Now July 2018 ... and another unexpected episode & remarkable recovery ... here's a little taste - also see the spare time thread!
Here is a little of my most recent writings -
Absolute surge now extends to socialising .... but WILL I ...
"What do I think? I think that complaining about things you cannot change would have 2 be the perfect recipe 4 a frustrating life. Most people do it - that is why there are so FEW genuinely happy people on this planet."
Yes - complain or blame or judge - all you are doing is sabotaging your own happiness ...
"If you never change what you are thinking , you will never change what you are experiencing."
Plus ALL the memorised ------> such as people would treat each other Far better ...
"Most people are not terribly wise - that is why this world is in SUCH a mess."
WILLLL I? ---> "Why do you suppose that you have this obsession with crime and war programs on the TV? That's not very healthy if you ASK me."
More from memorised - plus some new stuff ... argh ... ------>
"There is a LOT of tension in most relationships because most people are not YET practicing uncondit ...
"There are a LOT of very intelligent people in this world but TRUE wisdom is unfortunately fairly rare."
"You're also very modest!"
"Most people have egos that cause them quite a bit of trouble."
SCROLL down slowly in this file from top - as if I will!! - MANY yet 2 FULLY explore!
WAVES - signs of a very dysfunctional species!
"I think that the question you really need to ask yourself is whether you would RATHER be right or would you rather be happy ..."
"The really sad thing about this world is that many people are actively sabotaging their own happiness because they SIMPLY don't know any better - they don't believe they have a choice."
"If you want me 2 be perfectly honest, you aren't terribly tolerant of people who have a different opinion."
This after surge - call the email Latest recovery! - think -
Hi there!
I will send this to all 4 of you ...
I have yet to read Debbie and Denise's emails - maybe I should wait for that ...
Let me first reassure you that I am fine after a good sleep!
I am truly sorry for my little disappearing act last evening.
I had the WORST panic attack I have experienced in a LONG time ...
Just trust me - it would have been a FAR bigger drama if I had attempted to stay and socialise!
I hope that I didn't ruin anyone's evening!
Episodes like that certainly do give me a LOT to write about - I may share some of my thoughts later on ...
That will depend on my being able 2 decipher all the insights I received during my panic attack! Hopefully I will remember what I wrote - at least 5 or 6 pages worth of various thoughts!
Here's a little preview -
I don't really know why I simply assume that people won't be prepared to forgive me for being a little less-than-perfect. I guess sometimes I don't give people enough credit. I am still VERY much a work-in-progress
It wasn't all bad - I really enjoyed our non-human visitors! Lulu is absolutely adorable! Pity Denise is going to leave the country soon!
Hope you're all well and let's not worry about my situation more than necessary.
Love from Geoff
THEN latest episode - realllly bad panic attack! - but it was worth it as you can see by the AMOUNT of insight!
YES!!! --->
When somebody is really PUSHING your buttons, cultivating compassion is THE biggest challenge you are EVER likely to face - and I do NOT always manage 2 do it!
You should understand suffering more than most people and a narcisist really does suffer because they REALLY do belive that everyone else is at fault! That is surely THE most frustrating way to spend your time on this planet!
Even had fears of them calling the CAT team ...
Wasn't all that compassionate at times? -
"It's NOT terrribly wise to put PRESSURE on someone who has very violent thoughts when under stress!"
But it IS true - that conversation with Steve was NOT cool at all - what the HECK does unconditional compassion really mean! Obviously I am nowhere NEAR as evolved as I might like to believe I am!
BUT!!! It sure does give me a LOT to write about!
Plus Peter next week? Plus u3a tomorrow plus mum and dad exiting the state soon ...
I will actually be more than a little amazed if she does NOT confront me for ruining her plans let alone her image! After all, she ordinarily leaves you in no DOUBT when she disapproves of something - which is MOST of the time ... there's that UNCONDITIONAL compassion again!
YES!! - it will be somewhat SURREAL if e simply pretend that never happened! But I plan to let her sleep on any nager she may be experiencing!
Still stewing a little - imagined myself saying things I rarely if EVER say - If it is simply a matter of having a positive attitude, why aren't you completely happy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?
Plus this - Well ... uncondional compassion doesn't allow you the luxury of indulging in ANY disapproval
Back to isom and weights and memorised - did help a LOT!
JUST realised?? -
Some of these are worthy of being memorised - and a LOT more to follow!
I am JUST getting warmed up - I sure wasn't as gracious as I could possibly be at times! ...
You seem to really enjoy criticising other people bu nobody is ALLOWED 2 criticise you!
Life just isn't that simple - we human beings are very complex cretaures - it's amazing if we don't all go completely around the bend!
Wow - if you INSIST on seeking simple answers you will probably experience a LOT of frustration!
Some of LESS attacking thoughts to gang!?
If you ALLOW yourself to get all upset whenever you encounter someone who doesn't meet your standards of behaviour - that would have to be the perfect recipe for a frustrating life!
WOW -
The tension in THIS world is more than enough to send anyone completely around the bend!
If you really believed you have a choice, why would anyone CHOOSE to be negative?
I am prepared to say I simply don't know how much of our personality and behaviour is really a free choice!
This world is an absolute lunatic asylum because most people are nowhere NEAR as compassionate as they could possibly be!
Most people's compassion is HIGHLY selective - that is why people like the Dalai Lama stand out!
Trust me - you don't really want to know the answer to that question!
WOWWWWEEEE again!!! --------->
Steve has 4 people in his life with significant emotional health problems - and three are not OFFICIALLY diagnosed! - Schizo & anger & obsession & narcisism - and then there are his dogs!
Wow! ... even more than that ...
Here's a few of my thoughts - I rarely say what I really want to say in some social situations! That is why I write so much - if I had the perfect life, I probably wouldn't write anything I would just enjoy the perfection!
Quotes about opinions? - Pema??
Angry people REALLLY do believe it is the other person's fault for making them angry. That is their reality!
I thought there was more but that is more than enough!
Then! - emails - thanks for your support - and i feel great compassion ... oh paste it in! -
Hi Denise
Thanks for your support - I have great compassion for Mum because I know what it is like to suffer and REALLY believe it is everyone else's fault for making me experience negative emotions. I hope she wasn't too upset - I even had thoughts about Mum calling the CAT team for my anti-social behaviour!
Just spoke with Mum - she doesn't seem too upset! So don't worry about me - I am fine after a good sleep.
I wrote quite a LOT during my panic attack - if I had the perfect life I probably wouldn't write a thing
It does make me a little apprehensive about u3a today - though I doubt if that will compare with our rowdy mob. Today is called use your brain - anagrams and puzzles and sudoku etc - hopefully it will be no drama!
Enjoy the sites - did I send you one with fun facts about dogs?
Lulu made my day! So adorable ...
Love from Geoff
From: Denise Matthews <
[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, 18 July 2018 10:46 AM
To: Geoff Allen
Subject: How are you
Hi Geoff
Hope you are ok
I felt uncomfortable when Mum wanted to do that sitting and bonding stuff. Is that what you had to get away from. I feel it too!!!
Mum doesn’t seem to have any concept that other people are not always interested in what she is. So sorry that you couldn’t stay. But totally ok too If I’d had a room to go to I would have escaped too!!
There’s yummy vegan curry. And some vegan slice. Hope to see you next week before we go. How about just us siblings. No kids or extras.
Hope your not concerned about not staying for dinner. Cos it was no problem xx
Not finished JUST yet!! - see below asterisks!!
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Continues in next post ...
