RF as a social outlet

[lewisnotmiller]

Mostly healthy, and I've been known to trundle off for a month or so at times where I don't have time, or energy for the type of discourse that goes on here.

Offline I have a very busy life, between work (hard to believe, but I'm paid to manage people and complex projects...!!), basketball (approx 5.5 hours per week coaching juniors, about 2 hours a week playing competitively) and family (wife and 3 kids, oldest 14, youngest almost 2).

RF (as well as a basketball related forum I frequent) are great for train trips, or late at night when I'm not ready to sleep, or sometimes if I'm trapped in a virtual meeting I really don't need to be in.

So picture me on a train, in a dark room, or yawning on Teams, and you're probably close to the mark.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

On a more lighthearted note, I think RF has taught me that if you really define the semantics/linguistics/etc of a subject, you'll have the debate over with pretty quick after that - sometimes because the debate was about people's different modes of expression and that's about it, sometimes because it causes people to take another look and find the answer, and sometimes because by the time the debate over the word usage/phrases/context ends, people are too tired.

But it taught me that a lot seems to go into just defining the terms of debate. Sometimes.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

On a more lighthearted note, I think RF has taught me that if you really define the semantics/linguistics/etc of a subject, you'll have the debate over with pretty quick after that - sometimes because the debate was about people's different modes of expression and that's about it, sometimes because it causes people to take another look and find the answer, and sometimes because by the time the debate over the word usage/phrases/context ends, people are too tired.

But it taught me that a lot seems to go into just defining the terms of debate. Sometimes.

I'd like to agree with you, but your arguments lack formal logical structure, and therefore can't be considered arguments at all.

(J/K)

Welcome back!

 

[Secret Chief]

On a more lighthearted note

You've so far completely failed to demonstrate that you have any sort of rational understanding of the word "lighthearted." And, most glaringly - where is your evidence? You simply pile one fallacy on top of another. I'd be happy to direct you to some very basic texts so that you might come to some sort of comprehension as to the meaning of the word.

And welcome back

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

You've so far completely failed to demonstrate that you have any sort of rational understanding of the word "lighthearted." And, most glaringly - where is your evidence? You simply pile one fallacy on top of another. I'd be happy to direct you to some very basic texts so that you might come to some sort of comprehension as to the meaning of the word.

Good to see you too.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Here's your answer, by the way, @Secret Chief :

 

[Stevicus]

TLDR: For you, is RF a healthy social outlet? It is for me I think.

Occasionally I’ll see someone leave because RF is not a healthy social outlet for them.

For me, both my place of employment and RF prevent me from being a complete hermit. Both keep me integrated with society. I don’t have friends in my day to day life, just acquaintances and coworkers. I just don’t want friends any more, been there done that. I’m barely warming up to the idea of befriending a coworker or two after over a year of working with them. But of RF I can entertain the idea of being friends with some of you. Since we are all interested in religion/spirituality, I can get along with people here.

So for that reason I think it is healthy for me.

How about you, is RF a positive social outlet in your life?

Well, it's worked better as a social outlet than an electrical outlet.

 

[Trailblazer]

For me, both my place of employment and RF prevent me from being a complete hermit.

Since my place of employment is at home, and since I rarely communicate with others who work for the same agency, and I only go out once a week for groceries and to get my mail, RF is the only thing that prevents me from being a complete hermit.

I tried to cut back on RF for a while, when I was messaging men on dating sites, but that turned into a complete disaster when I discovered that certain men I was messaging were con men. I still go on certain dating sites and send and reply to messages but now I am much more careful about who I give my cell phone number or e-mail address to. I also learned something about myself from the dating sites experience: One reason I was hoping for messages and replying to them is because I was lonely and needed someone to talk to. But I don't need to talk to men on dating sites if I can find people to talk to here. I still want to find a man, but now it does not feel as urgent as it did when my whole emphasis was the dating sites, as if it was life or death that I remarry.

 

[Trailblazer]

15K posts, I hope I like it.

39K posts, I hope I like it.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Since my place of employment is at home, and since I rarely communicate with others who work for the same agency, and I only go out once a week for groceries and to get my mail, RF is the only thing that prevents me from being a complete hermit.

