Rival Stuff

[Brickjectivity]

I wish that the Anthropologists here would indicate such. I'm well schooled in Theological matters, and know that Religion has big problems confronting reality. My own snotty and stubborn opinion is that the two "realities" must meet someday.

Some would say that they meet through mythology, and ideally it should be possible to discuss normally unapproachable subjects that way. People try different things. Other people try to use art or fiction. Straight up left brained conversation doesn't always permeate, penetrate the skull.

 

[Rival]

I know that there must be a man out there that can control his libido long enough to please you. I feel the same way. Things were very different when I was a child in the 50s. I do not know how observant you are as a Jew, and it is frustrating that I know little of "Jewish subcultures". Does your culture do arranged marriages?

I'm not Jewish.

 

[Brickjectivity]

I know that there must be a man out there that can control his libido long enough to please you. I feel the same way. Things were very different when I was a child in the 50s. I do not know how observant you are as a Jew, and it is frustrating that I know little of "Jewish subcultures". Does your culture do arranged marriages?

Don't forget that judging a person's intelligence beauty and fitness to ourselves is only 1 of the natural prerogatives. We judge ourselves just as harshly, so part of the art is to get the other person to stop judging themselves and you at the same time Its a complex problem. The more awesome you are the more the other person feels inadequate, but then if you like them they might question your judgment -- because you like them. Also one moment you might feel one way and the next moment you might feel another way. Then there is the dancing aspect -- can they lead and can you follow, and etc.

Its hopeless! Just give up, Rival.

 

[Brickjectivity]

I didn't realize we were in a journal.

 

[Audie]

My boyfriend spotted me at a Starbux,
looki g every bit the shy nerdy girl with a
Macbook.

Turned out I was what he was looking for,
and he is that for me.

I got lucky.

 

[Ellen Brown]

Some would say that they meet through mythology, and ideally it should be possible to discuss normally unapproachable subjects that way. People try different things. Other people try to use art or fiction. Straight up left brained conversation doesn't always permeate, penetrate the skull.

Christians of the ilk I'm from sort of shut down when studying the ancient artifacts in Iran and the Americas. These days, in frustration, I'm somewhat open to other civilizations having visited Earth. The Bible calls them Nephilim, but then try to categorize them as evil, or fallen angels. Having been around construction most of my life, I don't believe that some of the stonework and other things can be repeated today. I doubt that the purpose of all of it was religious in nature, though could not speculate as to its purpose.

 

[Hockeycowboy]

I've come to a conclusion. I spent most of my life being raised by a psychopath to whom emotions were just something to be manipulated and bruised, so I came to believe that feelings were stupid and ought to be suppressed to a degree. I began to value intelligence more and undertook to learn and learn. I enjoy it; I enjoy it a lot. I love learning foreign languages, studying history and so on, but I've realised something.

It makes me depressed.

I've spent so long trying to find people with whom to have meaningful, intelligent discussions and time and again I've come away empty-handed and miserable. The opposite sex in particular has no interest in it whatsoever. I've discovered that, after years of being natural, that wearing some makeup and shaving everything gets me way more attention than explaining the etymology of words does. I once worked with a class full of 4-6 year olds and all they want to do is play. Too much study makes them miserable. I then saw this is the rest of the world. Most people don't want to think; they want to feel. It's easy; it's obtainable and it costs nothing.

I'm sick of being alone and miserable and waiting for some philosopher prince or princess, because they just don't exist. Even the teachers with whom I worked had almost no interest in intellectual discussion. If not teachers then who; tell me who? Having a decent education is socially worthless - especially if you're female. So I'm not going to be the intelligent girl anymore; I'm going to be the pretty one. I've totally just given up trying to make people care about the things that I care about.

