sex before marriage - why is it not allowed?

[nnmartin]

Sex is a holy, biological function needed by the human race.

Obsession with it is wrong, I can see - but how can it be banned outright if it is a natural act?

Marriage, no marriage, not really relevant as far as the body is concerned.

does anyone care to defend the position of no pre-marital sex allowed?

 

[blackout]

It is allowed.

At least in my country.
I don't see anyone being dragged to court or thrown in jail over it.

I am truly grateful that (the christian or islamic) 'god' doesn't rule or run my country.

Those gods already have their own heavens to rule anyway.
Why be greedy?

 

[Sunstone]

Wow, this thread takes me back in time, Martin! Premarital sex was an issue 40 or more years ago. But polls nowadays consistently show that nine out of ten American couples have sex before marriage. The issue has been settled in America, at least: The only people still opposed to premarital sex are, like the Flat Earth Society of Texas, well in the minority.

 

[FearGod]

Sex is a holy, biological function needed by the human race.

Obsession with it is wrong, I can see - but how can it be banned outright if it is a natural act?

Marriage, no marriage, not really relevant as far as the body is concerned.

does anyone care to defend the position of no pre-marital sex allowed?

Yes,i do agree,that is the natural thing,sex is for pleasure,not only for reproduction.
Dogs are an example.

Why we need religion to manage such things.

girls and boys in some countries should go in a rally asking for sex freedom,
boys should address their rally "we want to **** girls before marriage" and girls
should say " we want to be ****** by boys before marriage"

 

[Kathryn]

Wow, this thread takes me back in time, Martin! Premarital sex was an issue 40 or more years ago. But polls nowadays consistently show that nine out of ten American couples have sex before marriage. The issue has been settled: The only people still opposed to premarital sex are, like the Flat Earth Society of Texas, well in the minority.

Actually there's not a "Flat Earth Society of Texas." The Flat Earth Society was founded in the UK, and later led by a man from California. There was also an active group out of New York for awhile.

There is also a "Flat Earth Society of Canada."

Flat Earth Society - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[arthra]

Sex is a holy, biological function needed by the human race.

Obsession with it is wrong, I can see - but how can it be banned outright if it is a natural act?

Marriage, no marriage, not really relevant as far as the body is concerned.

does anyone care to defend the position of no pre-marital sex allowed?

Well a couple of things...

First of all it's not a good example to set for others...

Once you have a daughter of your own you will want her to have good standards and examples to follow.

If there are children from pre-marital sexual relations there will be questions about paternity and responsibility...again later in life this can have ramifications.

To have pre-marital sexual relations early in life can lead to problems in schooling and employment for young people... unwanted pregnancies...children falling through the cracks as some say.. Families that are broken and divided by mixed paternity and so on.

So I think better examples need to be set..

Marriage as an institution is laudable and can bind families together... encourage responsibility and strengthen social bonds. Pre-mariatl sexual relations tends to do the opposite.

 

[james2ko]

Sex is a holy, biological function needed by the human race.

Obsession with it is wrong, I can see - but how can it be banned outright if it is a natural act?

Marriage, no marriage, not really relevant as far as the body is concerned.

does anyone care to defend the position of no pre-marital sex allowed?

Yes, sex is holy which not only places this act on a natural, physical plane but on a spiritual one as well. By implication, if performed contrary to the instructions given by its Creator, it becomes unholy thus exacting the not so obvious spiritual penalties, and at times, the obvious physical penalties as well.

 

[Penumbra]

It seems to me that agreeing to be with someone forever without already having lived with them and been sexually active with them, is unwise.

The observation that so many people have sex before marriage, despite following religions or groups that advocate waiting for marriage, is also telling. Delaying satisfying an important biological urge for a decade or so past the point where it starts to exist, doesn't sound psychologically healthy. Groups that say if one doesn't wait that long, then you're made a mistake or a sin, are poor moral guides, in my view.

 

[helpmeplease]

Yes,i do agree,that is the natural thing,sex is for pleasure,not only for reproduction.
Dogs are an example.

Why we need religion to manage such things.

girls and boys in some countries should go in a rally asking for sex freedom,
boys should address their rally "we want to **** girls before marriage" and girls
should say " we want to be ****** by boys before marriage"

The most meritorious thing you've ever said trruth............woohoo.

 

[Badran]

The idea of not having premarital sex for me is revolved around the idea of not having sex with someone you're not going to, or are, committed to.

That is, in my view, if you're committed to that person (as in you've passed the point that they are more or less your partner and are acting based on such - under whatever norms and social nonsense surrounding this), you've fulfilled it.

Put briefly, i view it as an idea aimed at promoting committed relationships rather than casual sex.

One aspect to put in mind is that religions which promoted this, promoted it at a time where there was no such thing as birth control of any kind, or any sexual safety whatsoever. So that, might explain the emphasis put on it.

 

[TheKnight]

I think there are many reasons for this. Socially speaking, we seem to believe it is inappropriate for people under 18 to get married. That being said, people want to have sex long before 18 and usually will if the opportunity presents itself.

