Self control diminishing

[The Sum of Awe]

Hmm. There was a time I had almost a year straight of following a routine and it went well. I had alarms on my phone that I followed religiously: An early-ish time to wake up, a routine after waking up (stretches, showering, eating healthy breakfast), an alarm to write for 2-4 hours, an alarm to eat, an alarm to relax mindlessly for another 2-4 hours, an alarm for chores, and an alarm for bed (and my night routine: stretches, brushing teeth, etc)

I've since fallen into borderline hedonism. I mean, I'm not nearly as bad as I was in my early twenties where I was always wasted, ate only junk, never brushed my teeth, didn't care about anything at all... but I've still gotten fairly careless about things and I'm trying to pull myself back into a routine-like lifestyle again. It seemed like I was happiest at that time.

I tried waking up early, the last two days I just couldn't will myself out of bed. On work days I can, because I know I have no choice, but when it comes to my days off well I just have no willpower.

I tried implementing meditation into my life. I did it for a few days (15 minutes in the morning - 15 at night before bed) but the last two days I also had no willpower to do that.

Chores? Nah, I tell myself "Well I can do them later, I'll get some writing done in my novel now." I go to my novel and keep getting distracted because I'm very stuck at this certain part. So I come back to these forums every 5 minutes hoping for a new notification or a new interesting thread, but there can't be something every five minutes. So then I go to reddit and there's of course nothing there either...

Ugh! I've got to get better at this. At least I'm aware of the problem, that's a start. Any advice would be good.

EDIT: I have no idea why I decided to post this in psychology. I mean, it may be related to psychological issue of not focusing and no self control, but... yeah, whatever.

 

[JustGeorge]

Hmm. There was a time I had almost a year straight of following a routine and it went well. I had alarms on my phone that I followed religiously: An early-ish time to wake up, a routine after waking up (stretches, showering, eating healthy breakfast), an alarm to write for 2-4 hours, an alarm to eat, an alarm to relax mindlessly for another 2-4 hours, an alarm for chores, and an alarm for bed (and my night routine: stretches, brushing teeth, etc)

I've since fallen into borderline hedonism. I mean, I'm not nearly as bad as I was in my early twenties where I was always wasted, ate only junk, never brushed my teeth, didn't care about anything at all... but I've still gotten fairly careless about things and I'm trying to pull myself back into a routine-like lifestyle again. It seemed like I was happiest at that time.

I tried waking up early, the last two days I just couldn't will myself out of bed. On work days I can, because I know I have no choice, but when it comes to my days off well I just have no willpower.

I tried implementing meditation into my life. I did it for a few days (15 minutes in the morning - 15 at night before bed) but the last two days I also had no willpower to do that.

Chores? Nah, I tell myself "Well I can do them later, I'll get some writing done in my novel now." I go to my novel and keep getting distracted because I'm very stuck at this certain part. So I come back to these forums every 5 minutes hoping for a new notification or a new interesting thread, but there can't be something every five minutes. So then I go to reddit and there's of course nothing there either...

Ugh! I've got to get better at this. At least I'm aware of the problem, that's a start. Any advice would be good.

EDIT: I have no idea why I decided to post this in psychology. I mean, it may be related to psychological issue of not focusing and no self control, but... yeah, whatever.

Why do you think you're derailing? Do you have an unmet need that you're trying to make up for, or that these 'urges' to do other things is trying to get you to fill?

 

[Exaltist Ethan]

The quicker you make the healthy habits, well, habits, again, the easier it will be for you to routinely do them again.

I typically don't have this problem. When it gets cold I avoid taking out the trash because I don't want to be in the cold, or the snow. But I have my own routines and do them often enough that chores really aren't a chore for me to do. But I sincerely hope you get back on track and are able to do the things you need to do.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Why do you think you're derailing? Do you have an unmet need that you're trying to make up for, or that these 'urges' to do other things is trying to get you to fill?

Those are good explanations for what may be happening, and it's likely both. I often feel unfulfilled regardless of what I accomplish.

 

[JustGeorge]

Those are good explanations for what may be happening, and it's likely both. I often feel unfulfilled regardless of what I accomplish.

It might be good to explore why you feel that way.

You say you feel unfulfilled regardless of what you accomplish... do you know what it is you want to accomplish? And I mean really want... not just what you feel you should be doing.

