very positive things wheni begin to heavily scrutinize things about my life in general.
     
  3. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    Fair enough - thanks for sharing - I guess we all have our own ways of talking to ourselves.

    I personally try to treat myself with kindness & compassion even when I "mess things up" which is not infrequently. Criticism can be helpful as a motivator but I prefer encouragement myself.

    Wishing you all the best!
     
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  4. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    I had a little google on the topic of self criticism and whether it is constructive or not ... I found this -

    Self-criticism, or the act of pointing out one’s perceived flaws, can be a healthy way to increase self-awareness and achieve personal growth, but it may also prove a barrier to one’s self-esteem and peace of mind. Self-criticism may often help facilitate the process of learning from one’s mistakes and can also be helpful when one attempts to overcome areas of weakness or unwanted habits.

    Comes from here -

    Therapy for Self Criticism, Therapist for Self Criticism

    Enjoy your day!
     
  5. Landon Caeli

    Landon Caeli ~◇~

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    I prefer balling-up all guilt, and throwing it at others. It's very appealing in the short term.

    ...Once the short term is over, simply repeat step 1. :)
     
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  6. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    That's not really dealing with it. My inner voice finding reason to call me a hypocrite is the worst thing I can do to myself, and things have to change. Most the time, it'll be something like waking up to my alarm in the morning, waiting to go back to bed, but instead I call myself a laz-*** and get up and to the gym (Unless I just do not feel well enough, then the self trash talk starts but quickly ends once my mind feels how my body is feeling).
     
  7. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    Really, I think maybe alot of it is upbringing. Mine wasn't really that good, and I suspect I learned the negativity as a normal thing, combined with having grown up angry and was very angry for most of my life. So I developed angry thoughts and a pissed off inner voice.
    Or, at least that's what I think.
     
  8. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    I can't complain about my childhood or even adulthood but I can relate to negativity inside my head. I used to be extremely angry and cynical but I am the opposite now and nobody is more amazed and perplexed by that turn of events!

    Wishing you all the best with that pesky voice in your head - many people are in the same boat ...
     
  9. Thief

    Thief Rogue Theologian

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    so if my child does something shameful.....
    I would say nothing?

    shame on you!.....is an improper retort?
     
  10. Windwalker

    Windwalker Integralist
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    There is a difference between the inner critic, and being honest with oneself about areas that need improvement. The inner critic, is a bully. Bully's are not about motivating you to do better. They are about putting others down because they feel weak themselves and are trying to feel powerful through holding their foot over your throat to show you they think they are the boss.But all of that is a sign of great weakness on the part of the bully.

    That is not true power. It is force and manipulation. It is not about encouragement. It is not about self-improvement. It's about punishing yourself because you feel out of control. And ultimately, it is an avoidance of actually taking self-responsibility. It's easier to take a shortcut to actual power and self-empowerment, or self-actualization, by faking power with force. True power does not use force.
     
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  11. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    Well take a good look at the kind of world you get when people try to use shame as a motivational tool - not overly impressive is it ...

    I also found this about shame resilience -

    Shame Resilience Theory by Brené Brown

    All the best!
     
  12. Thief

    Thief Rogue Theologian

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    self critique is fine
    I see room for improvement

    what I don't appreciate @ChristineM would be coworkers in my face.....
    OH......we are not here for our performance
    WE are here for our attendance

    SHAME on them
     
    #12 Thief, Feb 17, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2020
  13. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    Yes by all means aim at getting better - but no need for "shame" esp towards yourself which is what the article was mainly about ...

    Practicing Shame Resilience

    All the best!
     
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