Seeking answers about everything

[lostCanadian]

Hi, I've come here today hoping to find some sort of direction to look in regarding religion, God, and life in general. Recently I've realized that i've been making very poor decisions throughout my life and that many of my actions have negatively impacted others, some in possibly very awful ways.

I'm a bad person. I won't go into detail about that but will just say I should probably be in prison or dead. Some of the things I've done have changed people's "life paths" and affected them very deeply. I've just lately begun to understand what I've done after seeing someone I wronged a long time ago. This person is doing well, but I wonder how their life may have turned out had I not done what I did to them.

I've always believed in God but had put belief out of my mind for a long time (decades) and thinking about some of the awful things I've done, I believe God had tried to warn me prior to certain events, but I didn't hear him or didn't listen.

Now that I am "awake" and can see what I have done, I want to find a way back to God and being a good person. I know deep down that I'm probably going to hell and can never take back the things I've done but I'd like to at least do the right thing now and bring some light and happiness into the world. Problem is I don't know where to begin, or even HOW to begin.

Any and all advice is welcome, thank you.

 

[FearGod]

Hi, I've come here today hoping to find some sort of direction to look in regarding religion, God, and life in general. Recently I've realized that i've been making very poor decisions throughout my life and that many of my actions have negatively impacted others, some in possibly very awful ways.

I'm a bad person. I won't go into detail about that but will just say I should probably be in prison or dead. Some of the things I've done have changed people's "life paths" and affected them very deeply. I've just lately begun to understand what I've done after seeing someone I wronged a long time ago. This person is doing well, but I wonder how their life may have turned out had I not done what I did to them.

I've always believed in God but had put belief out of my mind for a long time (decades) and thinking about some of the awful things I've done, I believe God had tried to warn me prior to certain events, but I didn't hear him or didn't listen.

Now that I am "awake" and can see what I have done, I want to find a way back to God and being a good person. I know deep down that I'm probably going to hell and can never take back the things I've done but I'd like to at least do the right thing now and bring some light and happiness into the world. Problem is I don't know where to begin, or even HOW to begin.

Any and all advice is welcome, thank you.

i am not going to guide you to one religion or another but i advice you to listen and read from time to time just in your own language "Al-Fatiha" with your believe that you are seeking the help from the creator which you believe in but do not know him.

[youtube]JE4MT-4wwU4[/youtube]
Qur'an Recitation - Al Fatiha - Transliteration - Translation - Arabic - YouTube

 

[Sumit]

Welcome to forum
Forget what you did in past, past cannot be changed. Focus on future. Perform good actions, show mercy on animals, help poor, be truthful and you will be blessed. And don't think you will go to hell. Just do good and everything will be good.

 

[Madhuri]

Hi, and firstly welcome to RF!

I think the fact that you have changed and have realised your past is a pretty good basis for eliminating negative karma. As Sumit said, make the rest of your life positive and try to right some wrongs if that is possible.

According to most religions, changing your ways and asking for forgiveness is enough to gain God's grace. According to Hinduism, which is my religion, where you end up really depends on a mix of your karma and state of consciousness. You may have some debts to pay to people, but inevitably, your state of consciousness at the time of death will determine your next life. So basically from any of these perspectives, trying to be the best version of yourself should be your life goal.

Do you have any firm beliefs at the moment from which to begin your spiritual search? What sort of ideas about life inspire you or seem right to you?

 

[Breathe]

Hi, and welcome to RF

What beliefs do you have, in God and the Afterlife? Do you believe any particular religion or spiritual path contains spiritual truths that you think resonate with you?

 

[lostCanadian]

Thanks for the replies everyone. At this point I guess I'd be a Christian, was Anglican as a child, but I honestly don't know exactly where my beliefs lie, just that I do believe in God, whether in the traditional, Christian sense or in a "universal being" sense, i just don't know.

What I'm really struggling with is "why" I've made the choices and decisions I've made, why I took the actions I did. For the first time in my life I understand what I've done, but the "why" eludes me. I think I always knew the difference between right and wrong but still chose the wrong regardless. I don't understand myself and am not sure I can find the right path now.

 

[Sumit]

What I'm really struggling with is "why" I've made the choices and decisions I've made, why I took the actions I did. I think I always knew the difference between right and wrong but still chose the wrong regardless. I don't understand myself and am not sure I can find the right path now.

We only commit sins when we are under lust, anger, affection and greed.

 

[Breathe]

Have you considered picking up any Keith Ward: Introduction to Christianity or any of Karen Armstrong's books? If you're from a Christian background and are interested in Christianity, this is a definite start.

 

[chinu]

Hi, I've come here today hoping to find some sort of direction to look in regarding religion, God, and life in general. Recently I've realized that i've been making very poor decisions throughout my life and that many of my actions have negatively impacted others, some in possibly very awful ways.

I'm a bad person. I won't go into detail about that but will just say I should probably be in prison or dead. Some of the things I've done have changed people's "life paths" and affected them very deeply. I've just lately begun to understand what I've done after seeing someone I wronged a long time ago. This person is doing well, but I wonder how their life may have turned out had I not done what I did to them.

