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sex education

Discussion in 'General Debates' started by MoonWater, Nov 27, 2012.

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  1. Lady B

    Lady B noob

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    Ok I see your confused on my stand so let me put it simply. I feel the parents should be responsible and teach their children sex ed at home, with abstinence as the encouragement. I also believe we should teach our children risks and prevention of risks, but not with the premise of 'well since your probably going to do it anyway here is a condom" But with the premise of Condoms protect us from this and this and this and when you are mature enough to handle a sexual relationship I would hope that you have all the information you need to proceed safely. My desire for my children is that marriage is when they proceed into sex, and I of course make my desires known to them, whether it be from a religious or strictly moral background ,they are my children and I just can. As for working with teens and women in the crisis center, they are not interested in my religious beliefs so I try to give them statistics and health and mental risks of their choices, some shrug me off and go back into their promiscuous lifestyles while others see the benefits of valuing the gift of their bodies.

    I am not opposed to both methods being taught in our schools as an option and not manditory and with proper parental involvement, and I get that some parents fail miserably in these areas. For us parents that do need to be involved though, I wish we had imput also and could give our consent before our children are misguided and walk out of class feeling society condones their sexual needs even though their parents do not.

    I of course would like all teenagers to know all risks and prevention of said risks, not my problem at all. I Just feel this should be done at home first and foremost and if not home then in a consensual manner and not be an encouragement but a precautionary education.
     
  2. Falvlun

    Falvlun Earthbending Lemur
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    While I agree with the approach-- encouraging of abstinence until maturity and the information about ways to protect oneself when ready-- I don't understand why you think this information should only come from parents, especially since it is apparent that many parents are not up to this task.
     
  3. Trey of Diamonds

    Trey of Diamonds Well-Known Member

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    And all that is fine for you and your children. But you have said that you will not support a school program that does not teach your views first and others only with parental permission. This is what I find unacceptable. Why should your views be chosen over mine? Why are yours better than mine?
     
  4. Lady B

    Lady B noob

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    And I agree with you here as well, because you are taking the responsibility for your children and that is all I am trying to put forth as well. I don't agree that sex as a teen can ever be healthy, I do not believe their under developed minds can handle all that sex entails, but perhaps I am being close minded somewhat, I can agree to disagree there. I think If we all were to be completely honest with ourselves, we all wish our children/teens would abstain from sex untill maturity and a commited relationship, and If we believe and desire that, it is not wrong to promote it either.
     
  5. Draka

    Draka Wonder Woman

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    It appears she said she agreed with all things being taught but that she wished that they were optional classes instead of mandatory and that parents had a role/input as well. Not that her views should be chosen over yours. Where did you get that?
     
  6. Lady B

    Lady B noob

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    Ok fair enough, but let's turn it around now and you tell me why my views can't be taught as well, and if obviously abstinence is the safest, why can't it be the premise? what I have found in my research of sex ed in schools is that abstinece is the plan B If even put forth at all ,and safe sex is plan A. Why? because the education system knows the kids will fail at abstinence so throw it out the window and proceed to condoms and bananas?
     
  7. Trey of Diamonds

    Trey of Diamonds Well-Known Member

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    Here ya go.

     
  8. Trey of Diamonds

    Trey of Diamonds Well-Known Member

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    Of course your view should be taught and with equal fervor. I only disagree with it being the paramount solution. I agree that ignoring abstinence in Sex-Ed is wrong. As for the education system failing, are we really all that surprised? :rolleyes:

    Abstinence might be the safest but it isn't the best solution for all. The best course of action is to provide all the information so the individual can make the best decision for them.
     
  9. Draka

    Draka Wonder Woman

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    Lady B, were the option given to you, would you pull your child out of a health/sex ed class that covered all information including both options of abstinence and birth control methods? Or would you find such a class acceptable and just supplement your own values at home as you have always done?
     
  10. Me Myself

    Me Myself Back to my username

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    The sex ed class is not supposed to be about morals.

    At least in my version of it, abstinence is encouraged as a way to not have the risks of sex, but there is no shame on non-abstinence, nor is there any moral dilemma on it.