Having high intellect has been positively correlated with depression and loneliness. It's because people just don't care about it. People didn't like me when I was average looking and now they pay me attention over just the littlest bit of foundation and mascara. I've begun to regret being less girly than the other girls, because boys don't want intelligent girls; they want chicks they can **** and play with. Talking meaningfully makes them feel inferior; it puts them less at ease. That's when they run away, or just buy you more gifts to make you sleep with them.

I'm tired of being miserable and lonely because I like books.

Other girls had the right idea all along.

I've got a question: where do you go to meet people?
Maybe it's the environment. Visit a different environment, where there are different "flocks" of people. Remember, birds of a feather, they say!

Ever been to a chess club? There are more cerebral people, there.

Museums, too.

 

[Vouthon]

@Rival I am truly sorry to hear of your relationship woes and that they are causing you to feel depressed.

I hope you cast your mind and focus onto other matters for a while. Your own peace of mind is the most important thing, after all.

While I understand that you may consider yourself to be at wits end and understandably cynical, I wouldn't give up on men entirely. We are all in our own little corners of the globe and the world is a big place. The % of men that you've met is still like a drop in the ocean, even though I don't doubt for a minute how dispiriting this must make you feel.

Perhaps, its bad luck and you've just attracted the wrong sort of guy. It happens, unfortunately. C'est la vie.

I can assure you there are plenty of men looking for intelligent and meaningful intercourse - and not just 'intercourse' of the other variety. If you remain at all interested and haven't entirely given up on 'mandom', I sincerely hope the right guy crosses your path should you ever be open to the possibility in the future.

Keep the chin up.

 

[Spiderman]

I find thoughtful intelligent educated women more attractive than the shallow minded who obssess about looks , material possessions, gossip, and reputation.

 

[Deeje]

The thing is, the intelligent conversation needs to come before the sex. Like, months before. As I said, I've completely given up on this. It seems if you don't put out after a few days, the interest is lost.

Yes! Months before. This is why the Bible makes sense. It say no sex before marriage....and it condemns drunkenness. Think about what that means. You don't base your relationship on sex or not remembering how you met that person that you never see again.

Both parties have to find the company of the other to be more than enough to make a commitment before the physical expressions can begin. By the time marriage allows the sex, you already have compatibility in other (often more important) areas of life. It is these shared interests and compatibilities that make for a lasting relationship, rather than seeing a body as something to use and then throw away when the sex becomes boring. Sex isn't love.....nor should it form the foundation of any relationship. If a relationship is based on the right aspects of personality, love, loyalty, and commitment, then the sex will take care of itself. The genuine, meaningful and lasting kind of love flourishes in that environment.

The place to look for a mate is with a group who share similar interests. My nephew met his wife when they both volunteered for the State Emergency Services. Each saw qualities that the other admired. Others met at places where people of like mind gather. Do you get out of your house to find these ones who share your interests? Or do you expect to meet mental giants at a pub?

Do you attend religious services so that religious compatibility may draw you to someone with similar beliefs?

You seem to have a lot of baggage....and listening to you talk about your family....is it any wonder?

George Benson wrote a song...."The Greatest Love of All"......its so true. You can't really love anyone else until you learn to love yourself.

Don't settle for what you know is not who you truly are.

 

[Rival]

the State Emergency Services. Each saw qualities that the other admired. Others met at places where people of like mind gather. Do you get out of your house to find these ones who share your interests? Or do you expect to meet mental giants at a pub?

Do you attend religious services so that religious compatibility may draw you to someone with similar beliefs?

You seem to have a lot of baggage....and listening to you talk about your family....is it any wonder?

I go out often to the coffeehouse, just out and about in town. I never go to pubs; I hate them. I can't attend any religious services are there are no shuls here. Most people I meet are atheists. It's very difficult also finding someone with whom my faith is compatible.

 

[Deeje]

I go out often to the coffeehouse, just out and about in town. I never go to pubs; I hate them. I can't attend any religious services are there are no shuls here. Most people I meet are atheists. It's very difficult also finding someone with whom my faith is compatible.