I've always believed in God but had put belief out of my mind for a long time (decades) and thinking about some of the awful things I've done, I believe God had tried to warn me prior to certain events, but I didn't hear him or didn't listen.

Now that I am "awake" and can see what I have done, I want to find a way back to God and being a good person. I know deep down that I'm probably going to hell and can never take back the things I've done but I'd like to at least do the right thing now and bring some light and happiness into the world. Problem is I don't know where to begin, or even HOW to begin.

Any and all advice is welcome, thank you.

If you are really serious about all that you have written above, than already you BEGANED, and if you are not really serious about all that, than you will begin someday.

 

[loverOfTruth]

Hi, I've come here today hoping to find some sort of direction to look in regarding religion, God, and life in general. Recently I've realized that i've been making very poor decisions throughout my life and that many of my actions have negatively impacted others, some in possibly very awful ways.

I'm a bad person. I won't go into detail about that but will just say I should probably be in prison or dead. Some of the things I've done have changed people's "life paths" and affected them very deeply. I've just lately begun to understand what I've done after seeing someone I wronged a long time ago. This person is doing well, but I wonder how their life may have turned out had I not done what I did to them.

I've always believed in God but had put belief out of my mind for a long time (decades) and thinking about some of the awful things I've done, I believe God had tried to warn me prior to certain events, but I didn't hear him or didn't listen.

Now that I am "awake" and can see what I have done, I want to find a way back to God and being a good person. I know deep down that I'm probably going to hell and can never take back the things I've done but I'd like to at least do the right thing now and bring some light and happiness into the world. Problem is I don't know where to begin, or even HOW to begin.

Any and all advice is welcome, thank you.

Hi there ... you seem to be very sincere about your realization and your intention to amend your past. That is a great quality. Sometimes people who make mistakes turn out to be way better than those who didn't go through such experiences. So don't let your past bring you down, instead we should learn from our mistakes to make even better positive contribution to life and society in the future. You never know what God has in mind for you. Also, one of the greatest sin in Islam is to lose hope in God's mercy - so if you are sincere and repent and amend, have faith in God that He'll guide you and forgive you.

Now, from a religious perspective, one thing I can tell you is that to find true peace and purpose you have to worship the Creator and not anything 'created', cause He is the source of Peace. In fact one of the supplications we do after daily prayers is translated as : "O Allah(God), You are As-Salam(Peace) and from You is all peace, blessed are You, O Possessor of majesty and honor."

The bottom line is finding the True God and His message so you can follow Him and find Peace. Hence, as a fellow human being and a well wisher, I would like to suggest the following to you. Set aside all religion, all holy book and have a heartfelt conversation with our Creator directly - ask Him to guide you towards Him if He truly exists and be sincere regarding your intention to follow Him if you find the Truth. And I have no doubt in my mind that you will be guided to the Truth.

I wish you Peace and Success in this journey of yours. Also, please feel free to ask any questions you might have.

Peace.

 

[Vinayaka]

Lost Canadian, welcome to these forums. I'm Canadian, but not lost at the moment at least.
In order to understand yourself, you first have to understand the mind, and how it functions. One way to do that is to separate it into 3 phases.. instinctive, intellectual, and intuitive. From your post, it seems pretty clear your awareness has spent most of its time functioning in the instinctive phase. That's where bodily functions, the instinct to survive, have fun, all the lower emotions are. That was you.

In Eastern thought, the soul progresses along, or evolves, into more refined realms. You've achieved the first step, recognition that the instinctive mind really isn't where you want to be functioning most of the time. So the next step up is the intellect. You've hit that, with a touch of intuitive thrown in. You sense you're acting wrongly, and want to do something about it. The will will help, of course.

In Eastern thought, we don't see things in black and white, or good bad. There is nothing inherently evil about your actions. Stupidity, yes. At one point in each soul's evolution, we were all there too. Those of us who are now acting relatively morally once weren't, so there is compassion for the process, born out of an understanding of it.

So please don't beat yourself up over it. There are a million resources for self-help and moral guidance so I won't go there.

Best wishes.

 

[lostCanadian]

Thanks for all the replies and advice everyone, I still have no idea how to get on the right path but I guess that's all part of the seeking. I wonder though if God ever "has enough" with someone and can't or won't hear them anymore. This is what's been on my mind the most lately, if God even hears me at this point.

 

[loverOfTruth]

Thanks for all the replies and advice everyone, I still have no idea how to get on the right path but I guess that's all part of the seeking. I wonder though if God ever "has enough" with someone and can't or won't hear them anymore. This is what's been on my mind the most lately, if God even hears me at this point.

From an Islamic perspective as long as you don't fall into the following category, you should be fine : "But repentance is not [accepted] of those who [continue to] do evil deeds up until, when death comes to one of them, he says, "Indeed, I have repented now," or of those who die while they are disbelievers. For them We have prepared a painful punishment." (Al Qur'an 4:18)

Now on the brighter side, no, God never has 'enough' as long as one realizes their mistake and amends.