Sometimes accomplishing things you feel you should be doing but you don't really care about don't bring any sense of accomplishment, in my experience.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

It might be good to explore why you feel that way.

You say you feel unfulfilled regardless of what you accomplish... do you know what it is you want to accomplish? And I mean really want... not just what you feel you should be doing.

Sometimes accomplishing things you feel you should be doing but you don't really care about don't bring any sense of accomplishment, in my experience.

This is definitely something to think about. Thank you!

 

[stvdv]

Ugh! I've got to get better at this. At least I'm aware of the problem,

that's a start.

True

But from there to get back on track might still take years....or hopefully in your case days

Any advice would be good

It was as if I was reading my own life story when reading your OP
Hence I can't give advice, as I have not solved it yet
IF I solve it, I will share it (Deo Volente)

Until then
Best of luck to solve it before I solve it
And hopefully share it

 

[stvdv]

I have no idea why I decided to post this in psychology

I do have an idea about that

It has to do with your ego...so psychology does makes total sense

it may be related to psychological issue of not focusing and no self control, but... yeah, whatever.

And it definitely has to do with "no self control"

This is a very intriguing issue, and offers us an opportunity to learn tremendously

I give you my major lesson I learned from this...you asked for it, remember.!!!
"I do not Love myself"

Solve that, will solve this issue

 

[The Sum of Awe]

I do have an idea about that

It has to do with your ego...so psychology does makes total sense


And it definitely has to do with "no self control"

This is a very intriguing issue, and offers us an opportunity to learn tremendously

I give you my major lesson I learned from this...you asked for it, remember.!!!
"I do not Love myself"

Solve that, will solve this issue

I think I do love myself. But I'll think on it, perhaps I could love myself more.

 

[stvdv]

I think I do love myself

IF you Love your self
THEN you never do anything that harms your self

I can only speak for my self
I do not Love my self
With this criteria

 

[The Sum of Awe]

IF you Love your self
THEN you never do anything that harms your self

I can only speak for my self
I do not Love my self
With this criteria

That's a good point. Have you been doing anything to make yourself love yourself more? And do you mind if I ask what might be the reason you do not love yourself?

 

[stvdv]

That's a good point.

Thanks

Have you been doing anything to make yourself love yourself more?

Yes

And do you mind if I ask what might be the reason you do not love yourself?

a) I did not do enough
b) I did not do the right thing
c) The wheel of karma takes a long time to slow down

 

[wellwisher]

When I was younger and used to develop new ideas, I used to cycle between structuring and scrambling. Structuring was the thinking mode where new ideas would flow and lead to further organizing of the ideas with logic and inference. Once I reach a certain point of structure, I would try to stop the creative process and erase the results from my mind, with some type of distraction. The goal was to clean the slate and start again but with fresh eyes, often from another direction. The scramble might require going for a long tiring walk or partying. Once I went back to structure mode, new ways of seeing things would appear.

Lack of focus and lack of structure is part of this cycling processing. In your case, it appears you're more or less stuck in scramble mode. One way to deal with this is to make small short term commitments to the structuring side. Don't think in terms of the perfect all encompassing routine for the rest of your life. Instead think in terms of little things to di today, but with no commitment beyond today. For example, today I will wash some of the dishes in the sink, but tomorrow who knows. This is fine. These short term baby steps will help to jump start the structuring side of the coin. Scramble will still come along, so allow that too. Once you cycle enough times, a balance appear; you will have the best of both worlds and feel more balanced.

Consciousness is connected to the second law of thermodynamics; the entropy of the universe has to increase. The neuron pump and exchange sodium and potassium ions which lowers their entropy. It is matter of time before the neuron have to fire to satisfy the second law. Scramble mode goes in the direction of second law or in the direction of higher entropy, since it makes organized things much more complex.

Forming structure within your mind, so you can do organize your life will lower entropy, which does against the second law. This is why this is harder to do. You have to swim up stream and by doing so you create an entropic potential; inner need to become more complex or scrambled.

Complexity increase, to satisfy the second law, does not have to be pure scrambled. It can also happen due to adding more and more things to your structuring routine. A more elaborate structuring of little things can also satisfy the second law. For now, work on the small pieces and then gradually start to organize by harnessing the power of scramble to build with the pieces.

The brain is not a zero sum game where you get one or the other; structure or scramble. Instead you can learnt get a power stroke from either side of that coin. You have the free energy so now you need to tap into it, but with baby steps first so you can build the neural framework.