Sex before marriage?????

[Glaurung]

Sex pre-dates marriage.

Most humans did not remain as unconnected, cave dwelling hunter gathers. Civilisation happened and with it its trappings. With society almost always comes the requirement that sex occur in formalised relationships recognised by others.

The idea that free love is the 'natural' state of humanity is bunk when you actually look at the various civilisations humans have constructed. All of them have some notion of marriage. And all of them proscribed sexual immorality as they saw it, some more harshly than others albeit.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Most humans did not remain as unconnected, cave dwelling hunter gathers.

Unfortunately.

Civilisation happened and with it its trappings. With society almost always comes the requirement that sex occur in formalised relationships recognised by others.

But certainly not universally. Pre-Christian Europe had some pretty loose views of premarital sex. Native American cultures also had differing views on it. I am sure a slew of examples can be found in every region on Earth. Even with marital expectations on sex, cultures can't seem to shake off the desire to copulate outside of mores. Sex came before marriage.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

The idea that free love is the 'natural' state of humanity is bunk when you actually look at the various civilisations humans have constructed. All of them have some notion of marriage. And all of them proscribed sexual immorality as they saw it, some more harshly than others albeit.

There are always rules with sex, even in other animals. But with humans and marriage, our cultural diversity shows that sexuality is simply a part of the complex social dynamics we construct. Sex is always free beyond these. Remove the cultural expectations and you find that humans are diverse in their sexual desires or lack thereof. Sex is biological, ruled by hormones first, culture second.

 

[Wasp]

If any kind of sexual contact is not permitted before marriage, how can there be a "but"?

Stating that "actual sex is only considered at the point of penetration, and considered more of a serious sin if done before marriage" implies that oral sex is less of a sin. That sounds like what happened in the US when teens started taking "purity pledges". Manual and oral sex became the standard (with girls giving and boys receiving).

Nothing is permitted but if one does do something there are different levels of the seriousness of it. There are also Muslims who think certain things are allowed.

 

[Spartan]

Well, there we have the solution, don't we?

Have wanton sex.
Repent.
Have wanton sex.
Repent.
Rinse and Repeat.
Die.
Give a finger to Corinthians and Revs.
Go to Heaven.

In your dreams.

 

[Shad]

In the Biblical Law (Torah), sex is not permitted before marrage.

However, if a boyfriend and Girlfriend were to engage in sex before marrage, and caugt, the only sanction against them will be that they must get married.
In this case, a man will never be allowed to divorce the women, and he will have to support her for the rest of his life. Unlike a man who waited untill marrage to engage in sex. he will have the right to divorce later in life with obvious reason such as her cheating etc.

There are laws on Adultery which is totally different from the above.
These two people must be engaged to each other. If one was engaged to someone else, that person will be guilty of Adultery.
If the girl claimed the person raped the her, and she cried out, He will be guilty of adultery, and she is inocent.
If she did not cry out for help, she is also guilty.

If any married or betrothed person has sex with someone else, and both consent, both are guilty.

The sanction for adultery is death.

The above law is logical, and fair considering the day and age.

In Islam, If a girl only dates a non Muslim, she will be killed to protect the honnor of her family.
If she gets raped, and gets pregnant, she will be killed because she was out of sight of her Father, Brother, or uncle.
No further comment on Sharia Law.

So, what you say is you want to test the man in sex to find out if he is a good man.
Wow!
You do set very low standards to obtain a husband dont you.
You are collecting sex lust low life **** makers, and want to choose the best out of the worst.
I dont say you should not have sex before marrage, but I chose my wife not because of sex, but because she was a very conservative, kind, lovely, softhearted, hard working woman, and she gave me the best children and grand children anyone can hope for.
This is why I never bothered to cheat on her, and we are married for 35 years already.
Now I wanted to divorce her about 3 times, and I am sure she wanted to put poison in my coffy many times (Not realy)
But, I chose my wife with her clothing on, and she is still the most beautifull women I know.
I feel sick everytime a **** tries to get my attention.

However, it is your choice to live the way you want too.
Just remember, all the tears and pain one day will be because of the Choice you made now.
Greetings in the Name of Jesus Christ.
The one who loves us the most.

Silence is not consent. It is silence.