Either way, while I'm no stickler about when people should have sex in relation to marriage I do think that there should be a significant commitment that exists between two people before they do have sex. The primary considerations in staying with a person forever should be the character of the person, not such much their sexual abilities and tastes.

Religiously speaking, the prohibition is a lot more like a precaution than anything. Rushing into sex without a strong bond already existing can damage a relationship. The question becomes how strong the bond needs to be. In Judaism (at least in the traditional world) the bond needs to be strong enough that the two people are willing to be married.

 

[Penumbra]

One aspect to put in mind is that religions which promoted this, promoted it at a time where there was no such thing as birth control of any kind, or any sexual safety whatsoever. So that, might explain the emphasis put on it.

Yes, that is true.

I think people also married younger, and didn't do this whole business of years of dating a person before getting married to them.

 

[Caladan]

does anyone care to defend the position of no pre-marital sex allowed?

Out of curiousity, are there any people around you who preach you about pre-martial sex?
In over 30 years of living, not a single person evern came up to me and told me I shouldn't have sex before marriage.

 

[Caladan]

Hell. I think that with half the women I've been with the relationship started with sex first.

 

[helpmeplease]

The idea of not having premarital sex for me is revolved around the idea of not having sex with someone you're not going to, or are, committed to.

That is, in my view, if you're committed to that person (as in you've passed the point that they are more or less your partner and are acting based on such - under whatever norms and social nonsense surrounding this), you've fulfilled it.

Put briefly, i view it as an idea aimed at promoting committed relationships rather than casual sex.

One aspect to put in mind is that religions which promoted this, promoted it at a time where there was no such thing as birth control of any kind, or any sexual safety whatsoever. So that, might explain the emphasis put on it.

What an excellent post.:clap

 

[Super Universe]

Sex is a holy, biological function needed by the human race.

Obsession with it is wrong, I can see - but how can it be banned outright if it is a natural act?

Marriage, no marriage, not really relevant as far as the body is concerned.

does anyone care to defend the position of no pre-marital sex allowed?

In ancient times men did not value women. To them, women were weak, but women were necessary to provide a son so fathers came up with the bride price the groom's family would pay for her. This was so the girls family could get something in return for having wasted food on raising a daughter.

It was also a means of control, the men would decide who their daughter's married, not the daughter. The father would choose a family to improve his own business connections, or he would choose the richest family and bargain for a high bride price.

In order for the daughter to have any value at all she had to be a virgin, so, that meant no sex before marriage. This was the culture of the ancient people so, naturally, this is what was written in the books of the bible.

 

[Madhuri]

Put briefly, i view it as an idea aimed at promoting committed relationships rather than casual sex.

One aspect to put in mind is that religions which promoted this, promoted it at a time where there was no such thing as birth control of any kind, or any sexual safety whatsoever. So that, might explain the emphasis put on it.

This is what I was going to say.

 

[arthra]

Yes, sex is holy which not only places this act on a natural, physical plane but on a spiritual one as well. By implication, if performed contrary to the instructions given by its Creator, it becomes unholy thus exacting the not so obvious spiritual penalties, and at times, the obvious physical penalties as well.

In my post I neglected to mention that for me also marriage is a spiritual bond... and my religion forbids sex outside marriage. In Baha'i marriage you also need the consent of all living parents of the prospective bride/groom to be married...so usually support from the extended family is a given in this.

I was going to suggest that learning to exert some self control and abstain can be a good thing for youth.

There is still a really big problem with pre-marital sex among young people around where I live... and along with that comes some attendent woes..sexually transmitted diseases...multiple partners overtime

Premarital Sex High Among Youth Today - Sex Before Marriage - Sexual Attitudes and Risk Among Youngsters » Pre-Marital Sex

Premarital sex high among youth today!

Increasing rates of sexually transmitted diseases:

Premarital sex, birth rates, STD increasing among U.S. teens

 

[nnmartin]

If there are children from pre-marital sexual relations there will be questions about paternity and responsibility...again later in life this can have ramifications.

but who cares about paternity - sex and reproduction occurs in accordance with Nature's design, so must be a correct action.

Marriage as an institution is laudable and can bind families together... encourage responsibility and strengthen social bonds. Pre-mariatl sexual relations tends to do the opposite.

marriage is just a man made concept, trying to diminish the power of Nature's force.

God gives life through the body - man tries to stop this by creating social constrictions - this is therefore, going against God's order.

 

[nnmartin]

Yes, sex is holy which not only places this act on a natural, physical plane but on a spiritual one as well. By implication, if performed contrary to the instructions given by its Creator, it becomes unholy thus exacting the not so obvious spiritual penalties, and at times, the obvious physical penalties as well.

so were people allowed to have sex before marriage in pre-Biblical times,

and if they were allowed to do so then, then why not now?

But the order given by the creator is to propagate the human race, otherwise why would we born with this instinct?

How about when we were still apes, did we need to get married then?

Nature is the Creator here, and thus Nature determines what we must do.