I tried to cut back on RF for a while, when I was messaging men on dating sites, but that turned into a complete disaster when I discovered that certain men I was messaging were con men. I still go on certain dating sites and send and reply to messages but now I am much more careful about who I give my cell phone number or e-mail address to. I also learned something about myself from the dating sites experience: One reason I was hoping for messages and replying to them is because I was lonely and needed someone to talk to. But I don't need to talk to men on dating sites if I can find people to talk to here. I still want to find a man, but now it does not feel as urgent as it did when my whole emphasis was the dating sites, as if it was life or death that I remarry.

I've always found dating sites to be really tough to find someone on. I did know someone who hopped on and found someone in a matter of weeks. But that hasn't been my experience at all.

I feel dating sites do a lot to make things seem even more like a tense professional job interview than it already is. So I've had better luck with more hands on stuff like doing my hobbies and inviting people to do them with me when I can, and seeing if a spark comes from that.

 

[Trailblazer]

Well, it's worked better as a social outlet than an electrical outlet.

also better than going out on my deck and getting bitten by a raccoon! It's a good thing he bit through my sweater, but now I wear a heavy jacket, gloves and boots whenever I go out there.

 

[Trailblazer]

I've always found dating sites to be really tough to find someone on. I did know someone who hopped on and found someone in a matter of weeks. But that hasn't been my experience at all.

I feel dating sites do a lot to make things seem even more like a tense professional job interview than it already is. So I've had better luck with more hands on stuff like doing my hobbies and inviting people to do them with me when I can, and seeing if a spark comes from that.

Yes, dating sites yield mixed results. Many people find someone quickly and some people can't find anyone at all. In a sense it is a numbers game, the more people you talk to the higher the chances, but I think it is also fate.

Since I am an introvert and don't like socializing, the dating sites are the way for me to go.

Since my only hobbies are cats and religion and Baha'is don't meet in person much anymore, I am hard pressed to meet men that way, and if I went to a church to meet men I would be in for some uncomfortable conversations. I have Persian cats but since most men like dogs and not cats, I would not meet many men at cat shows.

 

[Stevicus]

also better than going out on my deck and getting bitten by a raccoon! It's a good thing he bit through my sweater, but now I wear a heavy jacket, gloves and boots whenever I go out there.

So, @Valjean is up to his usual antics?

 

[Exaltist Ethan]

How about you, is RF a positive social outlet in your life?

Very much so. 90% of the members are kind and worth talking to. One thing that I like about RF is even though it does focus on religion, I can talk about things that are on my mind that aren't religious or spiritual in nature.

I have two very close emotional friends. One I actually met on here, a guy named Dan, and then a woman I met on Facebook named Hayley. Hayley has actually joined RF because of me, but she doesn't post much at all.

I kind of treat everybody here like acquittances, and a few, like @Eddi as friends. Ed and I are friends on Facebook too, and know each other's Discord handles.

I enjoy this website, but by no means is it the only place I go to meet people. I also have MMOs I play to do that too, the only problem is ... they only want to talk about the game we're currently playing.

Ah well. If I want to talk about template changes in SWG, I'll play SWG, and if I want to talk about religion (or just about anything else) I'll go to RF or Facebook and chat with my friends on there.

 

[Ella S.]

Honestly, it depends on the thread and the users I'm discussing with.

I've been a vocal critic of how a large chunk of this site is unproductively destructive but that doesn't mean the entire site is bad.

 

[Alien826]

There's not enough nudity and graphic sexuality.

Oops! Sorry that was meant for a forum about TV shows.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

TLDR: For you, is RF a healthy social outlet? It is for me I think.

Occasionally I’ll see someone leave because RF is not a healthy social outlet for them.

For me, both my place of employment and RF prevent me from being a complete hermit. Both keep me integrated with society. I don’t have friends in my day to day life, just acquaintances and coworkers. I just don’t want friends any more, been there done that. I’m barely warming up to the idea of befriending a coworker or two after over a year of working with them. But of RF I can entertain the idea of being friends with some of you. Since we are all interested in religion/spirituality, I can get along with people here.

So for that reason I think it is healthy for me.

How about you, is RF a positive social outlet in your life?

I also don’t have a group of people that I talk to outside of this site and work, but not by choice. I’m working on changing that and I have a couple potential candidates if they’re willing, that I might ask to do something biweekly or even weekly maybe.

I feel like there’s a large difference between internet socializing and in person socializing. Internet is more free and is like taking off the mask, but in person gives you strengths such as body language and other social skills. Plus it can be funner to have a continuous conversation rather than waiting for replies. Just my opinion though