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sex education

Discussion in 'General Debates' started by MoonWater, Nov 27, 2012.

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  1. Koldo

    Koldo Incredible Member

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    Why do you think it is unhealthy?
    Or to better put it, a worse option than having sex at that age?
     
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  2. Draka

    Draka Wonder Woman

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    Out of curiosity, just what is unhealthy about not having sex? Also, why should it be unlikely that the majority of teens opt not to have sex until they are older and in a committed relationship? If such values are taught from a young age while still keeping open lines of communication about sex it seems quite likely to me.

    I think far too often now we are given to the attitude of "they will do it anyway so why bother"? As society has given in to this attitude we have seen more and more children having children. Teenage pregnancy rates have only increased throughout the years. So what would be so wrong with instead of just giving in to the attitude of "they will do it anyway" stressing to our children that it is best to wait? I mean, we can still be responsible and teach all the required basics they will need to know, but what is wrong with encouraging them to wait?
     
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  3. Sunstone

    Sunstone De Diablo Del Fora
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    I substantially agree with you, but would add the caveat that it seems to me whether abstinence is healthy or unhealthy largely depends on an individual's temperament and circumstances. For some kids, it seems a pretty healthy choice during some periods of their lives. For others, it's all but a disaster during some periods of their lives.
     
  4. Lady B

    Lady B noob

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    BIg Giant Hug to you!!!
     
  5. Draka

    Draka Wonder Woman

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    I'm sorry, but I'm rather confused. Can someone please explain to me how not having sex is somehow unhealthy or disastrous? How does someone choosing to not have sex at the age of 14 or 15 or 16 royally screw up their lives? I completely don't understand this.
     
  6. Koldo

    Koldo Incredible Member

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    My opinion is pretty much in line with what Draka said on that post.
    Do i get a big giant hug too? :p
     
  7. Lady B

    Lady B noob

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    BIG GIANT HUG TO YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :hug: I am just so thrilled I am not alone anymore!
    sometimes I feel like dang.....
     
    #67 Lady B, Nov 28, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2012
  8. Sunstone

    Sunstone De Diablo Del Fora
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    Involuntary abstinence -- that is, abstinence that is not deeply rooted in one's emotional needs, such as abstinence that is the mere result of a vow -- seems often enough linked to dysfunctional behavior. Such as a difficulty or inability to see the other sex as much more than a sex object. At least, that's been my experience. Your own mileage may vary.
     
  9. Trey of Diamonds

    Trey of Diamonds Well-Known Member

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    I agree that encouraging them to wait is a good idea but that is not how I see the abstinence crowd's opinion. When abstinence is taught as the only moral solution to sexual desire it represses the emotional and spiritual well being of the person in question.

    I feel that as a parent my job it to teach my child how to make decisions based on a well informed analysis of the topic at hand. Not to force my decisions down their throat. So if I want my daughter to make good sound decisions she needs to know as much of the facts as possible rather than simply begging for abstinence because I'm to cowardly to discuss sex or proud to allow someone else to discuss sex with her.

    When I said abstinence was unhealthy I meant that forced abstinence and the continued idea that anything other than abstinence is morally wrong is what is unhealthy. Not that a person who chooses abstinence is unhealthy. I should have been more specific.

    The term "they will do it anyway" is incorrect. It should read, "they will do what they decide to do anyway". Our job is to make help them reach a maturity to make the best decisions they can.
     
  10. Draka

    Draka Wonder Woman

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    Thank you.

    I also would like to point out here that this issue is obviously not just a religious issue. As dear Lady B here is a Christian and I a Pagan. It is not religious, it is a matter of logic and what is best for our children. What makes sense. Having sex has consequences, period. Those consequences are not just physical, but mental and emotional as well. It is just simply preferable that those consequences be handled when a person is as mature as possible, and let's face it, even some adults aren't all that mature. So why not encourage our children to wait? Put their education and their childhood first? They'll have plenty of time for sex and adult relationships later. And if they slip...at least we've educated them with the proper precautions and hopefully they've listened.
     
  11. Trey of Diamonds

    Trey of Diamonds Well-Known Member

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    See my answer to Draka.
     
  12. Sunstone

    Sunstone De Diablo Del Fora
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    In at least one of his books, even James Dobson admits that the idea that anything other than abstinence is morally wrong can -- and often does -- create sexual problems in couples who have been practicing it before marriage. He puts it rather "delicately" though, while yet acknowledging it.
     
  13. Lady B

    Lady B noob

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    A vow to abstinence is voluntary and commendable, Many teens have taken this stand, they even have a TV special about it, I don't see they are dysfunctional at all.I think some people who are opposed to teaching abstinence may have The movie 'Carrie' ingrained in their minds :cool: " I see your dirty pillows"
     
  14. Draka

    Draka Wonder Woman

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    Throughout all this though, all I have seen is everyone piling on Lady B as if she is promoting Abstinence Only. I haven't taken her posts to mean that at all, though she can correct me if I am wrong. It's as if anyone here sees anyone else promote the idea of encouraging children to wait to have sex and BOOM everyone pounces on them for "Abstinence Only". I don't think she ever said that. As I have said, teach kids everything, cover all the bases, keep the lines of communication open, but above all...encourage them to wait as long as they can and try to hold out until they are older and in a committed relationship. I truly don't see what is wrong with that.
     
  15. Sunstone

    Sunstone De Diablo Del Fora
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    As I said, your own experience may differ from mine (and others). I don't presume to speak for everyone. That would be arrogance, in my book.
     
  16. Trey of Diamonds

    Trey of Diamonds Well-Known Member

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    Nothing is wrong with that. I just see Lady B's posts differently and she has not corrected my perception. As I have quoted from here she said that any program she would support must push abstinence first and get parental permission to teach any other option. To me this implies she is Abstinence Only and until she gives me a reason to think otherwise that is my perception.

    As for your views I totally agree with them. One question for clarification though, how old should they be before they should start exploring their sexuality. My general rule is 16 and up, preferable up. My guess is that Lady B would push for abstinence until marriage but she'll have to let us know for sure.
     
  17. Koldo

    Koldo Incredible Member

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    Typically, abstinence ( in general ) implies your mind denying the fulfillment of your urges. So it is not deeply rooted on one's emotional needs, it is rather rooted on one's conscious mind. ( Or perhaps, you may be using 'emotional needs' as something different from what i understand by this term )

    Do you consider abstinence ( in general ) to be linked to dysfunctional behavior?
     
  18. Sunstone

    Sunstone De Diablo Del Fora
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    I meant what I said. You have a right to your opinion, of course, but it seems obvious to me that we have different life experiences here, and hence a difference of opinion.

    Not necessarily in general. I don't know that because I've never collected statistics on it. But I believe I have seen it linked to dysfunctional behavior often enough to be noteworthy.
     
  19. Draka

    Draka Wonder Woman

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    For my own children, I'd be happiest if they were not to have sex until they were out of my home to be honest :p Momma don't want to be raisin' no grandbabies. :D I realize that that may be wishful thinking, but I'd hope that they'd at least hold out until around 17 or so if it came down to it.

    It is possible, my parents, my mother in particular, was quite open with me, I was quite educated on the subject, had several boyfriends in high school...and I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18, in the military, and engaged to be married. I chose not to have sex as a teen (well, as a kid in high school at least). I hope I can raise my kids to have the same judgment.
     
  20. Koldo

    Koldo Incredible Member

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    This seems far more reasonable. I have no objections to make. ;)
     
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