    There is just the real and important piece of information that it is the riskless path when it comes to diseases and babies. Of course, this doesn´t mean it is wrong to have sex, everyone chooses it´s risks, and proper condom use still has a high rate of efficiency on avoiding babies. It lowers when it comes to diseases, so for that it is better to know the partner.

    But all of that is just information, not meant to have any moral connotation. Is information, that´s all.
     
  11. Me Myself

    Me Myself Back to my username

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    As you very well put it, they know so.

    I am not saying it is impossible for all, but for most, it just wont happen.
     
  12. Trey of Diamonds

    Trey of Diamonds Well-Known Member

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    Sounds good to me.
     
  13. Draka

    Draka Wonder Woman

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    Do "most" teens in school really have sex or is that just an assumption? Like we heard when we were in school ourselves, the whole "everybody's doing it" thing when we knew full well everyone wasn't.

    When we take the position that it's normal for kids to have sex at 14/15/16 and such, doesn't that kind of just feed into it even more? As I recall, at that age, I thought it was a lot more talk than actuality. I just couldn't believe, no matter the rumors, that so much sex was really going on. I thought it just sounded like certain people wanted others to think they were having sex. Like they didn't want others to think they were a virgin because there was some stigma attached to being a virgin and they didn't want to be lame.

    These are the issues that should be addressed aren't they? That there is nothing wrong with not having sex. To be yourself and have pride and faith in yourself and to never do something just because you think "everybody else is doing it". Because, more likely than not, everybody else isn't really doing it anyway.
     
  14. no-body

    no-body Well-Known Member

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    Honestly it doesn't really matter. Statistics and facts matter. Strive for and teach abstinence first but have easy access to birth control and prophylactics available. Std and birth rates bare this out. If a parent wants to live in a fantasy world where there children don't have sex that is great, but those of us in reality want to keep people from being hurt and unwanted babies from being born. Unfortunately there is no parent licences which is why the schools must have this information available.
     
  15. Rakhel

    Rakhel Well-Known Member

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    I do think we are painting with a broad brush.
    It would probably be more accurate to say that if kids are going to do it, then nothing you can say is going to stop them. No amount of talking will do. So it is those "kids" we are talking about. The ones that don't care what you have to say and think that they know best, and "It's my body! I'll do what I want!"
     
  16. Falvlun

    Falvlun Earthbending Lemur
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    I'm curious myself about this. From talking with my college girlfriends, I think the usual age was a little later, 17-19. Maybe younger for boys?
     
  17. Trey of Diamonds

    Trey of Diamonds Well-Known Member

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    The statistics will vary greatly from school to school. When I was in high school in the 80s there was a fair amount of sex going on and not just the juniors and seniors either. But I think you're correct that people seem to think its like a Porkys movie or something and it isn't.
     
  18. Trey of Diamonds

    Trey of Diamonds Well-Known Member

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    If you've gotten to the point where no amount of talking as an effect then you have already lost. If you have been honest and non-judgmental from an early age, your teenager is more likely to pay attention, even if they might not want you to know it. They do have a reputation to uphold after all.

    For a child, you explain sex as something adults do. For an adolescent who thinks they are an adult, you explain the dangers and complications of sex and best ways to avoid them. Abstinence and protection get equal time. But even more important, explain the emotional and spiritual dangers. How feelings can get hurt and the potential for betrayal. And most importantly is that neither party should feel forced into anything. If both are not ready and eager then its best to back off until they are.

    If you have focused your teachings on helping the child make their own decisions all of this should be, if not easy, at least not hell on Earth. But if the relationship between parent and child is nothing but confrontation it doesn't really matter what you do. It's already over.
     
  19. Rakhel

    Rakhel Well-Known Member

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    I agree and I have done this with my teens and will do so with my younger ones when the time is right.
    However, I am saying that Draka is right to a point.
    "Everyone is doing it." doesn't really apply to everyone. I wasn't having sex in my teens and I knew of only 10 in a school of 500 that were known to be sexually active. It was my experience that more kids were drinking and/or do drugs than they were having sex, though in most cases those activities do go hand in hand.
     
  20. Amechania

    Amechania Daimona of the Helpless

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    Wow, did we go to different schools! You're high school sounds like my grammar school.
     
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