"...and never give up hope of Allah's(God's) Soothing Mercy: truly no one despairs of Allah's(God's) Soothing Mercy, except those who have no faith." (Al Qur'an 12:87)

"O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah(God) . Indeed, Allah(God) forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." (Al Qur'an 39:53)

"If any one does evil or wrongs his own soul but afterwards seeks Allah's(God's) forgiveness, he will find Allah Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful." (Al Qur'an 4:110)

If you are interested, you can read the Qur'an online @ The Noble Qur'an
(Choose Sahih International for easy English Translation)

Peace.

 

[Breathe]

Thanks for all the replies and advice everyone, I still have no idea how to get on the right path but I guess that's all part of the seeking. I wonder though if God ever "has enough" with someone and can't or won't hear them anymore. This is what's been on my mind the most lately, if God even hears me at this point.

That's a common fear, but one I think is of our own mind's creation. My experience says "He" doesn't have get fed up of people or think "I've had enough". He's certainly been patient with me!

 

[illykitty]

That's a common fear, but one I think is of our own mind's creation. My experience says "He" doesn't have get fed up of people or think "I've had enough". He's certainly been patient with me!

And me, for sure! You have no idea how much I go back and forth and keep crying and whining but I feel God has always listened.

I say open your heart and ask for guidance. Keep your mind open and perhaps you'll get a sign. Also, try reading about various religions, even those you don't consider. You might find some surprising things!

 

[Quagmire]

Hi, I've come here today hoping to find some sort of direction to look in regarding religion, God, and life in general. Recently I've realized that i've been making very poor decisions throughout my life and that many of my actions have negatively impacted others, some in possibly very awful ways.

I'm a bad person. I won't go into detail about that but will just say I should probably be in prison or dead. Some of the things I've done have changed people's "life paths" and affected them very deeply. I've just lately begun to understand what I've done after seeing someone I wronged a long time ago. This person is doing well, but I wonder how their life may have turned out had I not done what I did to them.

I've always believed in God but had put belief out of my mind for a long time (decades) and thinking about some of the awful things I've done, I believe God had tried to warn me prior to certain events, but I didn't hear him or didn't listen.

Now that I am "awake" and can see what I have done, I want to find a way back to God and being a good person. I know deep down that I'm probably going to hell and can never take back the things I've done but I'd like to at least do the right thing now and bring some light and happiness into the world. Problem is I don't know where to begin, or even HOW to begin.

Any and all advice is welcome, thank you.

Hi LostCanadian, welcome to RF. Well, I think the first step in finding your way is in realizing that you're lost. And "lost" doesn't have to mean "lost" as in "Gone beyond all hope" it can just mean "lost" as in "Where the hell am I and how did I get here?" and it looks like you've got that part covered.

My advise: look for someone who looks like they know where they're going and tag along for a while.

 

[Jainarayan]

He's certainly been patient with me!

And me, for sure! You have no idea how much I go back and forth and keep crying and whining but I feel God has always listened.

And me too... with the way I waffle and vascillate, sometimes lose faith or question the paths I take or don't take, the methods I practice or don't practice.

Especially for lostCanadian:

We're a lost cause only if we want to be a lost cause. I've done some things I'm not proud of, but that's in the past and what's done is done. Learn to not repeat the mistakes. And if you do, just get up again. You have to learn to forgive yourself. If God is infinite, so is his patience, love and forgiveness.

30. Even a confirmed sinner, if he worships Me with unwavering faith and devotion, must verily be considered as righteous; for he has indeed taken the right resolve.
31.Soon will he become righteous and attain to lasting peace. No devotee of Mine will ever perish; you may swear to this effect, O Arjuna! Bhagavad Gita 9

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven. [large numbers represented infinity in ancient times]
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. - Matthew 18

I doesn't mean you can go out and deliberately commit sins and expect to be forgiven each time, but if you are the kind of person who just can't get it right, though you try, and you want to be a good person, God will see you as a good person. And it doesn't matter how you see or worship (or don't worship) God. You find the way that appeals to you.

Forgiveness - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Secret Chief]

Hi there!
This is a good forum so please hang around.
As others have already said, the past is done and cannot be changed. A 'bad' past can be a great springboard for the future, and your self-realisation confirms you are on just such a springboard.

 

[Jainarayan]

A 'bad' past can be a great springboard for the future, and your self-realisation confirms you are on just such a spring board.

I'm reluctant to use the example of St. Paul, because I don't hold with much of his teachings, but consider how he viciously persecuted the first Christians. He was complicit in the martyrdom of St. Stephen: Saint Stephen - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Stoning of Stephen
... The witnesses, whose duty it was to throw the first stones,[5], laid their coats down so as to be able to do this, at the feet of a "young man named Saul",later to be known as Paul the Apostle. Stephen prayed that the Lord would receive his spirit and his killers be forgiven, sank to his knees, and "fell asleep".[Acts 7:58-60] Saul "approved of their killing him".[Acts 8:1]

But Paul changed his ways and went on to convert more people to Christianity than probably any other disciple, and is now revered as one of the greatest figures in history.

 

[Secret Chief]

Indeed. Another example: Ashoka began as a man of violence and then his disgust at his own actions awakened him to a new path...