Have you attended any educational courses where you could meet those who at least share you intellectual level?

So hard to meet fellow believers if you have no one who shares your faith. Aren't there any synagogues near you at all? Not even in traveling distance (train or bus)?

What about online? Are there those online who share your beliefs with whom you could strike up a friendship?

 

[Rival]

Have you attended any educational courses where you could meet those who at least share you intellectual level?

Yep. I've only had one year out of education so far.

So hard to meet fellow believers if you have no one who shares your faith. Aren't there any synagogues near you at all? Not even in traveling distance (train or bus)?

By train, but there's no way I could afford to pay that fare weekly on my welfare money. As well as this, the shul is dying because it can't keep up its membership (pretty standard here; especially with churches). There is a Reform one hard by it with a large membership, but I'm not into the Reform stuff. Most of the Jews in this country are in London or Gateshead, neither which I'm near

What about online? Are there those online who share your beliefs with whom you could strike up a friendship?

I keep trying.

 

[Jollybear]

I've come to a conclusion. I spent most of my life being raised by a psychopath to whom emotions were just something to be manipulated and bruised, so I came to believe that feelings were stupid and ought to be suppressed to a degree. I began to value intelligence more and undertook to learn and learn. I enjoy it; I enjoy it a lot. I love learning foreign languages, studying history and so on, but I've realised something.

It makes me depressed.

I've spent so long trying to find people with whom to have meaningful, intelligent discussions and time and again I've come away empty-handed and miserable. The opposite sex in particular has no interest in it whatsoever. I've discovered that, after years of being natural, that wearing some makeup and shaving everything gets me way more attention than explaining the etymology of words does. I once worked with a class full of 4-6 year olds and all they want to do is play. Too much study makes them miserable. I then saw this is the rest of the world. Most people don't want to think; they want to feel. It's easy; it's obtainable and it costs nothing.

I'm sick of being alone and miserable and waiting for some philosopher prince or princess, because they just don't exist. Even the teachers with whom I worked had almost no interest in intellectual discussion. If not teachers then who; tell me who? Having a decent education is socially worthless - especially if you're female. So I'm not going to be the intelligent girl anymore; I'm going to be the pretty one. I've totally just given up trying to make people care about the things that I care about.

Having high intellect has been positively correlated with depression and loneliness. It's because people just don't care about it. People didn't like me when I was average looking and now they pay me attention over just the littlest bit of foundation and mascara. I've begun to regret being less girly than the other girls, because boys don't want intelligent girls; they want chicks they can **** and play with. Talking meaningfully makes them feel inferior; it puts them less at ease. That's when they run away, or just buy you more gifts to try make you sleep with them.

I'm tired of being miserable and lonely because I like books.

Other girls had the right idea all along.

Curious: do you consider the discussions you may have on here with others "intelligent"?

 

[Dawnofhope]

Having high intellect has been positively correlated with depression and loneliness. It's because people just don't care about it. People didn't like me when I was average looking and now they pay me attention over just the littlest bit of foundation and mascara. I've begun to regret being less girly than the other girls, because boys don't want intelligent girls; they want chicks they can **** and play with. Talking meaningfully makes them feel inferior; it puts them less at ease. That's when they run away, or just buy you more gifts to try make you sleep with them.

I'm tired of being miserable and lonely because I like books.

Other girls had the right idea all along.

I recall the starting point being friendships and associations with like minded people of both sexes without the agenda of being in a relationship. If we can't maintain long term friendships and contacts, then a sexual relationship are unlikely to work out IMHO.

University was a great place to connect with new people who had more of an intellectual and sometimes spiritual focus too. I recall long hours spent in the university café and its where I met my wife.

I was more concerned finding someone whose personality and intellect was compatible. I would have liked to have met someone within my own faith but had to compromise due to the relatively small numbers of Baha'is in my locality. If you are aiming to meet another Noahide or someone Jewish, that could be very difficult.

