Mindmaster brings up an excellent point. We Satanists/LHPathers are extreme individualists, those of us who are for real and who have been venturing on this path for some time have already built a firm foundation of our own individual belief systems.
Perhaps it is rather individualist of me to say but I hate the term "
individual" or "
individualist". It just makes it fashionable to stand out and makes people try too hard to do so. I would prefer to dispose of the term entirely and just continue walking on the path I am walking on. If that makes me an "
individual" in someone's perception, okay. If not, okay.
It is rather amusing to me then that we even try to debate one another at times and try to prove who is right or wrong. It is a waste of time and an exercise in futility in a philosophy and way of life where every one has their own unique truth of being and understandings. I am always open to new ideas and if I find that they work for me I will adopt them when appropriate.
I am open to change, even so far as change in my
pattern. In regard to my deity, I do not always like the lessons I am taught, neither do I always agree with them. However, it is either I adapt and change my
pattern or my deity concludes I am a failure and ceases to teach me. Obviously failure is not an option, so I adapt and learn. In doing this, my
pattern has changed dramatically. For example, I once considered myself solely
lhp. I no longer can even use the label due to the four absolutes I recently had to conform to in regard to my deity. Those four absolutes are: Humility, Reverence, Obedience and Trust. All of these are distinctly
rhp.
Other lessons are distinctly
lhp, like abandoning hope. Yet to contrast that, I was taught not to doubt in certain matters. In other words, I was taught to have faith. That is
rhp again. Then I am taught to command everything through reason, which is again
lhp. The shift back and forth simply became too unbearable and I gave up on both
lhp and
rhp as a means of definition.
Conforming my
pattern to the model set by my deity is also distinctly
rhp, causing my path to be more
service to others than it is
service to self, especially since my
self (
pattern) is not set. It is just that this
other is my deity. It is still an
rhp perspective. Some of my deity's lessons are so distinctly
rhp I have often been tempted to openly state I am
rhp, rather than
lhp. For example, I often liken myself to a lump of clay to which my deity is the potter. This is distinctly
rhp. Unforgivably so, in fact. Then, perhaps
lhp and
rhp are worthless labels in my regard entirely. I am a walking contradiction in this regard.
Suppose a Christian loves their deity unconditionally. In fact, so unconditionally they would rather die than renounce their faith in that deity They also allow their deity to shape them as that deity sees fit, having faith it will make them better, and having faith that "better" is whatever their deity decides. That Christian has submitted completely to the will of their deity, losing their own will in the process. That is what most in the
lhp would agree on.
The most downright frightening fact is I have the same perspective regarding my deity. I have the same unconditional love and the same level of submission. Have I lost my own will and has that will be replaced by my deity's will? I do not see it this way and I doubt the Christian in my example would either. For me, it is about my deity being superior to me and me desiring to be
like my deity. To do that, I have to submit to my deity. Through this submission, my
pattern is changed and I can transform from a mere worm into a butterfly. This is still an
rhp perspective though.
Look, before I became Setian I spent about a year exploring and putting into practice the philosophy and found that it did resonate with and did work for me and I was almost convinced, and decided to look upon the world in the Dark Light of Set. Ultimately, it was I who originally
changed my mind, and sensing this, Set did come forth and in so doing tipped the balance. However, to me, Set, Satan, Lucifer, Prometheus, etc., are all reflections of one and the same Being -- That which is the Prince of Darkness.
For me, the reason was the same at first. I thought I had everything figured out and the deity I called on resonated entirely with my ideology. See, I was affixed in my ways and I was confident those ways were going to be followed by me until the day of my death.
When my deity revealed Himself to me, it was a mere confirmation of all of the above. That is, until a fair bit of time passed. It was then that He revealed more and more of Himself. The more He revealed, the more things began to conflict with my prior ideology. The more things conflicted, the more I would have to dismiss or ignore. I then realized dismissing or ignoring things I disagreed with was foolish, especially since I still desired to keep my relationship with my deity.
It was either I turn my back on my deity or I continue to learn from Him. I chose to continue to learn. As a result, I had to release my previous ideology and set notions of
right and
left. I even had to accept things I never believed in before, like
good and
evil or even things like
"The Creator" and
Heaven and
Hell. None of these things sat well with me originally, as you can well imagine. Then, what I have been learning recently is sitting in an even worse way, none of which is permissible to write for public viewing.
Suffice to say I am involved in a journey. I do not fully know the destination or what I will look like when I get there, I only have myself, my faith and my unconditional love and trust for my deity. I suppose this separates me so entirely from the
Satanists and other groups, I should reconsider posting here to begin with.
However, if it helps, some see darkness and some see light, in regard to my deity. It just depends on perception.