 

[Spartan]

Correction: they will not enter into "Christian heaven" ... fortunately there are other heavens ... with different rules.

Nope. Not a chance. And there will be many Old Testament Jews in that "so-called" Christian heaven also, based on Genesis 15:6, etc.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Nope. Not a chance.

That's a pretty confident statement. What makes you certain there are no other heavens with different rules?

 

[Spartan]

That's a pretty confident statement. What makes you certain there are no other heavens with different rules?

I've seen no evidence for other heavens.

 

[ChristineM]

Historically, sex before marriage has been a very common taboo particularly for women. Yes, depending on the civilisation the taboo was often in practice much looser for men. I'm not claiming that the past was 'fair' but non-Christian/non-Western societies were not and are not the free love paradises some seem to imagine they were. In fact, some were and still are downright puritanical by modern western standards.

I think i read different history books than you do

Some, non christian religion did Indeed try to block pre marital sex and pharmacies did (still do) roaring trade in under the counter phials of fake blood.

Christianity was never that much into advertising but pre marital sex was rife in the upper and lower echelon.

Hormones will beat religious restrictions every time

 

[JJ50]

Mary was supposedly got pregnant by god before she married Joseph, as there was no IVF in those days, it must have had sex with her!

 

[ChristineM]

Mary was supposedly got pregnant by god before she married Joseph, as there was no IVF in those days, it must have had sex with her!

Or someone must have

Look up Tiberius Julius Abdes Pantera

 

[Shad]

I will say this for me, noway am I getting involved with a man who does not want to touch me before marriage nope!I

You are conflating things here. Waiting until marriage is not the same as not wanting to touch you. It is excising self-control based on a code of conduct.

 

[BilliardsBall]

So different churches and different religions do different things.

However , the Evangelical conservative Christian church many not all have a certain values before marriage rules. I am not picking on Christianity, there are probably other religions who have stricter rules.So if anyone from other religions have certain view points don't be afraid to share them.

It was popular to have Christian parents for while back to pick out the spouse for their child. Also many only date someone if they are going to marry them. Dating around is not accepted.

Many many Christians do not believe ins ex before marriage , and someone do not even believe in touching before marriage!

Christians say statistics prove the loner you wait on sex the better your sex life will be, this maybe true statistics I don't know.

I will say this for me, noway am I getting involved with a man who does not want to touch me before marriage nope!I think having sex before marriage is a good thing for me. I am not waiting and I want to be able to trust my spouse that we are right for each other in bed as well as out.

So whats you belief set on sex before marriage and also how you date? By dating I mean, is dating around ok? Do you select your child's spouse? Do you just date to marry only? If you don't have sex before marriage are you aloud to hold hands hug kiss that type of thing? What about oral sex or 3rd base?

If we restate sex before marriage as sex before strong commitment, we have:

*STDs before strong commitment

*Unplanned pregnancy before " "

*Financial, emotional, physical woe before " "

 

[ecco]

Of course, but as soon as you get anything even remotely approaching a complex society you have some notion of marriage. And violation of its norms often got you killed.

The main civilizational disagreement was not on the necessity of marriage, but on its nature. The permissibility of divorce and the number of wives you could take.

But that's not what you said.

Indeed, but pre-marital relationships weren't really a thing until fairly recently.

If you want to assert that humans had a notion of marriage from the time we were remotely approaching a complex society, then that is a long time. During all that time people had premarital sex. So, premarital sex is not a fairly recent development.

 

[ecco]

I'm going to end up at the wrong of God on a lot of things when I die. One of those things is that I'll be having sex before marriage.

You will be having? How old are you?

I'm not a virgin, and I will be having more sex, and before marriage.

Squiggle, wiggle. That's not what your previous post implied.

One of those things is that I'll be having sex before marriage.​

-as opposed to-

One of those things is that I'll be having more sex before marriage.​

-or-

One of those things is that I'll continue to have sex before marriage.​

See the difference?

At least you should be glad that people actually take the time to carefully read your posts.

 

[JJ50]

Or someone must have

Look up Tiberius Julius Abdes Pantera

As it was highly unlikely to be a god who got her pregnant it was much more likely it was either Joseph or another guy. The crazy virgin birth story was most likely created to cover up Mary being in the family way before she married Joseph.

