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Sexism

Discussion in 'General Debates' started by tumble_weed, Jul 27, 2004.

  1. Runt

    Runt Well-Known Member

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    No he's not! When people get married they become PARTNERS. That makes BOTH "head of the household". Even if they have different roles within the household (she takes care of the children, keeps the house tidy, feeds the pets, etc; he goes to work to make the money) they are still BOTH doing half the work to run the household, and thus are BOTH the "Head of the household".

    If there is any asking "can I do this, can I do that?", it should be mutual. If she wants to take some of the family money to go get her hair done, she should ask him. If he wants to take some of the family money to go buy some beer, he should ask her. It is not a matter of who is in control, but a matter of being partners, working together, and therefore not being selfish.
     
  2. Lightkeeper

    Lightkeeper Well-Known Member

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    Well said, Runt. I think some religious groups consider the man to be the head of household.
     
  3. Runt

    Runt Well-Known Member

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    Hehe, and this is the "sexism" forum! LMAO!
     
  4. Sunstone

    Sunstone De Diablo Del Fora
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    Keevelish writes,

    “Sunstone-if a wife is included in your idea of a ‘partner’ then I don't think that one of your questions is necessary- ‘I always ask my partner for permission to see family or friends, to spend money, or buy something for myself.’”

    “A wife SHOULD ask this of her husband- he is the head of the household. Besides, this is teamwork now, and no one should be buying stuff without asking about adequate funds.”

    (1) The question should be answered, along with the others. If half the questions are answered “yes”, then abuse is present. An answer of “yes” to any single question does not necessarily indicate abuse. It’s the overall score that’s important.

    (2) I’m aware that some Christian denominations teach the husband is the head of the household and that the wife is completely subservient to him. I’m wildly willing to believe that arrangement might work for some couples without the husband taking advantage of those teachings to abuse his wife. There are, after all, some good men who would never willingly take advantage of their spouses, even if their spouses were perfectly subservient to them. But it seems to me those teachings are bound in many instances to aide and abet abuse. That is, they are a set up for abuse. And if abuse doesn’t happen anyway, then that says more about the good character of the people involved in the relationship than it does about the wisdom of the teachings themselves.


    Tumble Weed writes,

    “…I think they have missed the point, the whole campaign is about women not being treated fairly. But what about men who are abused...does it not matter, is it irrelevant...or are men evil and are the ones who do all the abusing. The whole campaign does it's best to emphasise [sic] how men abuse women...”

    (1) Abuse knows no gender bounds. There are men who abuse women, women who abuse men, men who abuse other men, and women who abuse other women. No abuse is “irrelevant”. All abuse matters. The costs of abuse are devastating regardless of who is doing the abusing and who is being abused.

    (A very good way to become abused, Tumble Weed, is to go find someone who says, “I cannot be an abuser because I am a woman, and women do not abuse men, only men abuse women.” Then get into a relationship with that person. I predict that if you do that, then the chances are good you will learn the hard way more about abuse than you ever wanted to learn!)

    (2) It’s unfortunate that an ad campaign designed to lessen abuse can give the false impression that abuse is only something men do to women. Possibly, a decision was made by the people who launched the campaign to tackle the issue of men abusing women first because that is the most visible kind of abuse (compared to – say – women abusing men). It might also be the predominant kind of abuse. But the real issue is not whether one gender abuses another more than the other gender. That is a trivial issue. The real issues are whether abuse is occurring and to stop it.
     
  5. tumble_weed

    tumble_weed Member

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    huh, Wait that was the exact point that I was trying to make...that any abuse is wrong and that it doesn't just ahppen to females from males :eek:

    well the thing is the campaign should actully try to expose other kinds of abuse which aren't usually predominant... The whole pamphlet is designed for women who are abused by men...and has no information for men who are abused....they have about 6 case studies in there and they all are pretty similar...ie... Man bad...man abuse woman....woman upset...
     
  6. Ardhanariswar

    Ardhanariswar I'm back!

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    well it doesnt negate the fact that men/boys get raped too! but i agree with you, the majority is man abusing a woman.

    head of the household? that was soo 90s. now its all the partnership thing. but we do live in a patriarichal society. did u kno that the whole state of Kannada, India is a matriarachal society? i thought that was facinating.
     
  7. tumble_weed

    tumble_weed Member

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    ha crazy...I would like to see what that's like...actually it would be interesting to see the occurances of abuse over there
     
  8. Ardhanariswar

    Ardhanariswar I'm back!

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    actually, its the men who abuse women. since women hold all the money and ownership of land, the men marry into those families and spend it all.

    even in other states in India besides kannada, during the 80s there was something called bride burning. you kno about the dowries rite? well men would marry rich women, who give them large dowries, and when they wouldnt give any more money, the husbands would burn thier wives until they did. in many hospitals around india, there are sightings of ghosts: young women who walk around in the halls, humming lightly to wedding tunes.

    fortunitly, that doesnt happen anymore, but during the 80s, it was hard to know who to trust, especially with love marriages become the fad.
     
  9. IceFire

    IceFire Member

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    Doesn't happen anymore!!!!!! What are you talking about? It happens everyday to this day!!!!
     
  10. Ardhanariswar

    Ardhanariswar I'm back!

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    eek, sorry. but it didnt happen as much as it did during the 80s. now people actually have a concious, and marry for love instaed of money.

    but it does happen...
     
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