All the best.

 

[Rival]

Curious: do you consider the discussions you may have on here with others "intelligent"?

They're certainly more than I get in real life. At least the topics being discussed are of interest to me.

 

[9-18-1]

I've come to a conclusion. I spent most of my life being raised by a psychopath to whom emotions were just something to be manipulated and bruised, so I came to believe that feelings were stupid and ought to be suppressed to a degree. I began to value intelligence more and undertook to learn and learn. I enjoy it; I enjoy it a lot. I love learning foreign languages, studying history and so on, but I've realised something.

It makes me depressed.

I've spent so long trying to find people with whom to have meaningful, intelligent discussions and time and again I've come away empty-handed and miserable. The opposite sex in particular has no interest in it whatsoever. I've discovered that, after years of being natural, that wearing some makeup and shaving everything gets me way more attention than explaining the etymology of words does. I once worked with a class full of 4-6 year olds and all they want to do is play. Too much study makes them miserable. I then saw this is the rest of the world. Most people don't want to think; they want to feel. It's easy; it's obtainable and it costs nothing

From the opposite end of the spectrum I've tried to have similar discussions on the same topics but found women are much more emotional than men and it becomes a great impasse: once a topic comes up that women have some sort of personal attachment to, everything breaks down from there and emotions kick in.

My most relevant experience was with a Muslim woman I knew many years ago - there is a big backstory, but altogether I ended up researching Islam, the Qur'an, Muhammad, and started learning the Hebrew language to understand what was actually written in the books of Moses. What I found was very interesting, but it did not conform to her "beliefs" which she had solidified and protected at all costs.

I'm sick of being alone and miserable and waiting for some philosopher prince or princess, because they just don't exist. Even the teachers with whom I worked had almost no interest in intellectual discussion. If not teachers then who; tell me who? Having a decent education is socially worthless - especially if you're female. So I'm not going to be the intelligent girl anymore; I'm going to be the pretty one. I've totally just given up trying to make people care about the things that I care about

When it comes to women I don't prefer to be the one talking, I'd much rather listen and try to see from their perspective through their eyes, because part of my own search has led me to understand that one of the (if not the) greatest problems on this planet is how man interacts with woman. Whereas patriarchal institutions have women serving men, I am much more inclined toward men serving women.

Having high intellect has been positively correlated with depression and loneliness. It's because people just don't care about it. People didn't like me when I was average looking and now they pay me attention over just the littlest bit of foundation and mascara. I've begun to regret being less girly than the other girls, because boys don't want intelligent girls; they want chicks they can **** and play with. Talking meaningfully makes them feel inferior; it puts them less at ease. That's when they run away, or just buy you more gifts to try make you sleep with them

The intellect has utility but is only part of the mind - like a sharp knife it can dissect things. However if the hand that holds the knife is unstable, there can be harm done that can manifest as depression and loneliness - this has happened to me.

I'm tired of being miserable and lonely because I like books.

Other girls had the right idea all along.

Well at the moment I've got like 4 books going: sacred geometry, flower of life, musical harmonics and some Hebrew language books that show how the Hebrew language is derived from a single form. Been reading carefully the book of Genesis and working to understand the structure of creation how the author/Hebrew would have/do 'perceive' it. But, of course, most people who read the "English" Bible don't have an appreciation for the English language, let alone even attempting to understand an ancient one. So, with you on the lonely feeling there.

 

[Jollybear]

They're certainly more than I get in real life. At least the topics being discussed are of interest to me.

Ok, gotcha. What do you consider "intelligence" to be?

 

[Rival]

Ok, gotcha. What do you consider "intelligence" to be?

Having detailed knowledge of topics one likes to discuss; common sense; being able to react to situations with understanding.

 

[Jollybear]

Having detailed knowledge of topics one likes to discuss; common sense; being able to react to situations with understanding.

What topics do you like to discuss?