 

[ecco]

Not the case, there may have been a few years in middle class american society where sex before marriage was taboo, much of the rest of the world had very different to ideas, even if preaching abstenence there has been something if a double standard.

REMEMBER THE BUNDLING BED...

The Awkward 17th-Century Dating Practice That Saw Teens Get Bundled Into Bags
Contemporary preacher Jonathan Edwards outwardly spoke against bundling as a risky practice teetering on the edge of dangerous promiscuity, writing that this seemingly new sexual awakening of common people would “ruin a person’s reputation and be looked upon as sufficient evidences of a prostitute” had it happened in any other country; he also worried about pregnancies preceding wedlock.Thelatter was probably a legitimate fear; pregnancies following bundling weren’t unheard of, and one in 10 of every first child born in colonial America was born eight months after marriage. One poem of the time, reprinted by Stiles, serves as a cautionary tale:

A bundling couple went to bed
With all their clothes from foot to head;
That the defense might seem complete
Each one was wrapped in a sheet
But oh, this bundling’s such a witch
The man of her did catch the itch,
And so provoked was the wretch
That she of his a ******* catch’d.

​

For clarification, RF *'d a very legitimate word, B-----d, which means an offspring conceived out of wedlock.

 

[Glaurung]

If you want to assert that humans had a notion of marriage from the time we were remotely approaching a complex society, then that is a long time. During all that time people had premarital sex. So, premarital sex is not a fairly recent development.

Well no, because to speak of such people in such terms is meaningless.

Not that I would imagine ancient hunter gathers were all that free love anyway. "Cheat on Cronk and Cronk smash woman skull" kind of deal. Until Cronk is killed by a rival that is.

 

[Prestor John]

So different churches and different religions do different things.

However , the Evangelical conservative Christian church many not all have a certain values before marriage rules. I am not picking on Christianity, there are probably other religions who have stricter rules.So if anyone from other religions have certain view points don't be afraid to share them.

It was popular to have Christian parents for while back to pick out the spouse for their child. Also many only date someone if they are going to marry them. Dating around is not accepted.

Many many Christians do not believe ins ex before marriage , and someone do not even believe in touching before marriage!

Christians say statistics prove the loner you wait on sex the better your sex life will be, this maybe true statistics I don't know.

I will say this for me, noway am I getting involved with a man who does not want to touch me before marriage nope!I think having sex before marriage is a good thing for me. I am not waiting and I want to be able to trust my spouse that we are right for each other in bed as well as out.

So whats you belief set on sex before marriage and also how you date? By dating I mean, is dating around ok? Do you select your child's spouse? Do you just date to marry only? If you don't have sex before marriage are you aloud to hold hands hug kiss that type of thing? What about oral sex or 3rd base?

I believe that there should be no sex before marriage.

Dating should be viewed as a screening process. You are looking for your eternal mate.

Touching, hugging and even kissing are encouraged when appropriate.

Just be careful.

No sexual conduct of any kind should take place.

I personally would consider such conduct to be committing the sin of adultery. It does not matter if you are not yet married. You are cheating on your future eternal mate and they deserve to have you all to themselves.

I'm not 100% opposed to the idea of parents choosing partners, as long as it is agreed upon by all involved.

No one should be forced into a marriage.

On another note, not sure how relevant you would consider it, but I believe that all homosexual practices should be avoid and if committed repented of.

That would include the idea of "same-sex marriage".

 

[JJ50]

I believe that there should be no sex before marriage.

Dating should be viewed as a screening process. You are looking for your eternal mate.

Touching, hugging and even kissing are encouraged when appropriate.

Just be careful.

No sexual conduct of any kind should take place.

I personally would consider such conduct to be committing the sin of adultery. It does not matter if you are not yet married. You are cheating on your future eternal mate and they deserve to have you all to themselves.

I'm not 100% opposed to the idea of parents choosing partners, as long as it is agreed upon by all involved.

No one should be forced into a marriage.

On another note, not sure how relevant you would consider it, but I believe that all homosexual practices should be avoid and if committed repented of.

That would include the idea of "same-sex marriage".

What a crazy post!