sexuality, lust and love

[trablano]

Hello,

from myself, I know a sexuality based on lust and I know a sexuality based on love. With my knowledge, lust sexuality does not help me grow. I can only embrace love sexuality - meaning sex belongs to two souls knowing each other and being in true love with each other. Love sexuality is tender, deep, kind and not a sport. Lust sexuality seems to invariably end with expleted emotions, confusion of energies in the body and, spiritually, a sense of having disregarded God's input in my life.

I might go lefthanded for a time but I know that my soul is used to much better things and that there is the demonic in life which can then get a foothold on me and conflict me. I have thought about why this happens and why some people can apparently enjoy lust sexuality and do not get karmic drawbacks or incur consequences of having demanded so incredibly much freedom from life that you end up living in the ego and not in the self.

I do find that there are tamer variants of lust sexuality, such as when a loving couple would try the kamasutra with each other and enjoy a more ecstatic sexuality. This is okay for me but without genuine love as a basis I do not want to be someone for whom sexuality would mean everything about life even when there is no love to give it genuine spiritual satisfaction. The higher self and the divine in me agree with the divine above that sexuality without love is devoid of real sense.

I would also appeal to a kind of bhakti reverence towards pure life. It would help if you know literature like Hermann Hesse's books or love poetry from one of the talented ones. I have sometimes seen myself as a monk as I have much interest and love for the gods in my life. And monkish life is really not too much about renounciation of every pleasure but about leading an unconventional life with the gods that sees more mystery and beauty in life and actually learns how to live with that. (Nothing is such a matter of course to the Atman soul in us whose father the Brahman is able to connect to it if you value the heart of life and the heaven's vastness and wanting to share spirit and Agape love with us.)

God bless you!

 

[Tassie]

You seem conflicted trablano - too many new age ideas floating around

 

[trablano]

I'm not sure if the problem should really be called a new age problem. It's instead a recurring life problem that is to be taken serious. It easily happens to people that they fall in love with each other and marry and then they might one day notice they have fallen out of this love and can't make it work anymore and have to divorce themselves. Marriages are no wondersolver and if you don't get into the right romantic love for each other you can't make it work in bed and so you have disharmony and at least one of the marriage partners feels unhappy with it all. Then simply to announce marriage as an unbreakable covenant would be easy for YOU to say but could create such a pressure and anger with the actually involved people that they face unhappiness and strive all the time. That's why I think there must be given an escape way in the form of a careful and respectful divorce. Not every marriage was formed out of genuine thick love. It is equally true that marriages should not be divorced so easily and faithfulness is a deep virtue in the eyes of the gods. But the laws of life are supposed to give us life not make life impossible, and sometimes a seeming perfection like sticking to marriage no matter what is impossible to uphold without condemning people into a suffering that the perfection and virtue praisers never have to bother with themselves...

 

[arthra]

Marriages are no wondersolver and if you don't get into the right romantic love for each other you can't make it work in bed and so you have disharmony and at least one of the marriage partners feels unhappy with it all.

I think marriage as an institution is important and one of the building blocks of a stable society... Yes sometimes people seek divorce and separate but when carried out I believe marriage provides stability for raising children and forming important social bonds that can last a lifetime and beyond.. Unfortunately I think marriage in our current society has been weakened.. multiple children from broken families have poor examples from the adults and lack a standard that can help them later in life.

 

[trablano]

But isn't the core of marriage that people have a deep love for each other? When the love is not cultivated and doesn't come to the couple, what good is their marriage? I'm not saying it's always like this. I've also known people for whom faithfulness meant nothing and who way too easily separated. But sometimes a divorce produces more freedom and joy than when the couple would have remained married. My sister is divorced and her children took it well. They go to the former husband and enjoy love and happiness with him, and they understand that their parents cannot be together anymore. I think sometimes religion is too much about raising the finger of morality. It's like with the jews and their understanding of laws, we shall live and not die by them...